Quotes

Other

Ned: I love the smell of hot dogs in the evening. Smells like... hot dogs. Edie: She's not just heterosexual, she's barbie heterosexual!

Dialogue

H: Heck, I've got a question. Tessa: Not now. Heck: What's the question, H? H: What happens when an unstoppable force meets an immovable object? Heck: [thinks for a few seconds] I haven't got a bastard clue, I'm afraid. Tessa: There you are, you see. Now we can let him get married in peace. Luce: [Catches H before Tessa can take her away completely] It never happens. If there's a thing that can't be stopped, it's not possible for there to be something else which can't be moved, and vice versa. They can't both exist. You see, it's a trick question is the answer. H: [as Tessa leads her to the church] Can she sit with me?

Dialogue

Luce: What's your name, anyway? H: Everyone calls me "H.' They tell me it's short for Henrietta, but it's not. It's short for Jesus "H" Christ. That's what my mummy said when she found out she was pregnant with me.

Dialogue

Coop: [Standing at the altar with Heck] I fancy that flower girl. Heck: [Craning around to see if Rachel's coming] Yeah, yeah, I know you do. Coop: She likes me, right? I got a vibe that she likes me. Heck: Coop, it's my wedding day. Can we talk about me? Coop: Sure, yes. Coop: Did you get the vibe that she likes me?

Dialogue

Luce: [Has come for a glass of punch, but finds Rachel blocking the way] What, is something wrong? I'm here to help. Rachel: My ring. I was getting some of this punch crap and... Luce: Your wedding ring? Rachel: It fell off. Off and in there. My wedding ring is in there. Luce: And you tried the ladle? Rachel: Nothing. Luce: And you can't empty... Rachel: No. Luce: No, it's too big. Right. Only one thing to do. Cover me. Rachel: What? Luce: Use the dress. Luce: I'm going in. Rachel: You can't just... Rachel: Oh, yes, really, you can.

Dialogue

Edie: You need a love life. Luce: I have a like life. It suits me fine.

Dialogue

Heck: So, what about you? Are you married? Ever been married, ever going to get married? Luce: No. No. Maybe now that the law's changed. Heck: How do you mean? Luce: Well, I'm gay. Heck: [chuckles, then realizes that it's not a joke] Mmm...lovely...well done.

Dialogue

Rachel: [about Luce] She's gay... Heck: As a tennis player.

Dialogue

Coop: I'm 29 years old. Heck: You're 31. Coop: Precisely my point. I'm getting older. And I see you... I see what you've got with... I can see that stability. And the trust, and permanence. And I think... God, I'm glad I'm not you.

Dialogue

Coop: Fuck me if I'm wrong, but I think you want to kiss me. Luce: It's not going to happen.

Dialogue

Heck: [Rachel and Heck are having breakfast in bed] I like this jam. It's really good jam. I should make jam. I could, you know. Rachel: 'Course you could. Heck: You don't think I could. Rachel: Not for a second. Heck: Anyway, I was talking to Rob yesterday. Rachel: That man's an ass. Heck: That man is an ass. But he's got this really sweet girlfriend. God knows what she found to love about him, but she does. He cheats on her like a nutter. Heck: Oh, come back to bed. Rachel: I'm up now. Does she know? Heck: Well, I'm like, 'If you want to leave, tell her.' Are you really up? Rachel: I really am. Maybe he doesn't want to leave. Maybe he doesn't know what he wants. Heck: Anyway, he should figure it out before someone gets hurt... Why are you looking at me? Rachel: 'Cause you're a good person. Heck: You wait till I make jam. Then I'll rock your world.

Dialogue

Rachel: Do you guys believe in love at first sight? Zina: Well, it saves time. Rachel: No, really, that you could meet someone, or just... across a room, and with that one glance you could look in their eyes and see their soul. Do you believe that could happen? Beth: [long pause, takes a breath] No. Zina: Absolutely not. Rachel: No, me neither.

Dialogue

Heck: [after finding that Rachel has a lesbian porn film] It's porn, right? It's degrading. It's offensive. Rachel: God yes. Heck: Yeah. Let's watch it anyway. Come on, Rach, I mean, things have been getting slack in that department recently. I know it's my fault, and it's... yeah. Rachel: No, it's mine... I... uh... but I don't want to watch this. Heck: [sadly] Why not? Rachel: It doesn't turn me on. Heck: Makes one of us.

Dialogue

Heck: Edie, are you gay? Edie: Am I gay? [laughs] I'm ecstatic!

Dialogue

Rachel: What does the lily mean? Luce: The lily means... [pause] The lily means, "I dare you to love me".

Dialogue

Luce: Hi! Rachel: No! No! You're not happy to see me! You can't! I don't want you to be happy to see me!

Dialogue

Okay. So do you see? You have to see. I, I can't do this. I can't actually do this. So whatever it is, or was, it's got to stop, and it's got to stop now, do you understand? It's over.

Dialogue

Luce: OW! OW! Rachel: [Getting off her] What is it? What? Luce: Thorns! Thorns! In my bum! Ow!

Dialogue

Rachel: I can't... Luce: I know.

Dialogue

Luce: Don't forget me. Rachel: I won't remember anything else.

Dialogue

Ella: [Coming into room dressed to go out, and seeing Luce looking rather dejected sitting on the couch] Sweet shit in a bucket. What's wrong with you? Luce: I met this girl... but she's with someone else Ella: Does she love you? Luce: I don't know... no... [nods head] yes... but it doesn't matter. Ella: [gently caresses Luce's face] Oh... it's all that matters.

Dialogue

Luce: [surprised] Coop! Coop: It is you, isn't it? Luce: What are you talking about? Coop: I wasn't sure when he told me, but I knew. Luce: What did he say? Coop: Tell me it isn't true, girl! Coop: Dumb slut! Luce: Don't start, Coop. Coop: Don't start? Her husband. Her flickin' husband calls me in the middle of the night. And you want to know how he was? He was busted. Luce: Coop, just get out! Coop: What was that you said? What was that? About how you shouldn't bust in on another couple's marriage? Coop: Stuck to that one good, didn't you?

Dialogue

Heck: It's not you leaving that's going to kill me. It's you loving someone more. Rachel: No. You're not walking away. Don't... don't walk away from me. Heck: Yeah keep saying that. Pretend this is my choice. Rachel: What do you MEAN? Heck: Oh come on Rachel. We both know you'd have left me in the end. Rachel: That's not true. Heck: YES IT IS! [quieter] Yes it is. I want you to be happy. More than anything else I wanted to be the cause of happiness in you. But if I'm not, then I can't stand in the way, you see? Because what you're feeling now, Rachel, is the unstoppable force. Which means that I've got to move.

Dialogue

Ned: So, who's the lucky chap? What's his name? Rachel: Her name... is Luce. Tessa: Luce? As in a woman? As are you a woman? So you mean you two are lesbifriends? Rachel: It doesn't matter what you call it, it's not going to happen.

Dialogue

Luce: How do you feel? Ella: Oh. Um. Well you know when you're holding a hot cup of coffee and you realize you're going to sneeze? That's how I feel.