Stardust Memories

[to Bates] Will you autograph my left breast?

Stardust Memories, CC BY-SA 4.0

Dorrie: That aftershave. It just made my whole childhood come back with a sudden Proustian rush. Sandy Bates: Yeah? That's 'cause I'm wearing Proustian Rush by Chanel. It's-it's reduced. I got a vat of it.

Stardust Memories, CC BY-SA 4.0

Fan: Can I talk to you about an idea for a film I have? Sandy Bates: This is not the place. Fan: Do you have a moment, please? It's a comedy based on that whole Guyana mass suicide.

Stardust Memories, CC BY-SA 4.0

Fan: My mother buys meat in the same butcher shop your mother does. Sandy Bates: Oh, great. Fan: Can I have your autograph? Sandy Bates: Oh, jeez. Fan: Could you just write: "To Phyllis Weinstein, you unfaithful, lying bitch."

Stardust Memories, CC BY-SA 4.0

Sandy Bates: Shouldn't I stop making movies and do something that counts, like-like helping blind people or becoming a missionary or something? Martian: Let me tell you, you're not the missionary type. You'd never last. And-and incidentally, you're also not Superman; you're a comedian. You want to do mankind a real service? Tell funnier jokes.

Stardust Memories, CC BY-SA 4.0

Vivian Orkin: In this film, he played the part of God. Ghost of Sandy Bates: This was not easy, folks, because, uh, you know, I-I-I didn't know what the hell I was doing, and I don't have a good voice for God. Vivian Orkin: And he received an Academy Award for his convincing portrayal of God... although they had to use another actor's voice.

Stardust Memories, CC BY-SA 4.0