Quotes

Dialogue

Heather: [walking up to Josh's car to greet him] Hey there! It's Mr. Punctuality! How the hell are ya this morning? Josh: [getting out of car] Tired.

Dialogue

Heather: [pointing the video camera at Mike's chest] It's warm out today so this is the first time that we're seeing Mike's chest. It's really hard to pick up on video actually. Mike has really sporadic hair patterns on his chest. It's like: blank...hairy...blank...hairy. Mike: You should see my ass.

Dialogue

Heather: [slowly zooming in on it] What could have killed this mouse? Could it be the Blair Witch? Mike: [offscreen] How about God?

Dialogue

Mike: What bugs me out is that we're so damn deep in the woods, and people are gonna try and come out here and mess with us, then they gotta have something wrong with them, and I'm not gonna play with that. Heather: But how do we know it was people? Mike: Well, even if it wasn't, I'm not gonna play with that either!

Dialogue

Heather: Woke up this morning, just like two seconds ago, and there are piles of rocks outside of our tent. There are three, actually. Josh: Are you seriously fucking positive those weren't there when we set up camp last night? Heather: I am seriously fucking positive these were not here. How would we've, like, just made a campsite in between three piles of rocks, just by coincidence?

Dialogue

Josh: I heard two noises coming from two separate areas of space over there. One of them could have been an owl, but the other one sounded like a cackling. Heather: No way! Josh: Yeah, it was like a serious cackling. Heather: See, my problem is that I sleep like a fucking rock. Mike: If I heard a cackling, I would have shit in my pants!

Dialogue

Josh: Screw that, you think you guys are heroes for killing innocent people? Mike: Well, maybe if the people in our country stopped eating donuts, and started realizing what our government is doing to the world, assholes like them, wouldn't even exist!

Dialogue

Mike: [laughing] You know what? I kicked the fu...I'm sorry it's fucked up. It's fucked up but I kicked that fucking map into the creek yesterday! It was useless! I kicked that fucker into the creek! [laughs hysterically] Heather: [shocked] I fucking hope he's kidding. Mike: [still laughing mad] WAHOO! WOW! Josh: [also shocked] Mike... Mike: [laughing] Holy shit. Heather: I really fucking hope he's kidding. Josh: Mike, are you kidding? Heather: I really fucking hope he's kidding. Josh: [angry] Mike, are you fucking kidding? Mike: [laughing] I'm sorry, man. Heather: You have gotta be kidding me. You have gotta fucking be kidding me! Josh: Is this some fucking game?! [shoves Mike] Mike: [stops laughing] Get the fuck off me, man! Heather: WHAT THE FUCK?! ARE YOU OUTTA YOUR FUCKING MIND?!?! Mike: No I'm not outta my mind! The map wasn't doing shit all day! Heather: [to Mike] DO YOU REALIZE - [to Josh] NOT TO YOU - [to Mike] BUT I KNEW WHAT THE FUCK THAT MAP SAID!!! Mike: I'm sorry! Heather

Dialogue

Heather: Whose shit was thrown around? Whose, specifically? Josh: It's my shit! Heather: Why you? Mike: Let's go, let's go. [shouting] Are you not scared enough?! Heather: But why you?

Dialogue

Heather: How's east? Mike: East? Heather: Yeah, we've been going south all this time. How's east? Mike: Wicked Witch of the West, Wicked Witch of the East. Which one was bad? Heather: Wicked Witch of the West was the bad one. Mike: Then we should go east.

Dialogue

Mike: That's the tree we crossed! That tree's down! Same one! [walks to the log site] OH, GOD!!! Heather: [shocked] Oh, no... Mike: [freaking out] YOU GOTTA BE KIDDING ME!!! THIS IS A JOKE!!! Heather: Oh, no... Mike: THIS IS NOT FUNNY!!! Heather: Mike, just please stop...please, please stop... Mike: AUGH!!! NO!!! Heather: It's not the same log, Mike. It's not the same log. Mike: SAME LOG!!! Heather: Look, it's not! Mike: IT IS!!! OPEN YOUR EYES!!! Heather: It's not the same log. [looks at the log] It's not...it's not the same log... [starts crying quietly as Mike and Josh yells furiously] It's the same log. Josh: FUCK!!! YOU!!! GOD!!! Heather: [attempts to calm herself down] It's the same log. Okay. It's okay. It's okay...Okay... [later, at noon] Where do you want to go to camp? I guess that south didn't work, so tomorrow, we'll go east. I don't know what to say, Josh. Josh: How the fuck did we wind up in the same fucking place...? Heather: We walked south all day! Okay?! We've walked

Dialogue

Heather: Do you just expect me to do something or say something? What do you want me to do, Josh? Josh? Josh: I wanna make movies, Heather. Isn't that what we're here to do? Just to make some movies. Heather: [angrily upset] Fuck you. Fuck you. Really. Fuck you.

Dialogue

Josh: [to the crying Heather] Okay, here's your motivation. You're lost, you're angry in the woods, and no one is here to help you. There's a witch, and she keeps leaving shit outside your door. There's no one here to help you! She left little trinkets, you took one of them, she ran after us. There's no one here to help you! Mike: Josh, stop! Josh: [ignoring Mike; still shouting at Heather] We walked for 15 hours today, we ended up in the same place! There's no one here to help you! THAT'S your motivation! Heather: [crying] Josh, please! Josh: THAT'S YOUR MOTIVATION!

Dialogue

Mike: What are some of your favorite things to do? Heather: [laughs mirthlessly] Well, on Sundays I used to like to go hiking, but now...

Dialogue

Heather: Whatever it is, it knows that Josh is gone. Mike: If that was Josh, he would've said where he was. Heather: [whispering] Whoever it was sounded like Josh.