Deadpool 2

Vanessa: Kiss me like you miss me, Red. Blind Al: Listen to the pain. It's both a history teacher and fortune teller. Pain teaches us who we are, Wade. Sometimes, it's so bad, we feel like we're dying. But we can't really live 'til we've died a little, can we? Weasel: There you go, little fella. Go on, you're doing it! My beautiful, hairless, Twizzler-legged baby boy. Juggernaut: "Let's Fuck Some Shit Up" is my legal middle name.

Deadpool 2, CC BY-SA 4.0

Dopinder: I want to become a contract killer. Deadpool: I'm sorry, what did you say? Dopinder: Remember when I kidnapped Bandhu and threatened him with great violence? Deadpool: Err, you kind of killed him. Dopinder: And then remember the movie Interview with the Vampire? Deadpool: Don't want to. Dopinder: When Tom Cruise fed 10-year-old Kirsten Dunst blood for the first time, and she looked up at his smooth, handsome face and said "I want some more..." Oh, Pool, picture me, a 10-year-old Kirsten Dunst! Deadpool: ...I'll never not picture that. But I can't wait to never speak of this, as soon as possible. We're here. Deadpool: Dopinder? It's me again. Look, a saner man might discourage you from joining the deadly merc business, what with your concave chest and your paper towel tube arms. But you're an eagle, and goddammit, an eagle's gotta soar! You gotta grab those dreams, grab those dreams by the dick-tip and make it rain! Dopinder: I don't know what that means. Deadpool: Me neither!

Deadpool 2, CC BY-SA 4.0

Deadpool: Family was always an F-word to me. My pile-of-shit father took off and bailed. I mean, it's not like I have a lot of strong role models to draw off of for Todd. Vanessa: Hey, look at me. You are not your father. Besides... I will never, ever let our child be named Todd. Deadpool: But here's the thing – isn't that how it always works? Like in Star Wars, men are destined to become their father, and have consensual sex with their sister? Vanessa: I think you missed big, big chunks of that movie. Deadpool: No, I'm pretty sure Luke nailed her. Vanessa: Baby, that's Empire. The point is, kids... they give us a chance to be better than we are. Better than we used to be. Deadpool: You're a lot smarter than I look.

Deadpool 2, CC BY-SA 4.0

Deadpool: Why can't I just die? Colossus: Take your mask off, Wade. We must talk. [Deadpool does so] You need fresh start. With train, you can be X-Man. Deadpool: You're wasting your time, Shiny Jesus. I'm not X-Men material. Negasonic Teenage Warhead: [enters the room with Yukio] Understatement of the year. Wade, Yukio. Yukio, Wade. [Yukio waves at Deadpool] Deadpool: What in the fuck-knuckles is this? Negasonic Teenage Warhead: She's my girlfriend, you intolerant shit. Deadpool: Whoa! Pump the hate brakes, Fox & Friends! I'm just surprised anyone would date you, especially Pinkie Pie from My Little Pony. [winks at Yukio] Yukio: [smiling] I like this guy! Negasonic Teenage Warhead: Give him a chance. [to Deadpool] It's great seeing you like this. Deadpool: [laughs] Yeah. Yukio: [leaves the room with Negasonic Teenage Warhead] Bye, Wade. [waves back]

Deadpool 2, CC BY-SA 4.0

Deadpool: Hi there! Firefist: [pointing at Negasonic Teenage Warhead] Stay back or Justin Bieber dies! Deadpool: Ha! Justin Bieber. He called you Justin Bieber.

Deadpool 2, CC BY-SA 4.0

Colossus: Come quietly or there will be trouble! Firefist: You stole that from RoboCop! Deadpool: That's RoboCop! Just stand down!

Deadpool 2, CC BY-SA 4.0