Quotes

Dialogue

Megamind: Any chance you could give me the time? I don't want to be late for the opening of the Metro Man Museum. Warden: [looks down at watch] Oh, no. Looks like you're gonna miss it... by several thousand years. Megamind: Oh, am I? [chuckle]

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Roxie: Happy Metro Man Day, Metro City. It's a beautiful day in beautiful downcity, where we're here to honor a beautiful man - Metro Man. His heart is an ocean that's inside a bigger ocean. For years, he's been watching us with his super-vision, saving us with his super-strength and caring for us with his super-heart. Now it's our turn to give something back. This is Roxanne Ritchi, reporting live from the dedication of the Metro Man Museum. [gestures to Hal to stop filming] Hal: Wow. Okay, the stuff they make you read on-air, that's un-freaking-believable. It's crazy. Roxie: I wrote that piece myself, Hal. Hal: What I was trying to say was… I can't believe that in our modern society, they let, like, actual art get onto the news. Ritchi: Nice save, Hal. Hal: What are we? Like, let's just get a coffee or something. Roxie: Come on, it's time to get in the Metro Man Day spirit. Hal: Well, if I were Metro Man, Megamind wouldn't be kidnapping you all the time. That's the first thing. Roxie

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Man in crowd: I love you, Metro Man! Metro Man: And I love you, random citizen! Hahaha!

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Roxie: What secrets? You're so predictable. Megamind: Predictable? Predictable?! Oh, you call this predictable?! [pulls a lever that opens up an alligator pool beneath her] Roxie: Your alligators, yes. Mm-hmm. [alligators snap their jaws at her] I was thinking about it on the way over. Megamind: What's this? Boom! [pulls another lever thar reveals a hidden laser gun aiming at the side of Roxie's face] In your face! Roxie: Cliché. Megamind: No, look. Watch [brings down a gauntlet of blades over Roxie's head] Roxie: Juvenile. Megamind: Shock and awe! [brings up a chainsaw to the other side of Roxie's face] Roxie: Tacky. Megamind: OH, IT'S SO SCARY! [unleashes a cycle of spiked boots in terror] Roxie: Seen it. Megamind: [frantic in terror] WHAT'S THIS ONE DO?! [unleashes more weapons] Roxie: Garish! [Megamind looks exhausted] Okay, the spider's new. Megamind: Spider? [A spider hangs in front of Roxie. Minion shrugs at his boss] Uh, yes! The… The spee-ider. Even the smallest bite from "Ara

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Metro Man: Megamind! Megamind: [claps sarcastically] Oh, bravo, Metro Man. Megamind: Boo! Yes, I can play along, too. Boo! Metro Man: I should have known you'd try to crash the party. Megamind: Oh, I intend to do more than crash it. This is a day you and Metrocity shall not soon forget! Metro Man: It's pronounced METRO CITY! [The crowd cheers at him] Megamind: Oh, potato, tomato, potato, tomato. Metro Man: We all know how this ends: with YOU behind bars! [The crowd cheers at him again] Megamind: [looking sarcastically and serious] Oh, I'm shaking in my custom, baby seal leather boots! You will leave Metrocity, or this will be the last you ever hear of… ROXANNE RITCHI! [presses a button to show Roxie on a separate screen] Eh? Metro Man: [whispers dramatically] Roxanne! Don't panic, Roxie! I'm on my way. Roxie: I'm not panicking. Megamind: [smirking] In order to stop me from making a mistake, you need to find me first, Metro Man. Roxie: We're at the abandoned observatory. Metro Man: Aha!

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Megamind: Over here, old friend. In case you have noticed, you haven't fallen right into my trap. Metro Man: You can't trap justice. It's an idea, a belief! Megamind: Well, even the most heartfelt belief can be corroded over time! Metro Man: Justice is a noncorrosive metal! Megamind: But metals can be melted by the heat of revange. Metro Man: It's "revenge", and it's best served cold. Megamind: But it could be easily reheated, in the microwave of evil! Metro Man: Well, I think your warranty is about to expire! Megamind: Maybe I've got an extended warranty! Metro Man: Warranties are invalid if you don't use the product for its intended purpose! Roxie: [groans] Girls, girls! You're both pretty! Can I go home now? Megamind: Of course. That is if Metro Man can extend the full concentrated power of the sun! FIRE!! [The laser doesn't engage. Metro Man glances up boredly before Megamind rolls his eyes and approaches Minion] What's taking so long? Minion: Still warming up, sir. Megamind: Come

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Minion: You did it, sir. Megamind: I did it? Mayor: He did it. Megamind: I did it? Warden: He did it. Minion: You did it, sir! Megamind: I did it! Minion: You did it! Megamind: I did it! Metrocity is mine!

