Rizzoli & Isles

Rizzoli: I'm sorry, did the vacuum wake you? Marissa: No, no! I was up studying. Rizzoli: Come in, come in. How's law school? Marissa: Awful. Remind me again why I wanted to be a lawyer. Rizzoli: [laughs] I know, right? Where the hell was I on career day? Marissa: Just making sure you're okay. Rizzoli: Yeah. Why would you ask? Marissa: You always vacuum when you have a tough case. Rizzoli: Huh. Rizzoli: Did you ever like the same guy as your best friend? Isles: No. Rizzoli: Did you ever have a best friend? Isles: No. Rizzoli: You'd tell me if you were a cyborg, right? Isles: No, I don't think I would. Rizzoli: [laughs] Isles: I'm not seeing him. [referring to FBI Agent Dean] Rizzoli: Yet. Isles: Somebody should, don't you think? Rizzoli: Yep. Isles: Should we draw straws? Rizzoli: Couldn't we just show him our tits and let him decide? [they laugh] Isles: Who is Henry Deduboto? Rizzoli: Ted Bundy! Isles: That's... five letters too many for that anagram. Rizzoli: How do you do that?! Riz

Rizzoli & Isles, CC BY-SA 4.0

Rizzoli: Was she dead before she was tossed? Isles: I'd be guessing. Rizzoli: I won't tell. Isles: Ballpark, two hours? Detective: Ballpark? I guess I do owe you dinner. Isles: I love modern Foie de veau. Rizzoli: Oh, my God, you're flirting over a dead body. Isles: When else am I going to do it? Isles: Do you want to know what I'm thinking? Rizzoli: [sarcastically] It's so weird, I do! Isles: I think I know why you're making such a big deal that Grant's your new boss. Rizzoli: I don't want to know what you're thinking! Isles: You two like each other! Rizzoli: No! Do you know what that ass used to call me? Frog face! It's not funny, Maura! No! Isles: [laughing] It's not funny. Rizzoli: I'm not a frog face! Isles: Of course. No! Frost: Korsak's calling me BBK. Barfbag kid. Crow's leaving plastic puke everywhere. Isles: You're not the first detective to be sickened by death. You just have to find your morgue legs. Frost: I read a study that said people can conquer this kind of thing with

Rizzoli & Isles, CC BY-SA 4.0

Isles: He's got a lot of pulp. Rizzoli: Juice, we say guys got juice. Isles: Well you're gonna be drinking yours out of a sippy cup if you don't lower your voice! Isles: Look at that. [gazes at Jane's sandwich] Is it okay? Rizzoli: Yeah! Isles: [lifts half the sandwich and examines it] Look at this! What is that white substance? Rizzoli: Fluff. Isles: Light, downy particles of cotton? Rizzoli: It's marshmallow, and the brown substance is called peanut butter. It's ground up, heavy, oily particles of peanuts. What, they didn't have that in your fancy boarding school? Isles: This is really good! Isles: Haven't you ever been afraid of anything? Rizzoli: Uh, witches! My family went to Salem when I was little. Isles: See, you were very impressionable. Rizzoli: Yes, I had to sleep with a night light. Why, what were you scared of? Isles: Chromobacterium violaceum. Rizzoli: What's that? Isles: It's a flesh-eating bacteria. It crawls inside your ear or your nose and it starts eating you from th

Rizzoli & Isles, CC BY-SA 4.0

Angela: So, you know, I never told you, but I'd be really good at solving cases. Isles: Well, the forensic sciences can be quite complicated. Angela: A little common sense goes a long way. I read so many crime novels and always know who did it. Rizzoli: Thank you, Agatha Christie. Stay in the car. Angela: I won't embarrass you! Rizzoli: Thirty years of experience says otherwise. Isles: Two centimeter singular gunshot wound, mid-chest. Rizzoli: I bet we're looking for a 9mm. [looks defensive when Dr. Isles looks at her in exasperation] I'll have ballistics confirm, I just like to guess! [pause] And I'm usually right! Rizzoli: [looks at a sandwich] Is this from the good fridge or the dead people fridge? Isles: [smiles] Cold air is cold air. Rizzoli: How old is it? No, don't tell me! I'm too hungry. Rizzoli: Dr. Maura Isles: knuckle deep in germy bar snacks. I'm shocked. Isles: Oh, I had representative samples tested. Bacteria count fell within acceptable limits. Do you want one? Rizzoli:

Rizzoli & Isles, CC BY-SA 4.0

Rizzoli: [looking at a large mansion owned by the Fairfield family] Holy crap! Isles: The castle in Scotland is much bigger. The place on the Cape is beautiful, too. Rizzoli: You could have been a Fairfield. How did we not know this?! Isles: Could you stop saying that? Frost: Whooooo. This is a Spyker C8 Laviolette! That's 400 horses up under there! I don't see these in magazines. Isles: Garrett's here. He's always liked the finer things in life. Rizzoli: Yeah. He liked you. Isles: What's your take? Korsak: My take is that you are the chief medical examiner and this is not your first floater. Isles: It is my, uh, forty third. Yes, my forty third. Korsak: I've been a cop a long time. I know when people aren't telling me the whole story. Isles: Jane's mad at me! Korsak: Oh, boy. Isles: She thinks I'm being biased because I'm acquainted with the family. Korsak: Acquainted? I heard it was a little more than that. Isles: It was. Korsak: That's not it, though. When you grow up like Jane you'

Rizzoli & Isles, CC BY-SA 4.0

Rizzoli: The pager's totaled. Isles: That's not a pager. It's a glucose management system; insulin pump. She was diabetic. [looks at the victim's hand] Huh. Yeah, needle sticks. She probably had to check her glucose level about five to ten times a day. [leafs through a small notebook] Yeah, she kept careful records. Her last glucose level reading was over four hundred. Rizzoli: Is that good or bad? Isles: It's extremely high. Rizzoli: Is that good or bad? Rizzoli: I thought you said you couldn't lie! Isles: What do you mean? I can't! Rizzoli: You did! Isles: Only one time when I said I'd finished my homework and I hadn't. I immediately went vasovagal. Fainted. Rizzoli: Maybe I should be a lesbian. Isles: Aw. Well, wishes can come true. Frost and Korsak wanted to fill out your profile. I typed. Rizzoli: You what? Isles: If it wasn't for me, you'd be butch. Rizzoli: You put my photo and profile on a gay dating website? Isles: It's the best shot at getting DNA and breaking this case. Rizz

Rizzoli & Isles, CC BY-SA 4.0