Quotes

Buddy

[He steps up on a toilet and looks over a neighboring stall in the washroom] Hey! Have you seen these toilets?! They're gi-normous!

Rap lyrics

Whoomp, there it is! A little louder, whoomp, there it is! Come on, y'all, whoomp! There it is upside down and inside out, hey! I'm 'bout to show all you folks, what it's all about, hey! Time for me to get on the mike! And make this mother of a party hype, I'm taking you back to the old school, 'cause I'm an old fool who's so cool, if you wanna get down, I'm gonna show you the way! Whoomp, there it is, let me hear you say, Whoomp, there it is! Come on, y'all! Whoomp! There it is a little louder! Whoomp, there it is! Come on, y'all! Whoomp, there it is!

Dialogue

Papa Elf: Oh, hello. You're, uh, you're probably here. About the, uh, the story. Elves love to tell stories. I-I'll bet you didn't know that about elves. There's, uh, probably a lot of things You... you didn't know about elves. Another... another interesting, uh, elf-ism, uh, there are only three jobs available to an elf. The first is making shoes at night, while, you know, while the old... the old cobbler sleeps. Shoe elf: Lazy bum. Couldn't even make a clog. Papa Elf: [Scene cuts to an oak tree house scene] You can bake cookies in a tree. Elf: Hey! Papa Elf: As you can imagine, it's, uh, dangerous having an oven in an oak tree during the dry season. Baker elf: [Scene of elves fleeing an oak tree going up in flames] I wanna make shoes! Papa Elf: But the third job... [scene cuts to the workshop scene] uh, some call it, uh, "The show," or... or "the big dance," it's the profession that every elf aspires to, and that is to build toys in Santa's workshop. Supervisor Elf: Only two weeks le

Dialogue

Papa Elf: Well, I think it's time you start your tinker training. Buddy: [He pokes head in sleigh garage and gasps] Santa's sleigh. Papa Elf: You're gonna help me make it fly. Buddy: I thought the magical reindeer made The sleighs fly. Papa Elf: And where do the reindeer get their magic from? Buddy: Christmas spirit. Everybody knows that. Papa Elf: Well, silly as it sounds, a lot of people down south don't believe in Santa Claus. Buddy: What?! Well, who do they think puts all their toys under the tree? Papa Elf: Well, there's a rumor floating around that, uh, that the parents do it. Buddy: That's... that's ridiculous. I mean, parents couldn't do that all in one night. What about Santa's cookies? I suppose parents eat them, too? Papa Elf: Yeah, I, uh, I... I know, uh, and every year less and less people believe in Santa Claus. I mean, we have a real energy crisis on our hands. Buddy: Oh. Papa Elf: I mean, just see how low the, uh Claus meter is. Buddy: That's shocking. Papa Elf: That's

Dialogue

Papa Elf: As much as, uh, Buddy was accepted by his family and friends, there were a few drawbacks to being, uh, a human in, uh an elf's world. Buddy: Hey, Ming Ming. Um... I'm gonna be a little bit short on today's quota. Ming Ming: It's all right, Buddy. Just how many Etch-a-Sketches did you get finished? Come on, Buddy. How many? Buddy: I made, uh... 85. [All the elves stop and stare] Ming Ming: Eighty-five? That puts you... 915 off the pace. Female elf: Ooh... that's bad. Buddy: Why don't you just say it? I'm the worst toy maker in the world. I'm a cotton-headed ninny-muggins. [All the elves gasps] Ming Ming: No, Buddy, you're not a cotton-headed ninny-muggins. We all just have different talents, that's all. Buddy: Seems like everyone else have the same talents except for me. Ming Ming: You... you have, you have lots of talents, uh... special talents in fact, like um, uh... Buddy: Special talents? Female elf in blue: You changed the batteries in the smoke detector. Male elf in yell

Dialogue

Ming Ming: Hey, Foom Foom... I hate to do this to you, but you think you could help me pick up the slack on those etch-a-sketches? Foom Foom: No problem. I appreciate it. Ming Ming: Buddy is killing me. I already got Lum Lum and Choo Choo pullin' doubles. Foom Foom: That was quick thinking yesterday with that “special talents” thing. Ming Ming: I feel bad for the guy. I just hope he doesn't get wise. Foom Foom: Well, if he hasn't figured out he's a human by now, I don't think he ever will. Buddy: [In a flashback] I think they're too small. Ming Ming: You're just... special. Pom Pom: [In presence] You don't look so good, Buddy. Are you okay? Buddy: I'll be okay, I just need a glass of water. [Buddy faints, falling on Pom Pom] Pom Pom: Aah! Buddy...

