Despicable Me

Fred: Good morning, Gru! How you doing? Gru: Hello, Fred. FYI, your dog has been leaving little bombs all over my yard and I don't appreciate it. Fred: [chuckles] Sorry. You know dogs, they go wherever they wanna go. Gru: Unless they're dead. [laughs] I'm joking! Although it is true. Anyway, have a good one. Fred: [confused] Oh, okay. Um, uh… yeah!

Despicable Me (film), CC BY-SA 4.0

Dr. Nefario: [appears on the TV] Gru! Gru: Ah, Dr. Nefario. Dr. Nefario: I know how you must be feeling. I too have encountered great disappointment, but in my eyes, you'll always be one of the greats. Gru: What? What happened? Dr. Nefario: It's all over the news! Some fella just stole a pyramid! He said it makes all other villains look... lame. Gru: [responds angrily] Assemble the Minions! Now!

Despicable Me (film), CC BY-SA 4.0

Gru: [takes phone call] Hello, Mom. Sorry. I meant to call, but…? Marlena: I told you, that somebody has stolen the pyramid! [Gru screams in shock] That wasn’t you, isn’t it? Or was it a villain who was actually successful? [laughs] Gru: Just so you know, mom, I'm about to do something that's very very big, very important! When you hear about it, you're going to be very proud! Marlena: Ha! Good luck with that! Okay, I'm outta here! [ends the call and kicks a punching bag in her dojo, knocking another man across the room] Ha!

Despicable Me (film), CC BY-SA 4.0

Dr. Nefario: We've been working on this one for a while. It's an Anti-Gravity Serum. Dr. Nefario: I meant to close that. He'll be all right, I'm sure. Gru: Do the effects wear off? Dr. Nefario: Err, so far, no. No, they don't. Dr. Nefario: And here, of course, is the new weapon you ordered. [fires cloud of foul-smelling gas at minion, making a flatulent noise and knocking the minion out] Gru: No, no, no. I said dart gun, not fart gun! Dr. Nefario: Oh, yes. 'Cause I was wondering under what circumstances would we use this.

Despicable Me (film), CC BY-SA 4.0

Young Gru: [Watching Apollo 11 landings] Mom, someday I'm going to go to the moon! Marlena: Oh, I'm afraid you're too late, son. NASA isn't sending the monkeys anymore.

Despicable Me (film), CC BY-SA 4.0

Gru: Okey-dokey, beddy-bye, all tucked in. Sweet dreams. Margo: Just so you know, you're never gonna be my dad. Gru: Hmm. I think I can live with that. [pulls the lever up] Edith: Are these beds made out of bombs? Gru: Yes, but they are very old and highly unlikely to blow up... but try not to toss and turn. Edith: Cool. Agnes: Will you read us a bedtime story? Gru: No. Agnes: But we can't go to sleep without a bedtime story. Gru: Well, then, it's going to be a long night for you, isn't it? So good night, sleep tight, and don't let the bed bugs bite. Because there are literally thousands of them. [whispers scarily] Oh, and there's probably something in your closet. [closes the door] Margo: He's just kidding, Agnes.

Despicable Me (film), CC BY-SA 4.0