Bean

Jennifer Langley: [sarcastically] You're kidding. David Langley: Come on, it's gonna be great! Let's say there's a chart of the most intelligent people you've ever met in your lives. Well, at number one with the bullet is Dr. Bean. David Langley: Kevin, you know how sometimes you ask me questions that I can't answer. Kevin Langley: Yeah, like "What is an intrauterine device"? David Langley: I think more like "What's the meaning of life?" Kevin Langley: I never asked you that. David Langley: That's fine. It doesn't matter! What I'm saying here is that Dr. Bean is a very remarkable man. [to Jennifer] Hey, for all you know, he could be very cute. [cuts to Bean standing in London raising his eyebrows at the camera and walking off. Cuts back to Jennifer] Jennifer Langley: Come on, the guy's gonna be a creep. All Englishmen are ugly. I just look at Prince Charles and weep. David Langley: Okay, so he's gonna look like Meat Loaf's butt. Jennifer Langley: Yeah, and that's if we get lucky. David

Bean (film), CC BY-SA 4.0

LAX Police Officer 1: Police! Get on him now! Move it! Freeze! LAX Police Officer 1: Move! watch it! Watch it! Everybody, out of the way! LAX Police Officer 1: In pursuit of a 415, man with a gun heading into zone 10, terminal 2. Get the team over here now. LAX Police Officer 1: Get out of the way! Get out of the way! Move it! Move! Move! Move! Police! Coming through! LAX Police Officer 1: Come on, lady! Watch it! Move! LAX Police Officer 1: There he is! There he is! Move! Move! Move! Police! Everyone on the floor! Now! [Everybody lies down on the floor including Bean] Old Woman: Not you, sweetie. Mr. Bean: Oh, right. LAX Police Officer 1: Carefully take out your weapon, holding the butt with two fingers only. Slowly place it on the floor and take three steps back. LAX Police Officer 1: What is this? LAX Police Officer 2: I don't know. Weird. Lieutenant Brutus: Mr. Bean, are you presently on any kind of medication? Mr. Bean: Not that I know of. Lieutenant Brutus: Well, you could certai

Bean (film), CC BY-SA 4.0

David Langley: Well, sir, an unorthodox start; but I never expected things with a man of your caliber to be normal. I must confess, I've never actually read any of your work. Tell me, doctor, what exactly is your position at the gallery? Mr. Bean: I sit in the corner... and look at the paintings. David: Ah! That is brilliant! If only more scholars would do that, just sit and look, not lecture and write and argue, but just sit and look at the paintings themselves. Now that is brilliant. Yeah.

Bean (film), CC BY-SA 4.0

Bernice Schimmel: I genuinely believe that we could get Jon Bon Jovi. David Langley: Jon Bon Jovi? To unveil, "Whistler's Mother"? Bernice Schimmel: Yes. David Langley: [pause a little] I've got nothing against Jon Bon Jovi. The man has had two great hairstyles in the last ten years, which is an achievement not to be sniffed at. But so far as I know, Mr Jovi knows absolutely nothing about 19th-century Impressionism. At least he has not mentioned it in any of his recent songs.

Bean (film), CC BY-SA 4.0

Alison Langley: Hello, Doctor. Mr. Bean: Hello. David Langley: No, no, no, no, Doctor, that is not for the TV, that's for the--

Bean (film), CC BY-SA 4.0

David Langley: [after riding at the Ride of Doom for the first time] Incredible! you set? [David wakes up Bean who was sleeping throughout the ride and gets startled] Lieutenant Brutus: He's a genius, huh? David Langley: That's what they tell me. Lieutenant Brutus: Well, he looks like a fruitcake to me. Are you willing to take responsibility for his actions? Mr. Bean: BOO! David Langley: Ohh! Lieutenant Brutus: Well, you're a braver man than me, and I single-handedly take on gangs armed with AK-47s. Get him outta here. Tell him his is a butt I would dearly love to kick. And the next time, I will.

Bean (film), CC BY-SA 4.0