Dialogue

Papa Elf: Buddy, are you okay? Buddy: I'm sorry, Papa. I just need some alone time. Papa Elf: Buddy, I... I think we... we have to talk. Buddy, uh, I think there's something I... I probably should tell you. You probably should have found out a long... A long time ago.

Dialogue

Buddy: My dad works there? Papa Elf: Empire State Building.

Dialogue

Arctic Puffin: Hey, buddy, wanna pick some snow berries? Buddy: Not now, Arctic Puffin. Leon: Hello, Buddy. Buddy: Oh... hi, Leon. Leon: Why the long face, partner? Buddy: It seems I'm... I'm not an elf. Leon: 'Course you're not. You're 6'3" and had a beard since you were 15. Buddy: Papa says my real father lives in a magical place far away. I don't know what to do. Leon: At least you have a daddy. I was just rolled up one day and left out here in the cold. Buddy: Thing is, I've never even left the North Pole. Leon: Buddy, I've been around the world many times when I was a young cumulonimbus cloud. It's a wonderful place, filled with wondrous creatures... Except dogs. Oh, by the way, don't eat the yellow snow. Buddy: Oh, I know that. Leon: All I'm saying is this might be the golden opportunity to find out who you really are.

Dialogue

Santa: So, I hear you're going on a little journey to the big city. Buddy: Yup. Ahh. I'm kind a nervous. [Santa chuckles] Leon says New York is pretty different. Santa: Oh, don't pay attention to Leon. He's never been anywhere. He doesn't have any feet. I've been to New York thousands of times. Buddy: Really? Santa: Mm-hmm. Buddy: What's it like? Santa: Well, there are some things you should know. First off, you see gum on the street, Leave it there. It's not free candy. Buddy: Oh. Santa: Second, there are, like, 30 Ray's Pizzas. They all claim to be the original, but the real one's on the 11th. And if you see a sign that says "Peep Show," that doesn't mean that They're letting you look at presents before Christmas. Buddy: Can't wait to see my dad... we're gonna go ice skating and... and eat sugar plums. Santa: Yeah, that's the other thing I wanted to talk to you about. You know, Buddy... [sighs] your father... well... he's on the Naughty List. Buddy: [Face comes absolutely aghast] <bi

Dialogue

Nun: You're taking the books back? Walter: See, I... I see what you're trying to do here. You're trying to make me feel bad, when, in actuality, you're the one that missed the payments. Nun: But the children love the books. Walter: I know that, uh... you know, I'm the one that ran the focus groups, but I like hearing that.

Dialogue

Santa: Listen, some people, they just lose sight of what's important in life. That doesn't mean they can't find their way again, huh? Maybe all they need is just a little Christmas spirit. Buddy: Well, uh, I... I'm good at that. Santa: I know you are. Papa Elf: And I'll... I'll always, uh, I'll always be here for you. Now, uh... Go... uh, get. Buddy: Bye, guys. Arctic Puffin: Bye, buddy. Take care.

Dialogue

Mr. Narwhal: Bye, Buddy. Hope you find your dad. Buddy: Thanks, Mr. Narwhal. Bye.

Dialogue

Walter: [In office] A reprint? You know how much that's gonna cost? Client: Two whole pages are missing. The story doesn't make any sense. Walter: What, you think some kid's gonna notice two pages? I mean, they... all they do is look at pictures.

