Quotes

Dialogue

Ted: So, anyway, let's just say, I need a tree. Where would I go? What do I do? Grammy Norma: Oh, then you know what? You'd need to find the Once-ler. Ted: The what? Mrs. Wiggins: Mom, it's not really the time for one of your, you know, magical fables, OK? Grammy Norma: [laughs] That's right, I forgot. I'm old, and can't even remember to put my teeth in! Mrs. Wiggins: Stand down. That's not what I meant. Grammy Norma: No, really, I forgot my teeth. Would you be a dear and go get them for me? [showing her empty teeth] Mrs. Wiggins: [sighs] Sure, Mom. Grammy Norma: [puts on her retainer in secret] OK, here's the deal. The Once-ler's the man who knows what happened to the trees. If you want one, you need to find him.

Dialogue

Once-ler: Who are you? Who are you and what are you doing here?! Ted: I'm Ted. I'm Ted. Oh, I can't breathe. Are you...are you the Once-ler? Oh, man. Once-ler: Didn't you read the signs? No one is supposed to come here! Get out of here and leave me alone! And don't let the boot hit you on the way out! Ted: The boot? [gets kicked by said boot from behind] Whoa, hello! Ow! Listen! People say that if someone brings you this stuff that you will tell them about trees. [gets grabbed again] No, no, no! Once-ler: Trees? Ted: Yeah, real ones. You know, that grow out of the ground? [pause] Hello? Once-ler: Sorry, it's just...Well, I didn't think anyone still cared about trees. Ted: Well, that's me. The guy who still cares. I'm here. [gets put back down] Hey, hey! What? Whoa! The Once-ler: You wanna know about trees, about what happened to them, and why they're all gone? [softly] It's because of me. Ted: Wait, what? Once-ler: [shouts] IT'S BECAUSE OF ME! [Ted coughs] And my invention, the Thneed.

Dialogue

Ted: [interrupting the story] Hey, hey, hey, hey, wait. Wait a minute. Once-ler: Excuse me? Ted: [chuckles] Yeah. That's awesome. You know, feeding junk food to forest animals? That's great. But, uh, is there a musical number where you show me how to get a tree? 'Cause I'd love to hear that one. Once-ler: [sarcastically] Oh, yes. Right after the musical number about the kid who kept interrupting the story and was never heard from again. Mm-hmm. Ted: Right. Got it. Proceed.

Dialogue

The Lorax: [first meeting the Once-ler] Hey! [the Once-ler shrieks and falls backwards] Did you chop down this tree? Once-ler: Uh, no. Who did it? [gasps] What's that?! [the Lorax looks back and Once-ler drops his axe on Pipsqueak the Bar-ba-loot, blaming him] I think he did it. The Lorax: [growls] Leave! Vacate the premises! Take your axe and get out! The Once-ler: And who are you? [pokes the Lorax] The Lorax: Hey, hey! I'm the Lorax, guardian of the forest. I speak for the trees. [the Once-ler stares at him] So you're telling me that you didn't see me magically appear out of that stump, with all the lightning and thunder and stuff. You didn't see any of that? The Once-ler: No, but that sounds amazing. Can I see some of that? The Lorax: Uh, yeah. I could show you, but that's not how it works. The Once-ler: Okay, um...Didn't really happen. Oh, I know what you want! I've got one of these for the cutest little guy I ever saw. Yummy-yummy-yummy... The Lorax: How dare you! Give me that! Mm

Dialogue

The Once-ler: Why are you so interested in trees anyway? Why aren't you like other kids? Break-dancing and wearing bell-bottoms and playing the Donkey Kongs? Ted: [laughs] Yeah. Right, right. I don't know. Uh, I just thought it might be kinda cool to have one, you know. The Once-ler: [knowingly] Aaah, it's a girl, isn't it? Ted: [scoffs] What? No! The Once-ler: Really? 'Cause when a guy does something stupid once, well, that's because he's a guy, but if he does the same stupid thing twice, that's usually to impress some girl. Ted: [about Audrey] Hey, she is not some girlǃ She's a woman...in high school...and she loves trees, and I'm gonna get her one. The Once-ler: Aww. How nice to see someone so undeterred by things like reality. Ted: [sincerely] Thank you. The Once-ler: [has just been revived by the Lorax] I was heading into the light, and you pulled me right back, and here I am! [hugs the Lorax] You saved my life! The Lorax: Yeah, I did, but you know, it's not that big a deal. The O

Dialogue

The Once-ler: Ow! Okay, uh, what are you...? [stops upon noticing that the Bar-ba-loots, Humming Fish, and Swommee-Swans are also sleeping in his house] Question: what are they doing here? And, uh, follow-up, if I may, what are you doing here?! The Lorax: [chuckles embarrassingly] Well, after the incident last night, we found one of your socks and came here to return it, but when we got here, you were asleep. The Once-ler: What? [looks up to see a sleeping Bar-ba-loot drooling down on him] Eww! Exactly, and sleeping is the body's way of telling other people to go away. The Lorax: I know, but you looked so cozy. And it was cold outside, and we just fell asleep. No harm done. The Once-ler: "No harm done", "no harm done"? Ugh, okay. [sees Humming Fish bathing in soap] Okay, I put my lips on those. Well, I used to, anyway. [sees Swommee-Swan laying an egg] Ew. Did you just...in my bowl?! The Lorax: [uses the Once-ler's toothbrush to comb his mustache] Why do you even own this? You don't ha

Dialogue

Teen Boy: Hey. Cool hat. Teen Girl 1: Oh, my gosh. I totally want one. Teen Girl 2: That thing makes me like you more.