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Minion: "Create a hero"? Wait, what? Why would you do that? Megamind: So I have someone to fight! Minion, I'm a villain without a hero. A yin with no yang, a bullfighter with no bull to fight! In other words: I have no purpose. Go on, ask me how I'm going to do it. Go on, ask! Minion: [sighs] How are you gonna do it? Megamind: I'm going to give someone, I don't know who yet, Metro Man's powers.

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Minion: Sir, I think this is a bad idea. Megamind: Yes, I know, It's a very powerful bad idea for the greater good and bad! Minion: But I'm saying it's the kind of bad that… Okay, you might think it's good from your bad perception, but from a good perception…? It-it's just plain bad. Megamind: Oh, you don't know what's good and bad!

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Megamind: [a ringtone is playing] What on Earth is that? Minion: It seems to be emanating from there, sir. [points at Megamind's back pocket] Megamind: [pulls out the cell phone he found earlier when he dehydrated Bernard from his back pocket and answers it] Ollo. Minion: It's "hello". Megamind: Oh. Hello? Like that? [Minion gives him two thumbs up] Roxie: [on the phone] Bernard, it's Roxanne. Megamind: It's Roxanne! Roxie: I just want to thank you for inspiring me the other day. Megamind: Oh! You inspired me too. Roxie: Great. It's time we stood up to Megamind and show him he can't push us around. Megamind: Oh! Oh, really? She's so cute! Roxie: I'm already hot on his trail. Megamind: Uh-huh, and what gives you that idea? Minion: [nervous] Uh, sir? Roxie: I just found his secret hideout. Megamind: HOW DID SHE FIND MY HIDEOUT?! [recovering] Uh, how did you find his hideout? Roxie: This is the only building in Metro City with a fake observatory on the roof. Megamind: [unsettled] Okay. Th

Dialogue

Megamind: [disguised as Hal's Space Dad, a short man with a white wavy pompadour and speaking with a raspy voice] Rise, my glorious creation. Rise, and come to papa. Hal: What's going on? Megamind: Easy, my child. Hal: Who are you? Megamind: I sent you to this planet to teach you about justice, honor and nobility. I am your father. Hal: So, you're, like, my Space Dad? Megamind: Yeah. I'm your Space Dad. Hal: [to Minion, who's dressed in an apron and a blonde wig] And you are? Minion: I'm your Space Stepmom. I've had some work done recently. Hal: Is this some kind of dream? Megamind: This is a dream come true. You've been blessed with unfathomable powers. Hal: What kind of power? Megamind: Unfathomable. It's without fathom. Hal: Whoa.

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Roxie: Okay, okay. Metro Man and I were never a couple. Megamind: But I thought you two... Roxie: I know, everybody did, it's just... he was never really my type. Megamind: Really? Roxie: Yeah. Okay, now you tell me something. Something you've never told anyone. Megamind: Well, in sh... school, none of the other kids really liked me. I was always the last one picked for everything. Roxie: Mmm, it's too bad that we didn't go to the same school.

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Megamind: [gives present as Hal's "space dad"] Hal, I think you're ready for this. Hal: [pulls out a small costume] Do I have a son? Megamind: No. You make me laugh. It stretches. It's for you. Hal: Hey, what's the "T" stand for? Megamind: Titan. Hal: "Tighten"? What's that supposed to mean? Megamind: It was the only name I could trademark. Hal: Oh. Megamind: Do you have someone special in your life, Hal? Hal: No, not yet. But there's this really, really good-looking one I've got my eye on currently. [uses his super vision to spy on Roxanne] Megamind: That's very good. Romance is very inspiring. Hal: That's what I hear. Megamind: All you have to do is save her and she'll be yours. Minion: Who wants churros? Megamind: I do! Hal: I do, yeah. Megamind: Churros all the way around. Hal: Thanks, Space Stepmom. Megamind: On the count of 3, unsheathe your churro. 1, 2, 3! All: To Titan! Megamind: Tomorrow, you'll fight Megamind and the city will know your name!

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Minion: Well you seem in a very good mood tonight, sir. Megamind: Ha? How long is this going to take, Minion? Minion: Just a few alterations, sir, and I will be done with your most terrifying cape yet! I’m calling it... [dramatically whispering] the Black Mamba! Megamind: Black Mamba. Perfect! [looks at his watch] Ooh, gosh, I am running late. I have to go. Minion: What? Where are you going, sir? We have our debut battle with Titan tomorrow morning. We haven't even tested your big battle suit yet! Megamind: You attend to the details, Minion. I have to... run a quick errand. Minion: [suspicious] You don't run errands. What's going on here? Megamind: What? Minion: Oh, wait a minute! [sniffs him suspiciously] Are you wearing "Jean Paul Gaultier's Pour Homme"? Megamind: It's just my natural musk. Now, where the car keys? Ah! [goes to reach for the keys] Minion: [grabs them] Ah ah-ah-ah! This is about Roxanne Ritchi, isn't it? [nudges Megamind] You're going on a date with her without me! Me