Dialogue

Buddy: Sorry I can't ride with you the rest of the way up, but this is where my dad works. Elevator rider: Well, have a good day. Buddy: Oh, I forgot to give you a hug. [elevator door closes] Secretary Deb: Oh, I don't know, Connie, I've never declawed kittens before. How many? Eight? I don't know if I'm gonna have time. Well, all right, just bring 'em by the camper this week, and I'll see what I can do. I'm not gonna charge you. Just bring 'em by, and I'll see what I can do. Bye. Buddy: [to Deb] Excuse me. I'm here to see a Walter Hobbs. I'm Buddy the Elf. Secretary Deb: [Laughs] You look hilarious. Who sent you? Buddy: Papa Elf. Secretary Deb: Papa Elf?! Buddy: Mm-hmm. From the North Pole. Secretary Deb: From the North Pole?! Buddy: Yes.

Dialogue

Client: So, you really think we should ship 'em? Walter: No, I think we should take a $30,000 bath so some kid can understand what happened? To a puppy and a frigging pigeon? Ship 'em. [Phone rings] Yeah. Secretary Deb: Mr. Hobbs? It's me on the intercom. Walter: Go ahead. Secretary Deb: Yeah, I think some one sent you a Christmas-gram. [Buddy bursts into office] Buddy: Dad! Walter: [Chuckles] All right, uh, let's get it Over with. Buddy: I walked all day and night to find you. Walter: Uh, you look like you came from the North Pole. [Chuckles] Buddy: That's exactly where I came from. Santa must've called you! Walter: Oh, yeah, sure, he, uh... Just got off the cell phone with me. Buddy: You did?! Walter: So, go on. Go on with what? Well, are... are you gonna sing a song or something, or can I just go back to work? Buddy: A song? Uh... yeah. Anything for you, Dad, uh... I... I'm, I'm here with my dad and we never met and he wants me to sing him a song and, um, I was adopted but you didn'

Dialogue

Department samplist administer: Passion fruit spray? Buddy: Fruit spray? Sure. [He sprays it in his mouth and then starts crying in pain] Department samplist ạdmịṇịster: Sorry.

Dialogue

Gimbel's Manager: Psst! [Grunts and gestures to "come here"] Hey, come... come here! Buddy: [Mystified] Me? Gimbel's Manager: Yes! What are you doing down here?! You're not supposed to be down here! You can shop on your break, you don't... [grabs Buddy] come on, get upstairs! Buddy: Okay, I didn't know! Gimbel's Manager: Well You should know! Buddy: Are you mad at me? Gimbel's Manager: No. Buddy: Are you sure? Gimbel's Manager: Yes, I'm sure! Just do your job! Buddy: Okay, fair enough. Buddy: [Gasps] Wow! What's this? Gimbel's Manager: This is the North Pole. Buddy: No, it's not. Gimbel's Manager: Yes, it is. Buddy: No, it's not. Gimbel's Manager: Yes, it is. Buddy: No, it isn't. Gimbel's Manager: Yes, it is. Buddy: No, it's not! Where's the snow? [smiles] Gimbel's Manager: Why are you smiling like that? Buddy: I just like to smile! Smiling's my favorite. Gimbel's Manager: [pause] Make work your favorite, okay? Buddy: Okay. Gimbel's Manager: Work is your new favorite. Buddy: Fine. Gimb

Dialogue

Jovie: Are you enjoying the view? Buddy: You are very good at decorating that tree. Jovie: Why are you messing with me? Did Krumpet put you up to this? Buddy: I'm not messing with you. It's just nice to meet another human who shares my affinity for, elf culture. Jovie: I'm just trying to get through the holidays. Buddy: Get through? Christmas is the greatest day in the whole wide world! Jovie: Please stop talking to me. Buddy: Uh-oh. Sounds like somebody needs to sing a Christmas carol. Jovie: No way. Buddy: The best way to spread Christmas cheer is singing loud for all to hear. Jovie: Thanks, but I don't sing. Buddy: Oh, well, it's just like talking, except longer and louder, and you move your voice up and down. Jovie: I can sing, I just choose not to sing. Especially in front of other people. Buddy: If you can sing alone, you sing in front of other people. There's no difference. Jovie: Actually, there's a BIG difference. Buddy: No... no... no, there isn't. Wait... [starts singing lou

Dialogue

Walter: Hey, uh... I'm gonna eat in the bedroom, okay? I, uh, I got a bunch of stuff to go over. Emily: Are you sure? Walter: I'm... I'm just way behind on a bunch of stuff. Emily: Okay. Michael: Can I eat in my room? Emily: No. Michael: Why not? Dad's eating in his room. [Mimics father's voice] I got a bunch of homework to go over, and I'm way behind on a bunch of stuff. Emily: You're eating here.

