Dogma

[at St. Michael's hospital] I repeat: this is not a drill. This is the Apocalypse. Please exit the hospital in an orderly fashion. Thank you. l repeat.

Dogma (film), CC BY-SA 4.0

Nun: So, you don't believe in God...because of Alice in Wonderland? Loki: No, Through the Looking Glass, that poem "The Walrus and the Carpenter," that's an indictment of organized religion. The walrus, with his girth and good nature, obviously represents either Buddha or, with his tusks, the Hindu elephant god Lord Ganesha – that takes care of your eastern religions. Now the carpenter, which is an obvious reference to Jesus Christ, who was raised a carpenter's son, he represents the western religions. Now in the poem, what do they do? What do they do? They dupe all these oysters into following them and then proceed to shuck and devour the helpless creatures en masse. Now I don't know what that says to you, but to me it says that following these faiths based on mythological figures ensures the destruction of one's inner being. Organized religion destroys who we are by inhibiting our actions, by inhibiting our decisions, out of fear of some intangible parent figure, who shakes a f

Dogma (film), CC BY-SA 4.0

Loki: Our last four days on Earth. If I had a dick, I'd go get laid. But we can do the next best thing. Bartleby: What's that? Loki: Let's kill people. Loki: Oh, not you.

Dogma (film), CC BY-SA 4.0

Metatron: Behold the Metatron, herald of the Almighty and voice of the one true God. Behold the Metatron, herald of the Almighty and voice of the one true God. Behold the Metatron, herald of the Almighty and voice of the one true... Metatron: Ah, Sweet Jesus! Did you have to use the whole can?! Bethany: Who the fuck are you and what the fuck are you doing in my room?! Metatron: I'm the one that's soaked and she's the one that's surly, that's rich. Stupid... fucking Christ... Bethany: Get the fuck out of here! Now! Metatron: Or you'll do what, exactly? Hit me with that...fffffish? Metatron: Now, just sit down on the bed and shut up. Jesus wept... Look at my suit! Bethany: Look, just take whatever you want, but don't kill or rape me. Metatron: Oh, give over, will you? I couldn't rape you if I wanted to; Angels are ill-equipped! [Drops his pants to show blank skin where his genitals should be] See? I'm as anatomically impaired as a Ken doll. Now make yourself useful and gimme that towel,

Dogma (film), CC BY-SA 4.0

Metatron: Metatron acts as the voice of God. Any documented occasion when some yahoo claims that God has spoken to them, they're speaking to me. Or they're talking to themselves. Bethany: Well... why doesn't God speak for Himself? Metatron: Glad you decided to join the conversation. To answer that: human beings have neither the aural nor the psychological capacity to withstand the awesome power of God's true voice. Were you to hear it, your mind would cave in and your heart would explode within your chest. We went through five s before we figured that one out.

Dogma (film), CC BY-SA 4.0

Metatron: I am to charge you with a holy crusade. Bethany: For the record, I work in an abortion clinic. Metatron: was a drunk, look what he accomplished. And no one's even asking you to build an ark. All you have to do is go to New Jersey and visit a small church on a very important day. Bethany: New Jersey? That doesn't sound like much of a crusade. Metatron: Aside from the fine print, that's it. Bethany: What's the fine print? Metatron: [Mumbling into glass] Stop-a-couple-of-angels-from-entering-and-thus-negating-all-existence. Bethany: Wait, wait, wait. Repeat that. Metatron: [Annoyed] Stop a couple of angels from entering and thus negating all existence. I hate when people need it spelled out for them!

Dogma (film), CC BY-SA 4.0