The Bad Guys

Snake: Stop! Wolf: I'll stop if you just explain it to me, Because I don't... Snake: Would you please just drop it? Wolf: Alright, alright, fine. Consider it dropped. It's dropped. It's on the ground. Snake: Good. Wolf: But, I mean, come on! Everybody loves birthdays! [Snake groans] You got decorations, you got balloons, you got parties. And cake! Snake: Look, I don't need presents, I don't want decorations, and I'm not a cake guy. Wolf: Seriously though, you don't like cake? Name one food better than cake. Snake: Guinea pig. Wolf: Oh, again with the guinea pig. [chuckles] I bet if I blindfolded you, you wouldn't be able to tell the difference between a skunk and a guinea pig. Snake: Wrong! Snakes have impeccable taste buds. I can taste air. Wolf: Air? Snake: Yes! Air. [tastes the air around him] Mmm, nice. Wolf: I dunno. They're a little, uh... a little cute for my taste. Snake: That's what makes them so delicious! You're not just eating food. You're eating pure goodness! It's not abo

The Bad Guys (film), CC BY-SA 4.0

Wolf: [puts on a "full charm-offensive"] Madam Governor. Diane. Diane: [sternly holds up her hand] Do NOT Clooney me, Wolf. Wolf: Oh, I see what’s going on. You think I’m still a Bad Guy, trying to bamboozle my way to freedom. But we’ve changed! That "flower of goodness" is blossoming all over the place. Diane: [sighs annoyedly and rolls her eyes] Don’t you ever get tired of lying? Wolf: [chuckling] No. I mean… [stammers] Fudge. That was… That was a trick question, right? Diane: [sighs] I gave you an opportunity! A chance to show the world that you're more than just a scary stereotype, but... you're too proud or too gutless to take advantage of it! Wolf: [angrily] Gutless? I'm gutless? Oh-ho-ho, I'm sorry, have we met? I'm the villain of every story! Guilty until proven innocent! Even if by some miracle [Diane suddenly looks smug as she secretly realizes Wolf is just like her.] we did change, who's gonna believe us? Huh? Of course, you wouldn't know anything about that with your Little

The Bad Guys (film), CC BY-SA 4.0

Wolf: I think we got off to a bad start. The name's Wolf. [climbs up the tree; the cat cowers in fear and whimpers as if thinking that Wolf is going to hurt him] Yep. [sighs] I get that a lot. First impressions and all. [continues climbing as the cat steps back and jumps onto another frond, which begin to shake] No, no, no, no! [The frond breaks. Wolf catches the cat, just before he could hit the ground, then puts him back in the tree.] Now, it's OK. It's OK. I'm not gonna hurt you. I know you're scared. I would be, too, if I were you. Just give me a chance. [The cat meows.] The truth is, we actually have a lot in common. Don't tell anyone, but I love a little scratch on the spot behind my ears. You know, right there. The best. [The cat recoils as Wolf reaches his hand out to him. He looks to the side as if looking for an avenue of escape then looks back at Wolf] Come on, Kitty. [Kitty sniffs Wolf's hand, then rubs his face on it. He purrs happily as Wolf scratches behinds his ear and

The Bad Guys (film), CC BY-SA 4.0

Wolf: [to Marmalade, after discovering his true colors about setting the gang up] You... It was all you. Webs: What are you talking about, Wolf? Wolf: The old lady, the Golden Dolphin, good training. It was all to get us here, so he could steal the meteorite and let us take the fall. Snake: Whoa, whoa. What old lady? And-And why would a guinea pig want a meteorite anyway? Shark: Uh, guys? He's creeping me out. Piranha: Wait, what? What's going on? Someone turn me around! Marmalade: [to the Bad Guys] Well, well. So, you finally get it. All: [shocked] What?! Shark: You stole the meteorite?! Marmalade: Oh, it's not just a meteorite. Piranha: I told you guys it's a butt! Marmalade: It's not a butt! It's the ultimate power source. You see, when it struck, scientists found that it emitted an electromagnetic frequency unlike anything else on Earth. I'm going to harness its power to pull off the greatest heist the world has ever seen! Webs: [to Snake] You should've eaten him when you had the c

The Bad Guys (film), CC BY-SA 4.0

Shark: I can't believe we got double-crossed by a tiny rodent! Snake: Oh, we got double-crossed by a rodent all right. But, uh, not a tiny one. Shark: What?! Snake: This was supposed to be us conning Marmalade. It turns out it was Wolf conning us! Does that sound familiar to you, Wolf?! Wolf: Why-Why would you think that? Snake: Oh, I don't know! Maybe because you just sabotaged the biggest heist of our lives! I think you owe us an explanation, buddy. Wolf: Okay, you're right. This is what happened. Back in the museum, I just tried to steal an old lady's purse. [gets his mugshot taken] Classic snatch and grab. Webs: "Tried" to? Since when do you try to steal something and not just steal it? Wolf: I was trying to steal the purse when the old lady fell and... [clears his throat] I kind of helped her. Snake: What?! [gets his mugshot taken] Wolf:: I kind of helped her. Piranha: But then you stole the purse. [gets his mugshot taken] Wolf: No, [chuckles] I didn't! I saved the old lady, and s

The Bad Guys (film), CC BY-SA 4.0

The Bad Guys: [gasps] DIANE?! Piranha: But how do you know how to do all of that kick-kick-punch-punch? Wolf: Wait a sec. You're the Crimson Paw?? [Diane smiles cheekily.] The Queen of Cons, acrobatic Swiss Army Knife, stole the Zumpango Diamond twice; once for profit, second time just for fun. Never identified, never caught. Diane: Heh. Guess I'm still the best bad guy the world has ever seen. [looks at her ninja outfit and sees a cut mark on her sleeve] Ugh. At least I used to be. [The alarms blare. Diane puts her mask back on as dozens of guards surround the Bad Guys. Diane jumps on Wolf, then Shark so to jump high in the air, then flying down for a falling punch... The scene cuts to Diane driving the Bad Guys away from prison on a boat, as explosions go off around the prison] Nope, I'm still the best. Just like riding a stolen bicycle. [to Piranha, who has one of the "fins" on his head on fire] Oh, uh, you got a little... [puts it out] Ouch.

The Bad Guys (film), CC BY-SA 4.0