Dialogue

Jovie: Hey, you. Buddy: Me? Jovie: Come here. I wanna talk to you. Buddy: What do you wanna talk to me about? Jovie: How come you were in the women's locker room this morning? Buddy: I heard you singing. Jovie: You sure it had nothing to do with the fact that I was naked and in the shower? Buddy: I didn't know you were naked. Why were you here so early? Jovie: They shut my water off. What were you doing here so early? Buddy: Building this. Jovie: You built this? They're kinda pissed about this. Buddy: Really? Gimbel's Manager: [Ạpproạċhes] Hey, guys. Have you seen the place? It's pretty good. It's a little "too good". Corporate must have sent in a professional. I don't know why somebody's gunning for my job. But look, let's remain a team, okay? Cause if I go, we all go. If you get wind of anything, call me on my radio. Channel three. Code word is "Santa's got a brand new bag." Okay? [To Jovie] Six inch ribbon curls, honey. Jovie: [Rolls her eyes] But that's impossible. Gimbel's Manager

Dialogue

Buddy: [Sees Santa in the store] Santa. Gimbel's Santa: Hey! Ho, ho, ho! Buddy: Santa! It's me, Buddy! It's me! Gimbel's Santa: Hey, Buddy. How you doing? Buddy: Santa, it's me! [his excitement and enthusiasm fades away as he grimaces at him] Who the heck are you? Gimbel's Santa: What are you talking about? I'm Santa Claus. Buddy: No, you're not. Gimbel's Santa: Uh... Why of course I am! Ho, ho, ho, ho, ho. Buddy: Well, if you're Santa, what song did I sing for you on your birthday this year? Gimbel's Santa: Um... Well, "Happy Birthday", of course! Ho, ho, ho! So, uh, how old are you, son? Paul: Four. Gimbel's Santa: You're a big boy. What's your name? Paul: Paul. Gimbel's Santa: And, uh, what can I get you for Christmas? Buddy: [Quietly] Paul, don't tell him what you want. He's a liar. Gimbel's Santa: [To Buddy] Let the kid talk. Buddy: You disgust me. How can you live with yourself? Gimbel's Santa: Just cool it, zippy! Buddy: You sit on a throne of lies. Gimbel's Santa: Look, I'm not

Dialogue

Buddy: Dad! I knew that you'd come, I love you for coming. Officer Tom, this is my Dad. This is Walter... he came. He bailed me out. They gave me one phone call. [repeats] And I said," I know who I'm gonna call... Walter Hobbs. And sure enough, you showed up. You did, they said you weren't gonna show up. They told me so many times... Walter: Shh. Just who the heck are you, and what is your problem? Buddy: I'm Buddy. I'm your son. Walter: Wait, um... Tell me, tell me, tell me, uh... Where did you get this picture? Buddy: Papa Elf gave it to me. Walter: [Grabs Buddy and violently pins him to the wall] Listen... is this some kind a game? What do you want, some money? Buddy: No! I just wanted to meet you, And I thought you might wanna meet me. Walter: Who wouldn't wanna meet you? Buddy: I thought maybe we could make gingerbread houses, eat cookie dough, go ice skating, and... and maybe even hold hands. Walter: Uh-huh. Come with me. Buddy: Okay.

