Ghost Stories

Reiichirou: [to movers] Put that in the back room. Mover: You got it. Reiichirou: The rest of them will be all right. The movers will take care of it. Don't worry. Grandpa: Why you want to live in your dead wife's old house is beyond me. It's sick! You're sick! Satsuki: Wow, Dad! Grandpa's place is so big! Can we go upstairs? Reiichirou: Sure! Just don't bother them. Grandpa: [about his wife beside him] When this bitch kicks, I'm moving to Vegas.

Ghost Stories, CC BY-SA 4.0

Hajime: Ooh, white panties. Yo. My name's Hajime. You're the new transfer student, aren't ya? Satsuki: Yes, but it's none of your business. I guess you're the new pervert? Hajime: [indignantly] Whatever! I was here first, you know! Listen, you flashed me. Remember that! Reiichirou: Satsuki! Keiichiro! Help me with your mother, will ya? Satsuki and Keiichiro: Okay! Reiichiro: Just grab her picture. Hajime: [ponders] So, she doesn't have a mother. Sad.

Ghost Stories, CC BY-SA 4.0

Satsuki: What are you doing? Quit following us! Amanojaku: You two morons are just walking in front of me. Watch for dogs. Satsuki: Go home. We're going to school. Amanojaku: Sounds good. I don't have anything better to do. Satsuki: You're a cat now, stupid. Amanojaku: For your information, I've been haunting that school before you two blew into town. Keiichiro: I think he's got a point. Satsuki: Don't take his side, if you know what's good for you. I can't believe our sweet precious cat is now possessed by a Keebler elf reject. With bad gas. Amanojaku: That'll teach you to make fun of me. The Lord Amanojaku. Leo: [coming from behind, with Hajime] This is fascinating! Even though he's trapped in a cat's body, he still possesses ghostly powers. Kinda like David Blaine. Satsuki: Save it for the science fair. Leo: You're just jealous of my psychical research. You know what Harvard's president said about girls and science. Hajime: You may know about science, but you don't know diddly about

Ghost Stories, CC BY-SA 4.0

I'm too young to die. The only person I've had sex with is my babysitter.

Ghost Stories, CC BY-SA 4.0

Satsuki: I guess the school fine arts festival's not gonna happen. Leo: I can't believe it. And I stayed up all night working on my costume and props. [shows his handiwork] Momoko: Oh, my. What a gifted seamstress. I hope you're not a homosexual. Leo: A Jew who can act and sew, so obviously I'm gay. I'm not gay, you born-again homophobe halfwit!

Ghost Stories, CC BY-SA 4.0

Spiritual Sleep Spell: Kutabe! Kutabe! Kick the bucket! Kutabe! Kutabe! You can suck it! Keiichiro: Kutabe! Kutabe...! Oh, are we done?

Ghost Stories, CC BY-SA 4.0