The Muppets

Sorry. I was super excited.

The Muppets (film), CC BY-SA 4.0

Kermit the Frog: I just thought maybe we could raise the money to buy the theater back if we all got together and put on one last show. Fozzie Bear: A show? But I've spent years building a solo career! I have a whole new show-biz family that loves me-- Miss Poogy: [opens the door] Fozzie! WHAT THE HECK ARE YOU DOING, HIBERNATIN'?! NEXT SHOW STARTS IN 30 SECONDS! We hired you, and WE CAN FIRE YOU, SO GET YOUR BUTT IN HERE NOW! [slams the door] Fozzie Bear: [to Kermit] They terrify me. Let's go.

The Muppets (film), CC BY-SA 4.0

Animal: In control. Jack Black: Good. I'm Animal's court-appointed sponsor. We don't use the D-R-U-M word. It's his trigger word. Kermit the Frog: His "trigger word"? Gary: Excuse me, Mr. Black. I'm so sorry to interrupt, but it's very important that these guys get their drummer-- [Jack Black punches Gary] Walter: Gary! Jack Black: It's my trigger word, too. Moderator: Jack, we talked about this on Tuesday. Jack Black: [Growling]: Tuesday's another one of my TRIGGER WORDS! [punches a classmate] Moderator: I DON'T THINK SO! [punches Jack Black] Sorry.

The Muppets (film), CC BY-SA 4.0

Welcome to this week's edition of "Everything Stinks"! [the other Muppets pull him offscreen with a hooked cane, Vaudeville style]

The Muppets (film), CC BY-SA 4.0

Kermit the Frog: Piggy, last time we were together, I said some things I regret. Miss Piggy: No, no, Kermit. You were just being honest. You never intended to marry me. Not even after I built us a house where we could raise tadpoles and grow old together. Kermit the Frog: Well, who do you think's been looking after that house all these years, huh? Piggy, why do you always have to be so overdramatic about things? You know, it leaves me no choice but to do things that hurt you. Miss Piggy: I am who I am. Why can't you accept that about me? Kermit the Frog: Look, this is not about you and me. Miss Piggy: It's never about you and me, is it? It's always we. We this, we that. "We" need you. You can't even say "I need you", can you? Kermit the Frog: Piggy... Miss Piggy: I'm sorry, Kermit, but I have a life here. A life I've made for myself. Kermit the Frog: Piggy! Miss Piggy: Just remember, Kermit, I cannot be replaced.

The Muppets (film), CC BY-SA 4.0

Kermit the Frog: Welcome back, everyone. Well, I know the old place is not quite at its best right now. Floyd Pepper: Yeah! Who cancelled the maid service? [laughs] Kermit the Frog: But don't worry. We'll be fine.

The Muppets (film), CC BY-SA 4.0