Dialogue

Physician: [Walks into examination room of medical clinic] Okay. What have we got here? Walter: Buddy, don't eat those. [Grabs Buddy's hand on third reach, and Buddy reveals the cotton balls in other hand in a magician's trick] Physician: We got to really hurry up, Walter, because I'm double-booked for the rest of the afternoon. Buddy: Am I sick? Walter: Yeah, but that's not why we're here. We're here to do a test, come on. Buddy: What kind of test? Walter: It's just a test to find out if you're my son or not. Buddy: Why am I sitting on paper? Physician: Because it's sanitary for the other patients. Now, would you sit still so I can do the finger prick? Buddy: [Gasps] Finger prick! Oh...! It's cold. Physician: Yeah, just please sit still, please? Buddy: Okay, can I listen to your necklace? Physician: No, you can't. Walter: Will you just sit still...? Buddy: Why is there a skeleton over there? Physician: I don't know. Walter, could you please...? Buddy: If I squint, it looks like a pira

Dialogue

Buddy: [In the waiting room] Oh... my finger has a heartbeat. Girl: It won't hurt so much after a while. What's your name? Buddy: Buddy. Girl: I'm Carolyn. Buddy: Hi. What do you want for Christmas? Girl: A Suzy-talks-a-lot. Buddy: I'll put in a good word with the big man. Girl: Thanks. Your costume is pretty. Buddy: Oh, it's not a costume. I'm an elf. Well, technically, I'm a human, but I was raised by elves. Girl: Oh, I'm a human raised by humans. Buddy: Hmm. Cool.

Dialogue

Walter: So? Physician: It's a boy. Buddy is your son. Walter: That's very impossible. You saw that guy out there. He's certifiably insane. Physician: He's probably just reverting to a state of childlike dependency. Walter: An elf? Physician: What he needs is to be nurtured. Walter: Oh, I see. So, you'd like me to breastfeed him? Physician: Walter, just bring him home, introduce him to Emily and Michael, and once he comes to terms with reality, he should drop the whole elf thing and move on with his life. I mean, that's what I would do if I were you.

Dialogue

Emily: Oh, my God! Walter, this is... this is wonderful, you... you have another son. Wonderful. Oh, gosh, I... I guess I never really thought of it that way. This is incredible, I... you know, it's a little complicated, But it's nothing that we can't handle. Walter: Honey? Emily: What? Walter: He thinks he's an elf. Emily: I'm sorry, what? Walter: He think he's a Christmas elf. Emily: Oh, come on, Walter, I'm sure he doesn't actually think he's an elf. Buddy: And then, I traveled through the 7 levels of the candy cane forest, past the sea of swirly-twirly gumdrops, and then, I walked through the Lincoln Tunnel. [Ṗroċeeds to then down an entire 2-litter bottle of Coca-Cola in one sịppịṅg] Emily: Ahh. So, where were you for the last 30 years? Buddy: The North Pole. Can you pass the maple syrup? Please? Emily: I... I didn't put... it's spaghetti. Buddy: Oh, you know what? I think I have some. [Reaches into his sleave and miraculously produces a mini bottle of maple syrup] Yes. Emily: You

Dialogue

Buddy: Dad? Dad? Dad! [Walter comes in door] Walter: What? Buddy: [Whispers] I can't go to sleep, unless I get tucked in. Walter: What? Buddy: I can't go to sleep unless I get tucked in. Walter: I am not gonna tuck you in. Buddy: I... I promise I'll go right to sleep. Walter: Fine. Buddy: Tickle fight, tickle fight! Walter: Buddy, stop. Buddy: Tickle fight. Tickle... Walter: Stop stop, stop. Buddy: Sorry. Walter: It's all right. Hey, uh, [Clears throat] you just lay there and go to sleep. Buddy: Okay. Walter: Okay. Buddy: Dad? Walter: Hmm? Buddy: I love you. Walter: Okay. Go to sleep now.

Dialogue

Greenway: Hobbs. Walter: Hey. How you doing? Greenway: Please sit down. Haven't seen you since the retreat. You're looking good. Walter: Thank you very much, you as well. What do I owe the pleasure? Greenway: Well, to be honest, I got a call from my niece. She wants to know how a certain puppy and a certain pigeon escaped the clutches of a certain evil witch. Walter: Believe me, we're already looking for new printers. This one has obviously gotten sloppy. Greenway: Maybe it isn't the printer who's gotten sloppy. That's your signature, right? Walter: You know, we could sit here and point fingers all day. Greenway: I've got news for you. Even if those two pages were in there, the book still would've sucked. Have you seen the numbers for this quarter? Walter: They'll be here today. Greenway: They're in. That frigging puppy and pigeon are tanking hard, Hobbs. My people estimate we're gonna post a minus 8 for this quarter. A minus 8. That does not happen. Walter: You know, we'll bounce back

