Quotes
Mafia Mamma
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Dialogue
Jenny: Kristin, what do you masturbate to?
Kristin: Italian cooking shows. I mean, more specifically, "Stanley Tucci: Searching for Italy". There was this one episode where he went to this burrata factory and it was all…
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Paul: This is really hard for me to admit, but, I have - this illness. All I want to do is have sex.
Kristin: I mean, I want to have sex too. We haven't had sex in, like, three years!
Paul: Yeah, I know, but, what I mean…
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Kristin: Shouldn't I stay here and work on my marriage?
Jenny: You should work on getting your pussy pounded.
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Kristin: It's such an amazing time in your life. You can really become anyone you want to be.
Domenick: Mom.
Kristin: You could change the world.
Domenick: Mom.…
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Kristin: I just need a vacation. I just really want my: Eat, Pray, Fuck!
Bianca: Eat, Pray, Fuck?
Kristin: Yeah, it's a - play on words, you know, the book, "Eat Pray Love".
Aldo: Yeah, it's a very uplifting and moving…
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Kristin: [Dante stomps on Kristen's cell phone] How is Lorenzo supposed to get in touch with me? How will I ever have sex!
Bianca: [Slaps Kristin] You cannot be speaking to random strangers. It's too dangerous.
Kristin…
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Aldo: You can't leave. If the boss says you are the boss, you are the boss now.
Kristin: Yeah. Yeah, but, you know what, I am not a boss, like, not in any way shape or form. So, you know, especially, not in a mafia kind…
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Kristin: I deserve this. I deserve this. I'm gonna go and I'm gonna have my own "Under the Tuscan Sun" or "Eat Pray Love".
Jenny: Fuck.
Kristin: What?
Jenny: Eat, Pray, *Fuck*. Say it.…
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Bianca: We have machines to crush grapes now. But, this is the classic way.
Kristin: This does feel kinda nice, huh?
Bianca: You must stomp on the grapes to release their juices.
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Kristin: Listen, listen, listen. It's Oreo.
Carlo Romano: Really? Two chocolate biscuits together - with cream?
Kristin: The cream - the cream is my favorite part.
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Bianca: Kristin! Kristin! You can't run away from your destiny.
Kristin: Oh, yeah? Watch me. Which way is it?
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Bianca: It can't be Fabrizio. He started the shootout. He's a hothead - with a horrible temper. Just like Sonny.
Kristin: Whose Sonny?
Bianca: From "The Godfather"!
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Kristin: He tried to kill me.
Jenny: With his penis?
Kristin: No, no, with poison.
Jenny: Poison penis? Slow down, Lorenzo did what?…
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Carlo Romano: You are a Balbano. My Uncle killed your father. One day, you will come for me and the rest of my family. Eventually, we both seek revenge. Like Vito Corleone.
Kristin: I never saw "The Godfather"
Carlo…
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Bianca: So you fucked him.
Kristin: No. He died first.
Bianca: You missed something. When he came, he screamed like a woman.
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Carlo Romano: Do you like Limoncello?
Kristin: Oh, I'm more of a cherry jello person.
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Kristin: Who's this? [Points at a photograph] Oh, yeh, he looks like such a naughty little hobbit.
Rudy AKA 'Lorenzo': Yeah, he's my Uncle Ernesto. He recently died.
Kristin: Oh, I'm so sorry.
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Fabrizio: Drugs.
Bianca: Counterfeit bags.
Fabrizio: Guns, gambling.
Kristin: Ah, so far, I have heard nothing that is either legal or moral.…
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Wayne: You got water. You got wetness.
Randy: A whole lotta wetness.
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Randy: She looks lonely. She looks - she looks her age, bro.
Wayne: She does.
Hank: No woman should look her age.
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Kristin: No. No intrada! Absolutely, no intrada! No.
Bruno: You like sausage...
Kristin: No. No sausages! I'm strictly vegetariano. No, thank you.
Bruno: Very spicy.…
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Randy: So, you know, she mindin' her business, walkin' through the desert, like people do.
Wayne: That's a great metaphor for a tired woman with a face that's all marked by time.
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Kristin: I feel like Michael Corleone.
Bianca: You saw the movie!
Kristin: No. I read the Wikipedia summary.
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Bianca: I thought once you had sex you would calm down a bit.
Kristin: Hey, I've been here two days and I've been almost murdered twice. That's one per day. I'm going to need a lot more sex to calm me down!
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Fabrizio: It wasn't just blood on Bruno. It was mushy, thick, bits of his scrotum were stuffed in his side socket. And that's why the listen to you.
Kristin: Because he had bits of his scrotum stuffed in his side socket?…
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Paul: Who the hell are these people?
Bianca: They are her best grape squashers and I'm the label maker.
Kristin: Yes! I'm a vintner, now.
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Kristin: Oh my God. Are you even a pasta maker? We were gonna run away together. We were gonna open a restaurant. I was gonna make the wine. You were gonna make the food. I was gonna get fat and you weren't gonna care.…
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