Big Daddy

Sonny: ...Hello? Lenny: Sonny? It's your dad. Were you asleep? Sonny: Oh, hey, man, I was - I was exercising. Lenny: Bullshit. You were sleeping. Sonny: No, I wasn't, I wasn't. Lenny: [to someone near him] This kid won't stop lying to me. [to Sonny] You still act like you're 6! Sonny: Oh yeah, okay, dad. I act like I'm 6. Lenny: Any luck finding a job where you can work more than one day a week? Sonny: Uh...I've been looking. Lenny: Looking doesn't pay the rent, kid. Sonny: Hey, all the money I won from the cab accident is kicking ass in the stock market, so relax. Lenny: Well, don't blow it all on worthless crap. Sonny: I won't! Lenny: You know what you should spend it on? Your bar exam. Sonny: You're the lawyer in the family; I ain't taking a damn bar exam. I got too much other shit going on in my life. Lenny: I don't know what the hell happened to you. Sonny: Okay. Lenny: Anyway, how are things going with your girlfriend? What's her name? Vanessa? Sonny: Things are going fine. Vanes

Big Daddy, CC BY-SA 4.0

Everyone: SURPRISE!!! Corrine: Shh. Just ignore him. It's only Sonny. It's only Sonny. Sonny: Yeah, "it's only me, it's only me". [walks over to Tommy, Phil and Mikey] What's going on? Phil: Corrine's throwing a surprise going away party for Kevin. Sonny: Why didn't she tell me about it? The roommate has a right to know. Phil: Because she knew you'd tell him and ruin the surprise. Sonny: No I wouldn't. Man at party: Hey, surprise! Everyone: [unexcited] Surprise. Surprise. Surprise. Sonny: Surprise. Kevin: [confused] What's going on? Corrine: [walks to the front of the party and realizes the surprise didn't work; to Sonny] We wasted the good surprise on you! Sonny: [chuckling] Alright. Kevin: [to Sonny] This your handiwork? Sonny: I guess. Kevin: See you in three hours.

Big Daddy, CC BY-SA 4.0

Kevin: [trying console Corrine who has locked herself in the bathroom] Honey, it was a great surprise! I was totally shocked! Corrine: [from inside] No you weren't! And I worked so hard on it! Layla: [walks over; to Kevin] Need some help? Kevin: [to Corrine] Honey, your sister’s here! Layla: [to Corrine] Hey, sweetie. Corrine: [from inside] I hate Sonny!

Big Daddy, CC BY-SA 4.0

Phil: [discussing a case of his to Sonny, Mike, and Tommy] So, now my client's out $7 million, and all we can sue on is "breach of contract." Sonny: Maybe you can try suing under the Foreign Corrupt Practices Act. Phil: ...I gotta get back to the office, Sonny, you're the king! Mikey, pleasure. [to Tommy] I'll see you at home. Tommy: Alright. Phil: I'll walk you out. [leaves with Tommy, holding hands] Mike: I gotta admit, I’m still a little weirded out when they kiss. Sonny: Why? They're gay, that's what gay guys do. Mike: I know, but they were like brothers to us back in school. Sonny: They're still like our brothers, our very very gay brothers. What are you doing after this? Going to a clan meeting?

Big Daddy, CC BY-SA 4.0

Tommy: [referring to Kevin and Corrine] That relationship's lasted a lot longer than I thought. Sonny: Yeah, look at his eyes, though. He's bored out of his mind. I give it two more weeks. Kevin: [stands up in the middle of the party to make an announcement] Hey, excuse me! Everybody! I wanted to thank you all for coming tonight. Or I guess I should say, [speaking Chinese and everyone laughs politely] I'm getting it. Uh, tomorrow I'm leaving for China to represent the fine firm of Morton & Mandel. Yes, me, the same guy who once shaved his ass to win a $5 bet. Tommy: Prove it! [everyone else laughs but Mikey gives him a look] Just kidding. Kevin: But, uh, I am real glad you're all here tonight because I'm about to do something I never thought I'd have the guts to do... Sonny: You're not proposing, are ya?! Kevin: Uh, yeah, pal, I am. Sonny: Well, think about it...ya know? Corrine: [annoyed] God, Sonny! Shut up! Kevin: [sits down with a sigh] Anyways. Will you? Corrine: [glares at Sonny,

Big Daddy, CC BY-SA 4.0

Sonny: [walking down the steps from his bedroom] Where's Kevin? Corinne: Oh, he already left. I guess he forgot to say goodbye to you. Sonny: Why are you here then? Corinne: I'm cleaning because you're useless. Sonny: And then what? You're gonna go to your Hooters reunion? You guys sit around and talk about whose ass hangs out of their shorts the most? Corinne: At least I can still fit my ass into my shorts, fatty. Sonny: [pulls a container of Chinese leftovers out of the fridge] Speaking of fatty, whose is this? Corinne: I don't know. Sonny: I'm eating it, then.

Big Daddy, CC BY-SA 4.0