Dialogue

Buddy: [Out of breath, following Michael] Wow, you're fast. I'm glad I caught up to you. I waited five hours for you. [Ịṇquịres ẇịthout pạusịṇg] Why is your coat so big? So, good news, I saw a dog today. Have you seen a dog? You probably have. How was school? Was it fun? Did you get a lot of homework? Huh? Do you have any friends? Do you have a best friend? Does he have a big coat, too? Michael: Go away! Buddy: Ow! Son of a...nutcracker!

Dialogue

Michael: Where did you say you were from? Buddy: Oh, yeah, candles burning low, lots of mistletoe, lots of snow and ice everywhere we go, choirs singing carols right outside my door, all these things and more. I wish Dad were here. Michael: Why? Buddy: 'Cause he's the greatest Dad in the whole wide world. Michael: Are you kidding? He's the worst Dad in the world. Buddy: What do you mean? Michael: All he does is work. Buddy: Working's fun. Michael: Not the way he does it. All he cares about is money. He doesn't care about you, or me, or anybody. Buddy: Well, he is on the naughty list. Michael: [Notices Buddy staring at Jovie] You like her? Buddy: Like who? Michael: The girl you're staring at. Buddy: Oh, uh... Yeah. Michael: Why don't you ask her out? Buddy: Out? Michael: You know, on a date... to eat food. Buddy: Food? Michael: Yes, real food, not candy. And if she says yes, you're in. It's like a secret code girls have. Jovie: Well, look who it is. Buddy: Hi, Jovie. Hi. Oh, uh, this is

Dialogue

Buddy: What should we put on it first? Michael: Lights! Buddy: Oh, good. And then, after that? Michael: Ornaments! Buddy: Ornaments, okay. Walter: What the hell's that? Michael: A Christmas tree. Walter: A Christmas tree? Michael: Buddy chopped it down in the park. Walter: Emily. Emily: I don't know what you're making such a big deal about. They were just having a little fun. Walter: Oh, fun? So felonies are fun now? I thought, see, felonies were felonies. Emily: Okay, the tree thing was bad. I'll get him to plant another one. But at least Michael is happy for once. Walter: What, uh, what's that supposed to mean? Emily: Well, I don't think it's any secret, Walter, that you haven't exactly been there for him. Walter: I'll tell you what, why don't we just pull him outta school and let the, uh, deranged elf man raise him? Then they can have lots of fun committing felonies. Michael: How are we gonna get the star on top? Buddy: I got it. [Buddy takes a running sprint, jumps on the couch, an

Dialogue

Buddy: That's a nice purple dress. It's very purple-y Walter: Francisco. Francisco: How's it going, Mr. Hobbs? Buddy: Ooh, Francisco, that's fun to say..." Francisco." Do you remember me? Secretary Deb: I do. I didn't recognize you. Buddy: I know, I'm in work clothes. Thank you, Deborah. Deb, you have such a pretty face. You should be on a Christmas card. Secretary Deb: You just made my day. Buddy: Eww. Walter: Buddy. Buddy: Mmm. Walter: You don't have to drink that. Buddy: Thank you. [Buddy begins reading a book, while Walter continues to work] Francisco...Francisco...Francisco. Walter: Buddy? Buddy: [Whispers] Am I too loud? Walter: Just... just a little. Buddy: Sorry. Walter: Yes, Bud? Buddy: Why is your name on the desk? Walter: I bought the desk. My name's there so no one steals it. Buddy: That's a joke, isn't it, Dad? Walter: Yeah, Buddy, that's a joke. Buddy: So, what are we gonna build? Walter: No, uh, we don't do that kind of work here, pal. Buddy: [Answers phone] Buddy the El

Dialogue

Walter: Uh, Greenway's coming in tomorrow, So, what... what do we got? Eugene: Well, Morris and I have been brainstorming, and we've come up with what I think is a pretty big idea. Walter: Great, what? Morris: You're gonna love it, it's fantastic. Walter: What? Morris: Okay, picture this... We bring in Miles Finch. Walter: The Miles Finch? Morris: The Golden Ghost. We bring him in! He's written more classics than Dr. Seuss. It ain't gonna be easy, But I think it's worth a shot. Walter: My two top writers, my crack team, my fun squad... you came in here pitching me, the idea of hiring another writer? Morris: Yeah. Walter: Miles Finch. I like it. [Chuckles] I like it.