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Roxanne: Are you crazy?! Tighten: I suppose I'm a little crazy... about you! Roxanne: Who are you, really? Tighten: Oh, right! Well, prepared to have your mind blown, little lady... [takes off his mask] Ta-da! Roxanne: Hal?! Tighten: Yeah! Isn't this great? Now there's nothing keeping us apart! Roxanne: No, it's not great. Tighten: Wow! Our first fight. This so us! We're Like an old married couple. Roxanne: Look, there is no "us", okay? There will never be an "us". Tighten: But... I have powers. I have a cape, I'm the good guy! Roxanne: You are a good guy, Hal, but you don't understand. We need to find out why... Tighten: No... This isn't right! Roxanne: Hal, just take a deep breath and listen to me for a moment! Tighten: You're supposed to be with ME! Roxanne: I'm trying to warn you, Hal! Tighten: IT'S TIGHTEN! <big>IT'S TIGHTEN, NOT HAL!!!</big> [flies off, shattering dozens of windows in the process]

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Roxie: Bernard! Megamind: Roxanne! Roxie: Sorry I'm late. Megamind: Wow, your hair looks exciting. Roxanne: Mmmm, not the only exciting development of the night. Megamind has created a new hero, and I know why.

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Megamind: I can explain! What about everything you just said? About judging a book by its cover. Roxie: Well, let's take a look at the contents then, shall we? You destroyed Metro Man, you took over the city, and then... you actually got me to care about you! Why are you so evil? Tricking me? What could you possibly hope to gain? [Megamind looks up at her sadly] Wait a minute. I don't believe this. Do you really think that I would ever be with you? Megamind: No.

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Megamind: This is embarrassing. [storms to Hal's apartment] Of all the inconsiderate, bone-headed, irresponsible, RUDE! Unprofessional, that's what this IS! [punches through the wall to Hal's room] Would Metro Man have kept me waiting?! Of course not! He was a PRO! Hal: [playing video games] Hey, Megamind! You're actually the guy I want to see! Also, there's a door here. Megamind: Do you have any idea how LONG I waited for you?! Hal: No, no, no. I totally understand what you're saying. Could you just... shut out one second. I'm trying to beat this level. Megamind: Were you even planning on showing up? [turns and notices all the items Hal has stolen] What's this? Where did you get all this stuff? Hal: [whispers] It doesn't belong to me. Megamind: You stole it?! Hal: Pretty cool, right? Megamind: No, no, no, no! You're a hero! Hal: Being a hero is for losers. It's work, work, work, 24/7, and for what? I only took the gig to get the girl and it turns out Roxanne doesn't want anything to w

Dialogue

Megamind: Guess what, Buster Brown?! It's made from copper. You're powerless against it. It's the very same metal used to defeat– [Hal's hand, in a fist, punches out through the copper metal] ...Metro Man? Hal: You... should stop comparing me to Metro Man! [throws the copper ball at Megamind, who runs away] You can run, Megamind, but you can't hide! Mayor: We're saved! We're saved! What's your name, new hero? Hal: It's Titan. Mayor: Thank you, thank you. Titan has freed us! Hal: Oh, I wouldn't say "freed". More like "under new management". [flicks the Mayor in the head, sending him flying back as the crowd gasps] Roxie: Ugh! What do you want? Megamind: Titan's turned evil. Roxie: [sarcastically] Well, congratulations, another one of your genius plans has backfired on you. And why did my doorman let you up? [Megamind gives her a dehydrated cube; gasps] Carlos! [tries to shut the door on Megamind] Megamind: Please! Roxanne, no! No! I need your help. Roxie: Why do you need my help? Megami

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Megamind: Wow! I can’t believe he kept all this stuff. [sees a cape with a neck rest attached; sighs] I remember when he wore that. Roxie: Shouldn’t we try to stay focused here? Megamind: Yes, of course, right, focused. Roxie: Hey! Come over and look at this. Megamind: [stumbles over, wearing the neck rest cape] What is it? What did you find? Roxie: Um. Look. This glass has ice cubes in it. Megamind: Yes, that’s what happens when water gets cold. Roxie: No. What I’m saying is: Don’t you think it’s a little odd that the ice hasn’t melted yet? Megamind: One of life’s great mysteries. Metro Man: ...Hey. News Reporter: We now have confirmed reports. Titan, first thought to be the city’s new hero, has turned evil. The city has never seen this level of destruction. If only Metro Man were still alive.

