The Madness of King George

George III: The son is unwholesome. Queen Charlotte: And fatter, always fatter. George III: Fatter because he is not doing, what, what? Do you know England, sir? George IV: I think so, sir. George III: You know, Brighton, Bath, yes. But you know its mills and manufactories? Do you know its farms? Because I do. Do you know what they call me? George IV: What do they call you, sir? George III: Farmer George. Do you know what that is? George IV: Impertinent, sir? George III: No, sir, love! Queen Charlotte: Affection. George III: It is admiration, sir. You ought to marry, sir, settle down. Queen Charlotte: Yes, grow up. George III: Good plain woman. That's what you want. Queen Charlotte: Yeah. George III: Then the people will love you, sir, as they love me. It is not good, this idleness. That is why you're getting fat, sir. Do not be fat, sir. Fight it, fight it!

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Margaret Nicholson: I have a property due to me from the Crown of England! George III: The poor creature's mad. [hands the blank petition to the soldier] No, no, no, no, no. Do not hurt her. She has not hurt me. Margaret Nicholson: Give me my property, or the country will be drenched in blood! George III: Will it, indeed, madam? [gently exposes the fruit knife] Well, not with this. It's a fruit knife. Wouldn't cut a cabbage. [turns to Captain Greville] Ah. Who are you, sir? Soldier: Oh, this is Captain Greville, sir, the new equerry. George III: Well, you are undressed, sir. Do yourself up, sir. You're an equerry, not a scarecrow. Margaret Nicholson: I have a property due to me from the Crown of England. Queen Charlotte: You murderous fiend! Thank God I have you yet. George III: Do not fuss, madam. The King has no wound, just a torn waistcoat. George IV: One would consider that almost as vexing. George III: What was that? George III: I was rejoicing, sir, that you are unharmed. Queen C

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George III: [signing a document] Married yet, Mr. Pitt, what what? William Pitt: No, sir. George III: [blows excess pounce off document] Got your eye on anybody then, hey? William Pitt: No, sir. George III: [holding out the document, which Pitt retrieves while handing the king another one] A man should marry - yes, yes. [Pitt looks at the new document] Best thing I ever did. And children, you see, children. Great comfort, of course. [indicates the paper] This fellow we're putting in as professor at Oxford - was his father Canon of Westminster? William Pitt: I've no idea, sir. George III: Yes! Yes. Phillips. That's the father, this is the son. And the daughter married the organist at Norwich Cathedral. Sharpe. Yes, and their son is the painter. And the other son is a master at Eton. And he married somebody's niece. William Pitt: Your Majesty's knowledge of even the lowliest of your appointments never ceases to astonish me. [George III laughs as he signs the document]

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George III: And what brings you to Windsor, sire? George IV: I had heard Your Majesty was indisposed, but I see that... George III: Indisposed. George IV: Is there any way I can assist? George III: Want to hump the old bird out of the nest, is that it? George IV: No, sir. There may be responsibilities that I could share. George III: Want to get your fat hands on government, is that it? Well, I'm old and infirm. I'll not trouble you long. George IV: I wish you the best of health, Father. George III: Wish me? Wish me? You wish me death, you plump little cuckoo! George IV: Hush, Father, hush. George III: Hush? [stands up from the chair] HUSH?! [angrily takes off the powdered wig in front of the crowd and the orchestra] You dare to stop the King of England from speaking his mind?! You powdered puppy! [throws the powdered wig and chases George IV across the room] George IV: Papa! Papa, please! Papa, please! Papa! For God's sake, do something! Do something! No, Papa! George III: [grabs Georg

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Queen Charlotte: [storms into the chamber] TYRANT!! [angrily advances towards and slaps George IV across the face] George IV: Assaulted by both one's parents in the same evening. What is this life coming to? Queen Charlotte: I was told it would be so. In England, always the prince hates the king. George IV: Is that why he is mad? Queen Charlotte: If he's mad, sir, you've made him so by your idleness. George IV: If I'm idle, madam, it's because the King gives me nothing to do. Queen Charlotte: Do? What do I do. I support him. I have his children, 15 of them! George IV: Then you should be grateful to me for giving you a breathing space. No, a breeding space. [chuckles] I'm sorry. That really is awfully funny. [he and the Royal staff laugh with howls of laughter] Queen Charlotte: George. No, George, please. Please let me stay with him. Please. George IV: No, madam. Queen Charlotte: On what authority? George IV: Medical authority, ma'am. On the authority of a son, ma'am, who cares for his

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Charles James Fox: Thank you. Thank you, gentlemen, for your support. [to George IV] Sir, I must vote. George IV: Charles, for the life of me, I can't see why they need to vote. The King is incapable. We know it and they know it. Charles James Fox: Sir, these are the nation's representatives. Now, some of them come to Parliament in the hope that they might serve their country. But most of them, being human, are here to fill their pockets. Pitt and your father have done them very well: pensions, places, bribes. Now, once it is plain that Pitt is finished and there is no more swill in the trough, Your Royal Highness will be made Regent. Sir, I must join the line.

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