Dialogue

Buddy: Then I traveled through the seven levels of the Candy Cane Forest and past the Sea of Swirly-twirly Gumdrops. [Goofing around with the suction tube and gasps] Ooh! Wow... it's sucky. Ohh, it's wonderful. Yes! That is marvelous how that... Oh! [Laughs and brings down head under the tube and gets suctioned and rips head away] Oh, it's very sucky. It's very... sucky. Whoo. [Talks to colleague next to him] Buddy: So, how'd you get here? Colleague: Work release. Buddy: Mm. [Ċolleạgue pours out ạ ḟlạsk] Oh, syrup and coffee? Why didn't I think of that? Can I try some? Colleague: Be my guest. Buddy: Very generous of you. Mmm. [Ḍrịṇks ạṇd gasps] I love syrup. Ohh, I love it. Mmm... Buddy: [Drunk] I know I sound like a broken record but we are buddies, you're my best friend, that's it. Mailroom Guy: You know, I have really great ideas, but no one around here listens to me. Buddy: I listen to your ideas, you have great ideas. Mailroom Guy: I got to go with the flow. Buddy: Then go with th

Dialogue

Morris: My favorite book of yours has gotta be Gus' pickles. It's existential, yet it's so accessible. Eugene: Uh, Mr. Finch, uh, Eugene Dupris here. It's a thrill just to be talking to you on our speakerphone. Walter: Miles, um, so, what do you think? Can you fly in tomorrow? Miles: I'll give you five hours tomorrow, not a minute more. Walter: Oh, that's... that's great. Miles: I'd like a black s500 to receive me at the airport. I need the interior of that car to be 71 degrees exactly. Walter: We can do that. Deborah: Mr. Hobbs? There's a situation downstairs. Miles: I'm sorry, what? Walter: No, hold on, Miles. Deb, hang up. Miles: I do not hold. Do not put me on hold. Deborah: We have a problem in the mailroom. Walter: What's going on? Don't speak... Deborah, hang up! Miles: That's it, I'm gone. Walter: Miles! Finch: I'll be there tomorrow... 71 degrees. Deborah: Sir, Chuck in the mailroom needs to talk to you. Walter: Chuck... what, Chuck? I mean, what could be going on down there t

Dialogue

Jovie: Hi. Buddy: Wow. You look miraculous. Jovie: So do you. Buddy: Thank you. Jovie: What would you like to do? Buddy: I got some ideas. [He turns around starts walking with Jovie following]

Dialogue

Buddy: Just reach out in front of you and and take a sip. Don't look. There you go. Well? Jovie: It tastes like a crappy cup of coffee. Buddy: [Chuckles] No. [She takes blindfold off] Jovie: It is a crappy cup of coffee. Buddy: No, it's the world's best cup of coffee. Buddy: The trick is to not get your arm caught in the door! Also, never close your eyes 'cause then, okay, when you feel comfortable, you just jump in! Jovie: What are you doing? Buddy: I'm skipping. I'm skipping. I'm skipping. Wait, wait, wait... one more, one more. Buddy: Now, look at the size of this one. Come with me. Watch out. [They cross street and cab skids to a halt] Yellow ones don't stop. The yellow ones don't stop. Buddy: Wow... that's a big one. I'm sorry. You missed. Jovie: What do you mean I missed? Buddy: You missed. Also, never close your eyes' cause then Buddy: Sorry. Jovie: You missed. Buddy: What do you mean I missed? Jovie: You missed. [Kisses Buddy]