Dialogue

Roxie: [throws a trophy at Metro Man who becomes "Music Man"] How could you do this?! [throws a microphone] The people of this city relied on you... [throws an amplifier at him] ...and you deserted them! [smashes a guitar over his head] You left us in the hands of him! [to Megamind] No offense. Megamind: [hastily] No, I'm with you. [to Metro Man] Look, we need your help. Metro Man: I'm sorry, I really am. Um, I'm... I'm done. You know, little buddy, there's a yin for every yang. If there's bad, good will rise up against it. It's taken me a long time to find my calling. Now, it's about time... you find yours.

Dialogue

Roxie: Hey, who needs him? We can beat Titan ourselves. I say we go back to the evil lair, grab some ray guns, hold 'em sideways and just go all gangsta on him! Megamind: We can't. [drops Metro Man's cape] Roxie: So that's it; you're just giving up?! Megamind: I'm the bad guy. I don't save the day, I don't fly off into the sunset, and I don't get the girl. I'm going home.

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Hal: [on TV] Megamind. [Megamind continues channel surfing until he changes back to Hal on TV] You thought I have unfinished business. I'll be waiting at Metro Tower. Oh, and just so you don't get cold feet… [reveals that Roxanne is captured and tied to an antenna] Megamind: [shocked] Roxanne... Hal: Come on, Roxie. Call for your "hero" to come rescue you. Roxie: Megamind… I don't even know if you're listening, but if you are… you can't give up! The Megamind I know would never run from a fight, even if he knew he had no chance of winning! It was your best quality. You need to be that guy right now! The city needs you! I need you. Megamind: Roxanne… Hal: You have one hour. [glares at the camera] Don't keep me waiting… Megamind: Warden! Warden! Listen to me, you have to Iet me go! Titan has to be stopped! "Warden": Sorry, Megamind, you still have 88 life sentences to go. Plenty of time to reflect on what you've done. Megamind: You want me to say it? I'll say it! Here it is, from the blac

Dialogue

Tighten: [on TV] Hey, Metro losers! This is Metro Tower! They say it's supposed to be a symbol of our city's strength… [shows Roxanne tied to the tower] …But for me it's a reminder of the day, This woman ferociously ripped out my heart, and I hate reminders! [rips out a part of the tower's foundation, swaying it] Roxanne: [weakly] Hal! Please don't do this. I know there's still good in you, Hal. Tighten: I have no choice! I shall rule this universe! You're so naive, Roxie. You see the good in everybody, even when it's not there. You're Iiving a planet. There is no destiny, there is no rulers, and there is no mercy. This is the real world, and you are a traitor to the empire! Megamind: GET AWAY FROM HER, YOU TRAITOR! Giant Megamind head: You dare challenge Megamind?! Tighten: This city isn't far enough for super-villain! Giant Megamind head: Oh, you're a villain, all right! Just not a super one! Tighten: OH, YEAH?! What's the difference?! TO STOP ME?! Megamind: <big>PRESENTATION!</big>

Dialogue

Roxanne: Wait. He searches for the perfect shuttle to create his power of armor. (gasps) The invisible car! Hey, remember that night that I dumped you? Megamind: You’re bringing this up now? Megamind: You did? You did?! Roxanne: Yes! And you should “look back” right now. Megamind: (He looks behind him and spots the car) Oh! I get it! Tighten: This is the last time you make a FOOL OUT OF ME!!!! YOU TURNED HER AGAINST ME!!!! Megamind: I made you a hero, and you have done that yourself! You did the "fool" thing all by yourself! Tighten: TRY AND STOP ME! [punches to force lightning at Megamind towards the invisible car shuttle] You're no match for me, and my new empire! She's so pathetic! No one will stand in my way, Not Roxy, Not you! No one will stop me! What side you're on, you're always the fool! Megamind: You're wrong, Tighten. There's a benefit to losing. You should get to learn from your mistakes. [He enters his invisible car to hide with his diffusion gun, only to find the label sa

Dialogue

Megamind: [voice over] So, this is how it ends. Normally I’d chalk this up to my last glorious failure. Megamind: [voice over] But not today! What can I say? Old habits die hard. Tighten: [angered; about to kill Roxanne] Say bye-bye, Roxy! Megamind: Ollo. Tighten: AAAAAAAAGGGGGGHHHHHHHHH!!!! Megamind: Thing about bad guys, They always LOSE!!!! Minion: We've had a lot of adventures together, you and I have had a vision. Megamind: We have, Minion. Minion: [coughs weakly] I mean, most of them ended in terrible failure, but we won today… didn't we, sir? Megamind: Yes, Minion. We did it, Thank you for saving Roxanne's life. Minion: Code: We're The Good Guys Now. Megamind: Code: I Guess We Are. Minion: Oh! Oh! Oh! I'm going! I think this is it! I'm going far away...! [gasps and passes out] Megamind: [unamused] What do you think? Minion: You know, I'm feeling much better now! Guess I just needed a swim... Megamind: [to Roxanne] He had you going, didn't he? Classic Minion. [to Minion] Don't gi