Quotes

Dialogue

Alan Reed: Bob, at some point we're gonna have to call the Vice President. Bob Alexander: Don't call the Vice President. Alan Reed: What? Bob Alexander: Just don't call him, Al. Alan Reed: The guy's in a coma, Bob. Bob Alexander: I don't give a shit. Alan Reed: Bob. Bob Alexander: This is mine, Alan. All mine. I made him, I built him. And no Boy Scout is going to come in here and take it away from me, just because he happens to be Vice President of the United States.

Dialogue

Dave: She hates Me. Alan Reed & Bob Alexander: Yes!

Dialogue

Dave: So uh your job is to protect the president all the time, that's that's your whole job Right? Duane: Yes. Dave: Do you have a gun? Duane: Yes. Dave: You ever use it? Duane: Not yet. Dave: You know, I've always wondered about you guys. You know, about how you're trained to take a bullet for the president? Duane: What about it? Dave: Is that really true? I mean, would you let yourself be killed to save his life? Duane: Certainly. Dave: So, now that means you'd get killed for me too.

Dialogue

Dave: [reviewing the budget] According to the OMB, we have seventeen defense contractors who are delinquent in their contracts. Is this true, Frank? Director of OMB: Uh, I believe so, yes. Dave: So, even though they're late, we keep paying them on time? Director of OMB: Well, in a sense... [glances at the cameras] Yeah.

Dialogue

Dave: I don't want to tell some eight-year-old kid he's gotta sleep in the street because we want people to feel better about their car. Do you want to tell them that? Secretary of Commerce: No, sir. No, I sure don't.

Dialogue

Bob Alexander: I'm going to kill him. Alan Reed: You can't kill a President. Bob Alexander: He's not a President. He's an ordinary person. I can kill an ordinary person. Alan Reed: Bob. Bob Alexander: I can kill a hundred ordinary people.

Dialogue

Bob Alexander: What do you think you're doing? Dave: What? Oh, you mean the press conference. I had a couple of ideas that I wanted to share with the country. Bob Alexander: Share? Share? You don't call a press conference. I call a press conference. You're nothing. Do you understand? You're nobody. Dave: I'm not nobody. Bob Alexander: You're LINT! You're a FLEA! You're a BLIP! Dave: Well... maybe I am. But you're fired.

Dialogue

Ellen Mitchell: [after Dave reveals his true identity to Ellen] So, what do you do for a living? Dave: You mean, when I'm not running the country? Ellen Mitchell: Yeah. Dave: I run a temp agency. You know, secretaries and stuff. Ellen Mitchell: You mean you find people jobs? Dave: Yes. Dave: What? What's so funny? Ellen Mitchell: It's just, that's more than most people do around here.