Dialogue

Grizelda: What a dump. The Once-ler: Hey, Aunt Grizelda! Brett: Hey, Chet, check this out! Go long! The Once-ler: No, Brett, that’s actually not a… Okay. Brett: Go long! Go long! Chett: I got it! I got it! Got it! Brett: He totally ran into that tree! The Once-ler: Ow! Isabella: Oncie, is that you? The Once-ler: Mom! Isabella: There he is! There’s my big, suddenly successful son! We always knew you would make it, Oncie. Right? Uncle Ubb: Hey! I love this guy! The Once-ler: But you always said I wouldn’t amount to anything, remember? Isabella: Hush your mouth. I was just trying to motivate you! The Once-ler: I am really glad that you clarified that because it actually hurt my feelings for a really long time. Anyway, you’re all here, you all work for me, and that’s cool. So, let’s get to work. Isabella: Brett, Chet, set up the RV! Would you please stop throwing that bear?! The Lorax: Time out. Back up. Stop. Don’t move an inch. Nobody’s moving in here. You got to go. Goodbye. Grizelda: [

Dialogue

The Lorax: So how are things? The Once-ler: What are you doing here? The Lorax: Happy yet? You filled that hole deep down inside you, or do you still need more? The Once-ler: Look, if you've got a problem with what I'm doing, why haven't you used your quote-unquote "powers" to stop me? The Lorax: I told you, that's not how it works. The Once-ler: Right, I forgot - you're a fraud! I need you to get out! Now! The Lorax: Why? Do I make you uncomfortable? Remind you of the promises you made? The man you used to be? The Once-ler: You know what? You can just shut your moustache! [begins inching towards the Lorax, who backs away] My conscience is clear. I have done nothing illegal, I have my rights, and I intend to keep on biggering and biggering, and turning more Truffula trees into Thneeds! And <u>nothing</u> is going to stop me! The Lorax: Well, that's it. The very last one. That may stop you.

Dialogue

Hey, look. I don't want any trouble. And you won't get any. Not from them. Thanks to you and your hackin' and smoggin' and gluppin', they can't live here anymore. So, I'm sending them off. Hopefully, they'll be able to find a better place out there somewhere.

Dialogue

Ted: So, this is really all your fault. You destroyed everything. The Once-ler: [ashamed] Yes. And each day since the Lorax left, I've sat here, regretting everything I've done. Staring at that word, "unless," a-and wondering what it meant. But now I'm thinking... Well, maybe you're the reason why the Lorax left that word there. Ted: [shocked] Me? Why would he leave that for me? The Once-ler: Because <u>unless</u> someone like you cares a whole awful lot, nothing's going to get better. It's not. [sticks his arm out the window and drops a single seed, which Ted catches] The last Truffula seed. You need to plant it, Ted. Ted: Yeah, but... nobody cares about trees anymore! The Once-ler: Then make them care! Plant the seed in the middle of town where everyone can see! Change the way things are. I know it may seem small and insignificant, but it's not what it is. It's about what it can become. That's not just a seed... any more than you're just a boy. Ted: I won't let you down! [drives back

Dialogue

Mrs. Wiggins: Ted, I would like you to meet Mr. O'Hare, the most powerful man in town. Aloysius O'Hare: There he is! Hello, Ted. Ted: [nervously] Uh...Hi. Mrs. Wiggins: Isn't he clever, Mr. O'Hare? He knows his own name and everything. Aloysius O'Hare: You know what I would love right now, Mrs. Wiggins? A delicious cookie. Wonderful. Teddy and I'll stay here and talk. Mrs. Wiggins: Sure, why don't you go ahead and adopt him? I'm just kidding. That was a joke. I was just joking. I'll get your cookie.[leaves] Aloysius O'Hare: I know you have it, Ted. So, let's put an end to this nonsense, shall we? [Ted angrily faces him] Hand it over. Ted: I'm sorry...I don't know what you're talking about. Aloysius O'Hare: Really? Well, then...I guess you wouldn't mind us checking your room. Ted: No, no, no! Aloysius O'Hare: Morty! McGurk! Find the seed! Ted: No, you can't go up there! Guys, this is ridiculous. Stop! Hey! No, you can't come in my room! Aloysius O'Hare: Find it! [barges into Ted's room

Dialogue

Audrey: [to Ted] I could just kiss you right now! Mrs. Wiggins: [stops them] Oop! We don't have time for that! Ted: I dunno, we have a little time. [Audrey and Bernice stare at him] You know what? Let's just go. Let's go. Forget about it.

Dialogue

You done good, Beanpole. You done good. [short pause as he hugs his old friend for a moment, then chuckles, noticing his mustache] By the way, nice mustache.