Patch Adams

Truman Schiff: I thought only I could repel women with that kind of raw efficiency. Dean Walcott: Our job is to rigorously and ruthlessly train the humanity out of you and make you into something better. We're gonna make doctors out of you.

Patch Adams (film), CC BY-SA 4.0

Patch Adams: Last night with Rudy, I connected to another human being. I want more of that. I want to learn about people, help them with their troubles. Dr. Prack: That's what I do. Patch Adams: But you suck at it. You don't even listen to them when they talk. I wanna listen; I wanna really listen. You don't understand. I'm leaving. Dr. Prack: Hunter, if you leave my records will say AMA, that you signed out of this hospital Against Medical Advice. Patch Adams: And mine will say IDGARA: I Don't Give A Rat's Ass. And my name is Patch.

Patch Adams (film), CC BY-SA 4.0

Patch Adams: Excuse me, Beenie. Which way is heaven [due to Beenie's catatonic state, his hand is raised; everyone laughs (except Dr. Prack)] Correct. Beenie, how much taller is Wilt Chamberlain than you? [patients laugh] Rudy: Hey, Beenie, Beenie, Beenie. Where's the ceiling? Bile: Where do the birds fly, Beenie? Patch Adams: How do you say hello to Hitler? Other patient: Beenie, Beenie. How does Hitler say hello? Patch Adams: Beenie, how do you check an elephant for a hernia? [patients laugh] Who can win a staring contest? [points to Beenie] Beenie!! Rudy: Who... who farted? Everyone: [laughing and pointing at Beenie] Patch Adams: Who likes to masturbate? [all patients and "Patch" raise their hands] Beenie, how does a one-armed referee say, "Field goal?"

Patch Adams (film), CC BY-SA 4.0

Joletta: Look here, Judy, another future boss. Patch Adams: Oh, I wouldn't look at it like that. Joletta: You may think I'm exaggerating, but in another five years you'll be so full of yourself you'll have to hang a cup out your ass just to catch the excess.

Patch Adams (film), CC BY-SA 4.0

Arthur Mendelson: [his attorney is expressing concern over him using his land for Patch's free medical clinic] You learn anything about proctology yet? Patch Adams: A little. Arthur Mendelson: Good. Take care of this asshole for me, will you?

Patch Adams (film), CC BY-SA 4.0

Mitch Roman: I don't mean to be rude, but aren't you a little old to be starting medical school? Patch Adams: You know, Babe Ruth was 39 when he joined the Yankees. Mitch Roman: No, he wasn't! Patch Adams: I know. If you have a better example, please tell me. Hi. Patch Adams. Mitch Roman: Mitch Roman. Georgetown University. I was awarded the William F. Thompson Scientific Achievement Award. Patch Adams: Mmm. Emerson Elementary. I once drew a picture of a rabbit that got me two gold stars.

Patch Adams (film), CC BY-SA 4.0