The Smurfs

There is a place. [Water ripples as a blue portal transports to a forest] A place that knows no sadness. Where even feeling blue is a happy thing. A place inhabited by little blue beings, three apples high. It lies in an enchanted forest, hidden away beyond a medical village. Most people believe this place is made up: only to be found in books or children’s imaginations. [chuckles] Well, we beg to differ.

The Smurfs (film), CC BY-SA 4.0

Grouchy: Knock yourself out, Gargamel! Gutsy: You have had that coming for about thirty years! Gargamel: SMURFS!!!!!!!! [as a Anjelou card flew by from the bumper and he grabs it]

The Smurfs (film), CC BY-SA 4.0

[impressed] Oh. Yes. It's a bit small, but it should do nicely! [climbs into the port-a-potty with Azrael] Oh, it's even got its own cauldron! What died in here? [the port-a-potty shakes and thumping sounds can be heard] OPEN, OPEN, OPEN, OPEN, OPEN, OPEN! [choking] Somebody's been working a dark and terrible magic in there! [coughs in disgust]

The Smurfs (film), CC BY-SA 4.0

Patrick: Grace, we're being attacked! Do not be fooled by their cuteness! Grace: It's okay, it's okay. [cuts to the Smurfs gathered around her bare feet; so close that they can smell her toes] They're friendly. Gutsy: [hops down] You're lucky your lassie stepped in. I was about to make with your innards.

The Smurfs (film), CC BY-SA 4.0

Gargamel: [he and Azrael walk around New York, searching for the Smurfs] We must find this Smurf thief. [Azrael meows] Ah, stop your complaining. If I were a Smurf, where would I go? [spots a businessman talking on the phone and approaches him] You there, you there! Fancy pants! Have you seen any little blue men? Businessman: [on the phone] Absolutely, what price are we talking about? Gargamel: You're selling them? Woman: [on the phone] Have you looked in the drawer, sweetie? Gargamel: [to the woman] Wait, what drawer? Woman: [on the phone] In the kitchen, Lily. Gargamel: Who is this Lily? Man: [on the phone] Are you kidding? She's like the hottest girl in my apartment. Gargamel: [stops the man] Please, please. Please, young woodsman. What does the temperature of this Lily have to do with the finding of Smurfs? Man: [to Gargamel] Take your meds, man. [walks away] Gargamel: [confused] What? I, I... [shouts] IS EVERYONE IN THIS REALM COMPLETELY INSANE?! [spots a peddlar] Oh, thank the go

The Smurfs (film), CC BY-SA 4.0

Patrick: Oh by the way, I wouldn't go anywhere if I were you. Smurfette: Well, why not? Patrick: Because our world doesn't really do well with people from other places. I mean, look what happened to E.T.. [The Smurfs look at Patrick, confused] It's a movie. A moving picture? Book? Just stay. Okay? [walks out the door]

The Smurfs (film), CC BY-SA 4.0