'Allo 'Allo!

René: Are you one of them? Lt. Gruber: It was very lonely on the Russian front. LeClerc: Is he one of us? René: No, he is one of them! Gruber: Please, do not tell everybody!

'Allo 'Allo!, CC BY-SA 4.0

Carstairs: Pretty place France, don’t you think so, Fairfax? Napoleon planted all these trees, you know? Fairfax: Wonder when he had time to fight any battles? Carstairs: He didn’t do it personally, fathead. He had them planted to keep the sun off his troops while they were marching up and down... Do you notice that when ever we pass these peasant people they seem to stare at us in a rather odd way? Fairfax: Maybe, because you’re driving a girl's bicycle. Carstairs: Perhaps we’re doing something wrong. [A car drives by and almost crushes into them] Carstairs: Fairfax, I think I’ve cracked it. We’re riding on the wrong side of the road!

'Allo 'Allo!, CC BY-SA 4.0

Geering: It is not much to look at, Herr Colonel. Colonel: Hans, you ignorant peasant, this is probably the first cuckoo-clock ever made. Absolutely priceless. Und this, this is the Fallen Madonna by Van Klomp, which will be worth a fortune after the war. Geering: Is it wise to have it in your office? Colonel: Who can see it apart from Helga? Geering: Come to think of it, it looks a little like Helga. Colonel: You too?

'Allo 'Allo!, CC BY-SA 4.0

Herr Flick: I have three fallen Madonnas, with six big boobies. Only one of them is real. Helga: Only one big booby?

'Allo 'Allo!, CC BY-SA 4.0

I am disgeesed as poloceman so I am oble to move aboot with complate frodom.

'Allo 'Allo!, CC BY-SA 4.0

Helga: You're looking pensive Herr Flick. Herr Flick: I'm trying to decide what to do with you tonight. I might take you to the movies. Helga: What is showing? Herr Flick: Anything we want. Or we could stay here and amuse ourselves. I have a box of sharp needles somewhere. (Helga looks a little nervous) Ah, here they are. Helga: What have you in mind Herr Flick? Herr Flick: I have an excellent gramophone, and many records of Hitler's speeches. They are quite amusing. Helga: (surprised) Hitler's speeches, quite amusing? Herr Flick: Played at double speed, he sounds like Donald Duck.

'Allo 'Allo!, CC BY-SA 4.0