Scott Pilgrim vs. the World

Kim: Where's Knives? Not coming tonight? Scott: No, we broke up. Hey, check it out. I learned the bass line from Final Fantasy II. [strums "Final Fantasy II" bass line.] Kim: Scott, you are the salt of the Earth. Scott: [obliviously] Oh, thanks. Kim: I meant, "Scum of the Earth." Scott: [obliviously] Thanks. Young Neil: You broke up with Knives? Scott: Yeah. But don't worry. Maybe soon, you'll meet my new-new girlfriend. Young Neil: "New-new"? Stephen: Okay. From here on out, no girlfriends or girlfriend talk at practice, whether they're old, new, or new-new. Young Neil: [at the same time as Stephen] New-new. Stephen: We were lucky to survive the last round. It's sudden death now, okay? Scott: Okay. [he and Sex Bob-Omb play "Summertime," but a doorbell ringing interrupts him] [excited] That's for me! That's for me, that's for me. [opens door from Ramona] Hey, you're here. [notices Ramona's hair is blue.] Ramona: Yes, like you said. [Ramona enters and Scott closes the door.] Scott: You

Scott Pilgrim vs. the World, CC BY-SA 4.0

Lucas: Prepare-- [rips off part of set] Prepare to feel the wrath of the League of Evil Exes. Scott: The League of Evil Exes? Lucas: You really don't know about the League? Scott: Um... Lucas: The Seven Evil Exes? Coming to kill you? Controlling the future of Ramona's love life? Scott: No. Lucas: Oh. Well, hey, listen, man. Don't worry about it. Scott: [stunned] Really? Lucas: Yeah. [reaches to help him up] Let's go get a beer. Scott: That's great. Lucas: [punches Scott in the face] BOOM! [laughs] OOH! Scott: You are a pretty good actor. Lucas: I'm going for the Oscar this year. Scott: But are you a pretty good skater? Lucas: I'm more than pretty good, Esé. [pulls his shirt collar down to reveal a double-L tattoo on his chest] I have my own skate company. Scott: But can you do a thingy...on that rail? [indicates railing on a set of steps] Lucas: It's called a grind, bro. Scott: So, can you do a grindy thingy now? Lucas: Are you serious? There are, like, 200 steps, and the rails are gar

Scott Pilgrim vs. the World, CC BY-SA 4.0

Knives: [buying blue hair dye from a drugstore while explaining her situation to Tamara Chen] OH, MY GOD! He's dating a fatass hipster chick! I hate her stupid guts! He only likes her because she's old! She's probably, like, 25! Oh, she's just some fatass white girl, you know?! Tamara Chen: I think you mentioned she was fat. Knives: [preparing to dye her hair] She's got a head start. I mean, I didn't know there was good music until, like, two months ago! Hey, this really burns. Tamara Chen: You should rinse. Knives: [rinsing her hair] When I got this idea, I just thought, "I have to do it!" Tamara Chen: I can't hear anything you're saying. Knives: [looking at her hair in the mirror] Oh, God! I look so...good. Ramona Flowers stole my Scott, but I know how to get him back. Tamara Chen: How?

Scott Pilgrim vs. the World, CC BY-SA 4.0

Todd Ingram: [to Ramona] Hey, Ramona. Ramona: Hey, Todd. Todd: It's been a while. Ramona: Mmm-hmm. Todd: Mmm-hmm? Ramona: [to Scott] I think we should get out of here. Julie: So how was the tour? You guys play with the Pixies? You're like a superstar now. Envy: Yeah, it's, uh, not really something I can put into words. Knives: Um, Envy... [everyone glares at her] I read your blog. Envy: So, Scott and Ramona, eh? Ramona: What of it? Envy: You guys make a cute couple you know. [Todd scoffs] Suit each other. Knives: [pleasurably] You're my role model, Envy. Envy: Ramona, I like your outfit. Affordable? Julie: [interrupts] Envy, I was just gonna say, did you get those jeans in New York? Envy: [stops Julie, not wanting to explode] I'm talking to Ramona right now. Julie: Ramona lived in New York. Envy: Oh, did she? I was just there. Played the Chaos Theater for Gideon. You know him, right? Knives: [gasps in horror and everyone looks at her; to Envy] I've kissed lips that kissed you! Scott: [

Scott Pilgrim vs. the World, CC BY-SA 4.0

Julie: [changing the subject] So, uh, you guys doing anything fun while you're in town? Todd: "Fun"? In Toronto? Envy: Ha! Scott: [angrily] THAT'S IT! [slams fists on table as Envy gasps in horror] YOU COCKY COCK! You'll pay for your crimes against humanity! [lunges to attack Todd but is frozen by psychic energy. Todd, eyes glowing and hair standing on end, levitates Scott into the air] [gasping] My neck. [stunned] Your hair. Envy: Didn't you know? Todd's vegan. Scott: [coughs] Vegan? Todd: [psychically moves couch out of the way] It's not really that big of a deal. [kicks and breaks off part of the brick wall] Scott: No kidding. [coughs and stands up] Anyone can be vegan. Todd: Ovo-lacto-vegetarian, maybe. Scott: Ovo-what? Todd: I partake not in the meat, nor the breastmilk, nor the ovum of any creature with a face. Envy: Short answer: Being vegan just makes you better than most people. Todd: Bingo. [punches Scott and sends him, screaming, leaving a trail of A's high into the air and

Scott Pilgrim vs. the World, CC BY-SA 4.0

Todd: Hey, lovebirds. We have unfinished business, I and he. Scott: "He and me." Todd: Don't you talk to me about grammar. Scott: I dislike you, capisce? Todd: Tell it to the cleaning lady on Monday. Scott: What? Todd: Because you'll be dust by Monday. Scott: [confused] Ummm... Todd: Because you'll be pulverized in two seconds. And the cleaning lady? She cleans up dust. She dusts. Scott: S-so, what's on Monday? Todd: [also confused] Well, 'cause... it's Friday now, she has the weekends off, so... Monday. Right? Envy: [sighs; translating for Todd Ingram] Basically, you can't win this fight, so you're gonna have to give up on this girl, 'cause Todd's gonna kill you. Scott: [offended] You used to be so NICE! [charges toward Todd in slow-mo, but Todd psychically throws Scott through a brick wall.] Stephen: Uh, Scott, we're gonna go to Pizza Pizza for a slice. Call us when you're done. Envy: Oh, he'll be done. Real soon. Todd: [hears a bass note] Sounds like someone wants to get...funky. To

Scott Pilgrim vs. the World, CC BY-SA 4.0