Elf

[He steps up on a toilet and looks over a neighboring stall in the washroom] Hey! Have you seen these toilets?! They're gi-normous!

Elf (film), CC BY-SA 4.0

Whoomp, there it is! A little louder, whoomp, there it is! Come on, y'all, whoomp! There it is upside down and inside out, hey! I'm 'bout to show all you folks, what it's all about, hey! Time for me to get on the mike! And make this mother of a party hype, I'm taking you back to the old school, 'cause I'm an old fool who's so cool, if you wanna get down, I'm gonna show you the way! Whoomp, there it is, let me hear you say, Whoomp, there it is! Come on, y'all! Whoomp! There it is a little louder! Whoomp, there it is! Come on, y'all! Whoomp, there it is!

Elf (film), CC BY-SA 4.0

Papa Elf: Oh, hello. You're, uh, you're probably here. About the, uh, the story. Elves love to tell stories. I-I'll bet you didn't know that about elves. There's, uh, probably a lot of things You... you didn't know about elves. Another... another interesting, uh, elf-ism, uh, there are only three jobs available to an elf. The first is making shoes at night, while, you know, while the old... the old cobbler sleeps. Shoe elf: Lazy bum. Couldn't even make a clog. Papa Elf: [Scene cuts to an oak tree house scene] You can bake cookies in a tree. Elf: Hey! Papa Elf: As you can imagine, it's, uh, dangerous having an oven in an oak tree during the dry season. Baker elf: [Scene of elves fleeing an oak tree going up in flames] I wanna make shoes! Papa Elf: But the third job... [scene cuts to the workshop scene] uh, some call it, uh, "The show," or... or "the big dance," it's the profession that every elf aspires to, and that is to build toys in Santa's workshop. Supervisor Elf: Only two weeks le

Elf (film), CC BY-SA 4.0

Papa Elf: Well, I think it's time you start your tinker training. Buddy: [He pokes head in sleigh garage and gasps] Santa's sleigh. Papa Elf: You're gonna help me make it fly. Buddy: I thought the magical reindeer made The sleighs fly. Papa Elf: And where do the reindeer get their magic from? Buddy: Christmas spirit. Everybody knows that. Papa Elf: Well, silly as it sounds, a lot of people down south don't believe in Santa Claus. Buddy: What?! Well, who do they think puts all their toys under the tree? Papa Elf: Well, there's a rumor floating around that, uh, that the parents do it. Buddy: That's... that's ridiculous. I mean, parents couldn't do that all in one night. What about Santa's cookies? I suppose parents eat them, too? Papa Elf: Yeah, I, uh, I... I know, uh, and every year less and less people believe in Santa Claus. I mean, we have a real energy crisis on our hands. Buddy: Oh. Papa Elf: I mean, just see how low the, uh Claus meter is. Buddy: That's shocking. Papa Elf: That's

Elf (film), CC BY-SA 4.0

Papa Elf: As much as, uh, Buddy was accepted by his family and friends, there were a few drawbacks to being, uh, a human in, uh an elf's world. Buddy: Hey, Ming Ming. Um... I'm gonna be a little bit short on today's quota. Ming Ming: It's all right, Buddy. Just how many Etch-a-Sketches did you get finished? Come on, Buddy. How many? Buddy: I made, uh... 85. [All the elves stop and stare] Ming Ming: Eighty-five? That puts you... 915 off the pace. Female elf: Ooh... that's bad. Buddy: Why don't you just say it? I'm the worst toy maker in the world. I'm a cotton-headed ninny-muggins. [All the elves gasps] Ming Ming: No, Buddy, you're not a cotton-headed ninny-muggins. We all just have different talents, that's all. Buddy: Seems like everyone else have the same talents except for me. Ming Ming: You... you have, you have lots of talents, uh... special talents in fact, like um, uh... Buddy: Special talents? Female elf in blue: You changed the batteries in the smoke detector. Male elf in yell

Elf (film), CC BY-SA 4.0

Ming Ming: Hey, Foom Foom... I hate to do this to you, but you think you could help me pick up the slack on those etch-a-sketches? Foom Foom: No problem. I appreciate it. Ming Ming: Buddy is killing me. I already got Lum Lum and Choo Choo pullin' doubles. Foom Foom: That was quick thinking yesterday with that “special talents” thing. Ming Ming: I feel bad for the guy. I just hope he doesn't get wise. Foom Foom: Well, if he hasn't figured out he's a human by now, I don't think he ever will. Buddy: [In a flashback] I think they're too small. Ming Ming: You're just... special. Pom Pom: [In presence] You don't look so good, Buddy. Are you okay? Buddy: I'll be okay, I just need a glass of water. [Buddy faints, falling on Pom Pom] Pom Pom: Aah! Buddy...

Elf (film), CC BY-SA 4.0