Quotes

Sleepers [2.10]

Will Zimmerman: Hey, you know, this would be a lot easier with Henry's help. Helen Magnus: He's unavailable. Will Zimmerman: Why, again? Helen Magnus: [flustered pause] He's... on a mission of utmost importance, I was sworn to absolute secrecy. Will Zimmerman: Wait a second... San Diego Comic Con? That's the mission of utmost importance? Helen Magnus: You did not hear it from me.

Sleepers [2.10]

Nikola Tesla: Wealthy parents ship their drug-addled teenagers to me. They arrive, their poor little bodies wracked by the best designer drugs trust funds can buy - it breaks your heart. But then, after one week of treatment, I send them home to mater and pater completely cured of all addictions. Will Zimmerman: Woah woah woah, one week? That's impossible. Nikola Tesla: Which part of "I am a genius" aren't you getting?

Sleepers [2.10]

Darrin: Look, Chad, I'm starting to get a bad feeling about all this. Chad: What, you're going to bail because of one screw up? Darrin: [pointing to corpse on floor] That's what you call dead Steve?

Sleepers [2.10]

Chad: You know I was hoping you'd be a bit more cooperative. Nikola Tesla: Yeah, well, life's a bitch and then you don't die.

Sleepers [2.10]

Kate Freelander: You call this a plan? Whatever happened to The good old stake through the heart? Will Zimmerman: Doesn’t work. Kate Freelander: What about all those movies, like Buffy… Helen Magnus: Misinformation propaganda. Spread by the vampires themselves— Confuse the enemy, preserve the race. Kate Freelander: What about exposing them to sunlight or garlic? Will Zimmerman: All you get is tanned vampires with bad breath. Helen Magnus: Besides, we don’t want to kill them. We want to help them. Kate Freelander: No, I’m thinking kill them. Will Zimmerman: Yeah. Trust-fund vampires? I’m thinking she’s right. Helen Magnus: Granted, but it wasn’t their choice. They may be rich, spoiled, insolent children, but that doesn’t mean we shouldn’t save them. Helen Magnus: That’s a terrible sales pitch. Kate Freelander: Yeah.

Sleepers [2.10]

So it's just us against a bunch of bad ass bloodsuckin' immortals, huh? Well, it's a good thing we have our magic glass stick that we don't know how to use. Otherwise, I would be worried.

Sleepers [2.10]

Nikola Tesla: Well, well, well, the appetizers have arrived. Helen Magnus: Well this is the last time I come to your rescue!

Sleepers [2.10]

Nikola Tesla: I've often wondered what this moment would be like: me, you, tied up. It's a shame you brought the children. Helen Magnus: Focus, Nikola.

Sleepers [2.10]

Nikola Tesla: I call it... the De-Vamper! Kate Freelander: You're a genius and that is the best name you could come up with? Nikola Tesla: [Points at Kate] Watch it!

Sleepers [2.10]

Nikola Tesla: Forgive me, Helen. It's just my soul-crushing depression talking. I'm not myself. Helen Magnus: On the contrary; you are your real self again: human, mortal- Nikola Tesla: Watch your language. Helen Magnus: I'm sorry, Nikola, but it's true. I've tried everything I can think of. There's simply no way to "re-vamp" you. Nikola Tesla: You see how this puts a crimp in my plans for world domination? Not to say I won't keep trying. Helen Magnus: I would expect nothing less. Nikola Tesla: Very well, if this is to be a wake, then lets do it properly. Join me in a toast: To happier times, to those halcyon times of blood lust, now gone. Plus you got to admit vampires are just plain cool. Helen Magnus: [laughing] Amen. Nikola Tesla: Here's to the glorious vampire race, once mighty, now extinct.

Haunted [2.11]

Kate Freelander: Don’t you guys update your safety equipment? Big Guy: Constantly. Kate Freelander: Yeah? Well then why isn’t anything working? Where’s the disembodied voice saying, “Chill out, help’s coming”? Big Guy: I’m that voice. Kate Freelander: Is help coming? Big Guy: ...No.

Kali (Part 1) [2.12]

Kate Freelander: [badly imitating Will] "We're going on a trip," he says. "It'll be fun!" he says. Will Zimmerman: Please stop talking for two minutes, he says.

Kali (Part 1) [2.12]

Ravi: Body's downstairs. We're ready to start the autopsy. Will Zimmerman: Wow, uh. I am jet lagged. I think I better turn in. But why don't you do the autopsy and we'll go over the results tomorrow? Ravi: I thought he was a doctor? Kate Freelander: He is... just not the kind that likes autopsies.

Trail of Blood [3.4]

We open that door, we get an angry PTA meeting swarming in here.

Trail of Blood [3.4]

[after an explosion] Fortunately, I can't hear what any of you are saying. It's very nice.

For King & Country [3.8]

Henry Foss: No nasty comments, no sarcastic cracks... you okay? Nikola Tesla: [slams drawer] No, I'm not okay. It took me - me, mind you - days to-to crack that holographic piñata up in the library, and then, after several bottles of Chablis, I finally get over my humiliation - and now this shipment of fresh hell arrives! Henry Foss: Okay, find your happy place. Nikola Tesla: I mean, this is technology… that-that I've never seen before, much less imagined, and… to be brutally honest - and I don't want this getting out - I find it rather humbling, and I don't do humble. Henry Foss: Copy that.

Vigilante [3.9]

Nikola Tesla: [with a bottle of wine and two glasses] Drink? Will Zimmerman: No, thanks. Nikola Tesla: Oh, come on. "Shoot Your Employee Day" comes but once a year. Lighten up, you did what you had to do. Magnus woulda done the same thing. Will Zimmerman: Really? You really think so? Nikola Tesla: Oh, absolutely. Magnus has shot me more times than I can count. Will Zimmerman: Yeah, well, that's you. Nikola Tesla: You're right, bad example. The point is, you acted decisively when necessary and, you know, kiddo, keep that up and someday, you're gonna be worth something to this organization. [smiles and Will takes the offered glass]