Dialogue

Miles Finch: [Arriving at Walter's office] All right, let's do this. Walter: Miles, I'm so happy you could come. Uh... Miles Finch: Yeah. Walter: I'm Walter Hobbs. Yeah, let's get the, uh... Taken care of so we can get started here. Here you go. Miles: Great. All right... [Clears throat] What have you guys got so far? Go ahead. Morris: Uh... We were thinking, uh, something like this, uh... We open on a young tomato. He's had some tough times down at the farm with, you know, a rabbit, and... Miles: No. No tomatoes... too vulnerable. Kids, they're already vulnerable. Walter: No, you see? I... I told you guys. I told them the very same thing... Miles: And no farms. Every body's pushing small town rural. A farm book would just be white noise. Eugene: What about this? Uh, a tribe of asparagus children, but they're self-conscious about the way their pee smells. [Gestures in a desperate urge of praising of originality] Walter: Apparently, all we have is vegetables, I have no time so you know,

Dialogue

Emily: [Calling Walter] Hi, it's me. Walter: I really can't talk right now. Emily: Well, just tell me how the pitch went. Walter: I'm gonna be a little later than I thought, okay? Emily: Well, don't be too late, Walter, it's Christmas Eve. Eugene: [He and Morris enters] Walter... Walter: Wait, um. Honey, I gotta go, okay? Love ya. Emily: Oh, say hi to Buddy. Walter: [Ḥangs up his phone] What? Eugene: Walter, breakthrough. We found this in the conference room. Walter: What is it? Eugene: It's Miles Finch's notebook. This thing is chock full of genius ideas. I mean, look at that. Morris: And his best idea is about a peach that lives on a farm. What's more vulnerable than a peach? Walter: What, uh, what do we do? Eugene: I think we should go with the first pitch... it's genius. Walter: Uh, how much time we got? Eugene: We got, like, 45 minutes. Walter: Well, come on, let's, uh, try to get a storyboard or something ready. Eugene: Come on, let's do it. Walter: Just try. No, you can't sit do

Dialogue

Greenway: As you know, we need a big launch, fast, to get the company back on track. So I think I speak for my fellow board members when I say, this better be good. Walter: Before I get into the story, let me start with the cover, okay? Now, just picture this... Michael: Dad! I gotta talk to you. Walter: Michael, what is it? Michael: Buddy ran away. Walter: What? Michael: He left a note. I'm scared, Dad. He's gone. Walter: Let me just finish this meeting and then we'll figure it out, okay? Michael: [Concernedly] Figure out what? Buddy cares about everybody. All you care about is yourself. Walter: Hey, Michael. Wait. We're gonna have to reschedule this, Mr. Greenway. Greenway: We don't have time to reschedule. I wanna hear the damn thing now. Son, you'll have to wait. Walter: No, don't tell my kid what to do. Can't we do this another time, Mr. Greenway? Greenway: I flew in just to hear this pitch and I intend to. Walter: It's gonna have to wait. Greenway: If you wanna keep your job, Hob

Dialogue

Buddy: Hey! You found it. Michael: Buddy! Buddy: I need to tell you something. Walter: No, no Buddy, there's something I have to tell you right now. Um, I didn't mean anything I said back there, not one word. I know you be a little, um, um... uh, chemically imbalanced, But you've been right about a lot of things. I... I don't want you to leave. You're my son, and I... love you.

Dialogue

Buddy: Santa, why are they chasing us? Santa: I put them on the Naughty List and they never forgave me.

Dialogue

Papa Elf: And so, with a little help, Buddy managed to save Christmas. And his spirit saved a lot of other people, too. Walter started his own independent publishing company. His first book was written by a brand new, critically acclaimed children's author. The book was Elf... a, uh, "fictional" story about an adopted elf named Buddy who was raised in the North Pole, went to New York, ate spaghetti, worked in a shiny mailroom, and eventually saved Christmas. Buddy: "First, I traveled through the seven levels of the Candy Cane Forest, past the Sea of Twirly-Swirly gumdrops, and then, I walked through the Lincoln tunnel..." Papa Elf: And as for me, I can't complain. Buddy comes up to visit from time to time. Oh, thank you, Jovie. That's very sweet of you. Jovie: You're welcome, Papa. But you can do the job when you're in town. Papa Elf: Hey, Suzie. Come here, little one. When it snows, ain't it thrilling? Papa wants to see you.