Quotes

Dialogue

Nacho: I thought you hated all the orphans in the whole world Esqueleto: Not anymore...I like them!

Dialogue

Nacho: It sucks to be me right now! Esqueleto: How come? Nacho: How come you think? I used to really like Ramses. I wanted to become him! But it turns out, he's a real douche.

Dialogue

Sister Encarnación: Well, my favorite color is light tan. My favorite animal is puppies. I like serving the lord. Hiking, playing volleyball... Nacho: You gotta be kidding me right now! Everything you said is my favorite thing to do. Every day.

Dialogue

Nacho: I'm not listening to you! You only believe in Science. That's probably why we never win. Esqueleto: We never win because you are fat!

Dialogue

Sister Encarnación: Where are we going, Ignacio? Nacho: I saw a bum here, there were two bums actually. And I said to myself, "Let's talk to these guys about the Gospel." Sister Encarnación: Well, where are they? Nacho: I don't see them. They should be coming back. [leans against wall and whips head fast] Sister Encarnación: Where is your robe, Ignacio? Nacho: It was... stinky. But these are my recreation clothes. [tightens butt] Sister Encarnación: They look expensive. Nacho: Thank you... [turns toward Sister Encarnación] I mean, yes! They may have the appearance of riches. [kneels down] But beneath the clothes, we find a man. And beneath the man, we find, his... nucleus. Sister Encarnación: Nucleus? Nacho: Yes. Nacho: [in low voice] I don't like the way those guys looked at you. [To bums] Hey! Can't you see this woman's a nun?! And if you have a problem with that, then you can just fight me. Nacho: Oh, you messed with the wrong guy this time! Nacho: Ever seen these moves? [jumps and

Dialogue

Boy: How come we can't ever have just, like, a salad? Nacho: Be grateful, Juan Pablo. Today is especially delicious.

Dialogue

Nacho: Ok. Orphans! Listen to me. Listen to Ignacio. I know it is fun to wrestle. A nice piledrive to the face... or a punch to the face... but you cannot do it. Because it is in the Bible not to wrestle your neighbor. Chancho: So you've never wrestled? Nacho: Me? No. Come on. Don't be crazy. I know the wrestlers get all the fancy ladies, and the clothes, and the free creams and lotions. But my life is good! Really good! I get to wake up every morning, at 5:00 AM, and make some soup! It's the best. I love it. I get to lay in a bed, all by myself, all of my life! That's fantastic! Go. Go away! Read some books!

Dialogue

Guillermo: What is this? Nacho: Leftovers. Enjoy. Guillermo: There is no flavor. There are no spices. Where are the chips? Nacho: Somebody stole them. Guillermo: Did you not tell them that they were the Lord's chips? Nacho: I was trying to... Guillermo: You are useless, Ignacio! Elderly Monk: Silence, brothers! [sighs in frustration] This is the worst lunch I ever had. Guillermo: Your only job is to cook. Do you not realize I have had diarrhea since Easters? Nacho: Ok... Maybe I am not meant for these duties. Cooking duty. Dead guy duty. Maybe it's time for me to get a better duty!

Dialogue

Nacho: [after his robe catches fire and reveals his stretchy pants] Yes! It's true. I am Nacho, the luchador. Monk: Who? Nacho: Maybe you have seen me on TV. [pause] NACHOOOOOOOOOO! Elderly Monk: No! This is forbidden! Guillermo: I knew it. He is not a man of God.

Dialogue

Nacho: I'm a little concerned right now. About your salvation and stuff. How come you have not been baptized? Esqueleto: Because I never got around to it, okay? Esqueleto: I don't know why you always have to be judging me, because I only believe in science. Nacho: [walks over to Esqueleto with bowl filled with water doing Father, Son and Holy Spirit Sign.] But tonight, we're going up against Satan's Cavemen and I thought it would be a good idea if you... [stands next to Esqueleto and pushes his head in the bowl which comes back up quickly] ...PRAISE THE LORD! Felicidades.

Dialogue

Esqueleto: Oooh. Lady: I forgive you. Come here, soldier. Esqueleto: How did you get up here so fast? Lady: Shhh! Secret tunnels. Some people say wrestlers make bad lovers, that they save themselves for the ring. [whispers] I love you. Esqueleto: Huh? Lady: I love you!