Scrooged

Ghost of Christmas Past: [after driving harmlessly through a van] GO BACK TO JERSEY, YA MORON! [laughs] Ghost of Christmas Present: Sometimes, you have to SLAP them in the face just to get their attention! Earl Cross: All day long, I listen to people give me excuses why they can't work...'My back hurts,' 'my legs ache,' [pauses for a second] 'I'm only four!' The sooner he learns life isn't handed to him on a silver platter, the better! Promo Announcer: The night the reindeer died! Elliot Loudermilk: Hello wabbit. James Cross: [last lines] My brother, The King of Christmas.

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Frank: I am the youngest president in the history of television for a reason: I know the people. Elliot: Well, uh...granted but the people already wanna watch the show. Frank: That isn't good enough! They have got to be so scared to miss it! So terrified! Now if I were in charge, and I am. [laughs. IBC Executive laughs along with him but Frank looks at him and he shuts up] Perhaps I can help you. Here's the kind of thing I would have done. Grace, cue it up. [stands in front of the screens] Scrooge Promo Announcer: Acid rain. [images and sounds of people screaming; Frank makes a screaming face] Drug addictions. [shows a guy groaning and shooting up on heroin. Scene changes to a jet taking off] International terrorism. [jet blows up in midair. Scene changes to a guy pulling a shotgun out of a car] Freeway killers. [guy with shotgun fires] Now more than ever... Frank: [speaking along with announcer] It is important to remember the true meaning of Christmas. Scrooge Promo Announcer: Don't

Scrooged, CC BY-SA 4.0

Frank: Grace, put yourself down for a towel, too. Grace: What about my bonus? Frank: Towel and a facecloth.

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Lew: Oh, Frank. Frank, you are in trouble. Big trouble. Frank: All right. Let's just say, for argument's sake, that you're right, that I am in big trouble. What exactly would that mean? Lew: Look at me. Look at your future. Now, if you don't change your ways, you're gonna wind up doomed, just as I am. [pats his chest, sending dust flying, and coughs] One minute, I'm on the 14th hole at Winged Foot, lining up a putt. A heart attack later, I'm a worm feast. Frank: No, no, no, no, no, no, no, you're not a worm feast. [pointing at him] You're a HALLUCINATION, brought on by alcohol! Russian vodka, poisoned by Chernobyl! I'm under a lot of pressure lately, I've been putting on a big- Lew: [grabs his hand] SILENCE! Frank: Ow... Lew: I had it all. I was a captain of industry, feared by men, adored by women. Frank: [almost laughing] ADORED?! Let's be honest, Lew! You paid for the women. Lew: I'm warning you, Frank: don't waste your life as I did mine. Frank: Waste? How can you say that?! You're

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Frank: I want to see her nipples. Censor Lady: But this is a Christmas show. Frank: Well, Charles Dickens would have wanted to see her nipples! Carpenter: You can barely see them nipples. Frank: See? And these guys are really looking!

Scrooged, CC BY-SA 4.0

Frank: I get it. You're here to show me my past, and I'm supposed to get all dully-eyed and mushy. Well, forget it, pal, you got the wrong guy! Ghost of Christmas Past: That's exactly what Attila the Hun said. But when he saw his mother...Niagara Falls!

Scrooged, CC BY-SA 4.0