Quotes

Dialogue

Joan: Would you mind if I asked you a favor? Mark O'Brien: What? You need help moving furniture.

Dialogue

Father Brendan: I understand you'd like me to hear your confession. Mark O'Brien: Yes, I would. I told my attendant to come back in half an hour. Is that okay? Father Brendan: I'm in no rush. Mark O'Brien: I can be a bit time consuming, but I'm, uh, worth the trouble. Father Brendan: I'm here for you, Mark. Mark O'Brien: Okay, this is not exactly a confession. I haven't yet done the deed. I was hoping sort of hoping to get a quote in advance. Father Brendan: What's on your mind? Mark O'Brien: The most immediate thing on my mind would be one of my attendants, Joan. I'm thinking of getting rid of her. It's an evil thought, but I - I can't help it. Father Brendan: Is she dishonest, or incompetent? Mark O'Brien: No, neither of those. She looks at me the wrong way. It's that you-need-me-more-than-I-need-you look. I'd like to show her she's wrong, just for the evil satisfaction it will give me. Is that a sin, Father? Father Brendan: Well, it obviously troubles you. Mark O'Brien: Yes, it trou

Dialogue

Mark O'Brien: Do you have any experience? Amanda: No, none at all. Mark O'Brien: That sounds perfect.

Dialogue

Amanda: So, how long can you stay out? Mark O'Brien: Three or four hours. Amanda: Yeah? Mark O'Brien: Depends on how much fun I'm having.

Dialogue

Mark O'Brien: So, what sort of chance do you give me? Laura White: Of achieving your romantic fantasy? Very small to minute. Mark O'Brien: Oh, look, you don't have to pull any punches. You can be direct with me.

Dialogue

Laura White: Would I be correct in assuming you're unable to masturbate? Mark O'Brien: Correct. Laura White: Has anyone done it for you? Mark O'Brien: No. Laura White: Have you ever asked anyone? Mark O'Brien: Not specifically. I asked someone to marry me once. She declined. Does that come close to masturbation?

Dialogue

Mark O'Brien: So, is it possible for me to know a woman in the biblical sense, so to speak? And - and do I want to find out? Father Brendan: And you want my opinion? Mark O'Brien: Please. Father Brendan: In my heart, I feel like He'll give you a free pass on this one. Go for it.

Dialogue

Mark O'Brien: I feel really proud of myself, imposing on someone I hardly know, to fornicate in their home. Rod: Get over it. It's perfectly normal.

Dialogue

Clerk: So, uh, what sort of therapy are they doing? Vera: They're having sex. Clerk: You're shitting me. Vera: Okay, I'm shitting you. Clerk: Oh no, come on, tell me for real. What are they actually doing? Vera: Well, today, after some appropriate foreplay, they're gonna try to achieve full penetration.

Dialogue

Cheryl Cohen-Greene: So, what shall we talk about? Mark O'Brien: We don't have to do much talking? Mark O'Brien: I just wanted to be seen with you in public. And I want people to say, "Hey, who's that gimp with that beautiful blonde?"

Dialogue

Clerk: What kind of therapist is she, really? Vera: I told you the first time, she's a sex therapist. Vera: Today they're working on simultaneous orgasm. Clerk: What's that?

Dialogue

Mark O'Brien: I wanted to believe that because of Cheryl, my life had changed. But it hadn't. I just kept thinking, is that it? Is that all there is? Father Brendan: I think you've done a great thing.

Dialogue

Susan Fernbach: Would you like me to visit you? Mark O'Brien: Are you married? Susan Fernbach: No. Mark O'Brien: Do you have a steady boyfriend? Susan Fernbach: No. Mark O'Brien: Then please visit as often as you can.

Dialogue

Father Brendan: I'm flabbergasted. Mark O'Brien: She adores me. She'll do anything for me, and I can get pretty kinky sometimes. Father Brendan: Here I was, ready to offer comfort to the forlorn. That's supposed to be my specialty. Now I guess I can throw away that little speech. Mark O'Brien: No, no. Please make the little speech. I'd love to hear it. Father Brendan: Okay, fine. Here it goes. The meaning of love. Love is a journey. Mark O'Brien: I like it already. Father Brendan: That’s it. That’s all I’ve got. I told you it’s short. Love is a journey.