Monk, season 2

Capt. Stottlemeyer: Well, I guess this is your worst nightmare, a crime scene on a rooftop. Monk: No, it's not my worst nightmare. It's my fourth worst. No, wait, fifth. No, fourth. Fourth or fifth, I didn't bring the list with me.

Monk (season 2), CC BY-SA 4.0

[Repeating Derek Philby's words back to him] Q.E.D. Quod erat demonstratum. "Thus it is proven".

Monk (season 2), CC BY-SA 4.0

Monk: Used to be. Um... I'm a private consultant now, and, uh... I'm just helping the department with their friendship group. Derek Philby: Excuse me, what are you doing? Monk: Oh - um... just making them even. Derek Philby: [Highly amused at the little display] But you're mixing the regular with the decaf! Monk: But they're even. Derek Philby: But they're mixed together! Monk: But they're - they're even. Derek Philby: But they're mixed together. Monk: But they're even... Derek Philby: But they're mixed together. Monk: But they're even...

Monk (season 2), CC BY-SA 4.0

Monk: What am I going to eat and drink? Sharona: Adrian, they have food and water in Mexico. Monk: Answer the question! What am I going to eat and drink!?

Monk (season 2), CC BY-SA 4.0

Capt. Stottlemeyer: I want a full-dress funeral, white gloves and black armbands, twenty-one gun salute. I want the governor there, and I want the mayor to give a eulogy... Lt. Disher: Monk wasn't on active duty, sir. We can't go full-dress... Capt. Stottlemeyer: Adrian Monk is to be buried with honors, or I quit! Let me tell you something, Lieutenant, and I'm not afraid to say this: I loved that man. Capt. Stottlemeyer: [Answers] Stottlemeyer... yes. Yes, I understand. [hangs up] Adrian Monk is alive. I HATE THAT MAN!

Monk (season 2), CC BY-SA 4.0

Lt. Plato: Maybe you come back alone, you can earn some more necklaces. Sharona: Why does everybody keep mentioning my necklaces? Lt. Plato: They are fiesta beads. Sharona: What are fiesta beads? Lt. Plato: You don't remember how you got them? Sharona: Ahh, no. Lt. Plato: Guys give them to girls... at parties. Sharona: Oh, what for? Sharona: [Gasps] Oh my God, why didn't you tell me?! Lt. Plato: You wore them so... proudly!

Monk (season 2), CC BY-SA 4.0