I Heart Huckabees

Vivian Jaffe: Have you ever transcended space and time? Albert Markovski: Yes. No. Uh...time, not space. No, I have no idea what you're talking about.

I Heart Huckabees, CC BY-SA 4.0

Albert Markovski: The interconnection thing is definitely for real. Tommy Corn: It is! I didn't think it wasn't! It is! Albert Markovski: I know, I can't believe it, it's so fantastic! Tommy Corn: It's amazing! Albert Markovski: I know. Tommy Corn: But it's also nothing special Albert Markovski: Yeah, because it grows from the manure of human troubles.

I Heart Huckabees, CC BY-SA 4.0

Mr. Hooten: What happened to the cat, Albert? Albert Markovski: [alarmed] How'd you know about my cat? Mr. Hooten: The cat was killed by curiosity. Albert Markovski: Oh, that cat.

I Heart Huckabees, CC BY-SA 4.0

Mrs. Hooten: Albert, what brought you to the philosophical club? Albert Markovski: You mean the existential detectives? Mr. Hooten: Sounds like a support group. Cricket: Why can't he use the church? Mrs. Hooten: Sometimes people have additional questions to be answered. Cricket: Like what?

I Heart Huckabees, CC BY-SA 4.0

Tommy Corn: What are you doing tomorrow? Albert Markovski: I was thinking about chaining myself to a bulldozer. Do you want to come? Tommy Corn: What time? Albert Markovski: Mm... one, one-thirty. Tommy Corn: Sounds good. Should I bring my own chains? Albert Markovski: We always do.

I Heart Huckabees, CC BY-SA 4.0

Vivian Jaffe: Why don't you just tell me what your situation is? Albert Markovski: Look, I'm not really sure I know exactly what you guys do around here, all right? Vivian Jaffe: Well, we'll investigate and solve your case. Albert Markovski: How? Vivian Jaffe: If you sign a contract we'll follow you. Albert Markovski: You'll spy? Vivian Jaffe: Yes. Vivian Jaffe: Yes. Albert Markovski: Will you be spying on me in the bathroom? Vivian Jaffe: Yes. Albert Markovski: In the bathroom? Vivian Jaffe: Yes. Albert Markovski: Why? Vivian Jaffe: There's nothing too small. You know when police find the slightest piece of DNA and build a case on it? If we might see you floss or masturbate that could be the key to your entire reality.

I Heart Huckabees, CC BY-SA 4.0