Quotes

Dialogues

Linus: Hey, can I ask you something? You ever notice that... Rusty: If you're gonna ask me a question, give me time to respond. Unless you're asking rhetorically, in which case the answer is obvious - yes. Linus: Okay, can I ask you... Rusty: Yes. Linus: Thanks. You ever notice that Tess looks... Rusty: Ooh, don't ever ask that. Ever. Seriously. Not to anyone, especially not to her. Linus: Wait, why not? Rusty: Look, it's not in my nature to be mysterious. But I can't talk about it and I can't talk about why. Linus: Oooooooooo.

Dialogues

Benedict: I have a message for Robert Charles Ryan, soon to be the ex-owner of the Standard Hotel. Rusty: You got him. Benedict: The last we spoke, you hung up on me. Rusty: You used nasty words. I got sensitive ears

Dialogues

Topher: Jesus Christ! Are you people retarded?! It says "Do not disturb"! Rusty: It's me.

Dialogues

Tess: You're doing recon work on our anniversary? Danny: Tess...

Dialogues

Danny: Do I look 50 to you? Basher: Yeah. Danny: Really? Basher: Well, I mean, you know, only from the neck up.

Dialogues

Turk: It's ridiculous, I mean this is a moral issue we're dealing with here. Not to mention we don't have a grease man anymore, because he's in a bag somewhere. We don't know. Virgil: We got a bag man. Turk: Such an ape, an animal, with no feelings you are. Virgil: I have feelings. Turk: No, you don't. Virgil: Look, yeah, I do I feel bad for the guy. He's a human being in a piece of luggage, but you got water, he's got air. What did you want them to do? Turk: Oh my God, they should have gotten off the bus, get off the bus and pick up the bag with our friend in it. Virgil: Get off the bus, they were trying to be inconspicuous. How many soccer teams do you know that are fielding 50 year-old men? Danny: Rusty's not 50 years old. Turk: Yeah dude, we know Rusty's not 50. Danny: You think I'm 50 years old? Let me ask you something... [to Virgil] no, let me ask you something: how old do you think I am? Virgil: 48? Danny: You think I'm 48 years old? Virgil: 52?

Dialogues

Linus: What did I say? Danny: You called his niece a whore. Linus: What?!? Rusty: A very cheap one. Danny: She's seven. Rusty: Currently confined to bed with a wicked case of... Danny: No, don't tell him that. Rusty: I'm sorry.

Dialogues

Turk: Hell in a hand-basket? Linus: No, we... can't train a cat that quickly. And... Turk, Linus, Basher: [together] Not enough people!

Dialogues

Virgil: Doesn't this guy believe in fresh air? Rusty: He opens the second floor window every now and then. Virgil: What does that mean? Rusty: It means he opens the second floor window every now and then.

Dialogues

Danny: What are you doing? Rusty: Sleeping. Why are you dressed? Danny: It's 5:30, day of. Gotta go, let's go! Rusty: It's 11:30. The night before. Danny: Oh... But... [realises he was given a prank wake-up call by Toulour] Oh. Rusty: Oh! Oh, he's mean. He's just mean spirited. All right, how many espressos did you have? Danny: Five.

Dialogues

Linus: So we do a Lookie-Loo... it's actually a Lookie-Loo with a Bundle of Joy! Basher: A Lookie-Loo... with Tess... and a Bundle of Joy? Linus: Yeah! Basher: You've gone right out of your tree, my son. [looking at Turk] He's mad. It's madness. Turk: Yeah, it's crazy. It's Italian television crazy, and, we're still one short. Linus: No no, but think about it. She can get near the egg, during daylight hours, with at least half the system down! Well, that's a trifecta! Basher: You might be right. Make the call.

Dialogues

Linus: I blew the meeting with Matsui. Molly: Let me guess, he pulled a Lost in Translation on you? Linus: [Shocked and frustrated] Why don't I see these things??

Dialogues

Molly: I hope Danny And Rusty appreciate the fine job you did - in a tight jam? I'm really proud of you. Linus: Thanks. Molly: We both are. Linus: [pauses and looks at her] You told Dad? You told Dad? Molly: I had to, sweetheart. We were on vacation. [Linus shakes his head, and looks away] I'm sorry. Linus: Great. you guys are gonna be dining out on this one for months! "Hey, you remember the time your mom had to go to Rome, blah, blah, blah? Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah?"

Dialogues

Reuben: If, God forbid, anything does happen to you, we will not be involved. Benedict: You better not be, Reuben. You better not be.