Tropic Thunder

Damien: Crisis meeting? What does that mean, exactly? I mean, you know, are we in a crisis? Rob: He's the head of the studio. He's reaching out. We're 10,000 miles away. He just wants a little face-time. Damien: I know. It's just you said he called it a crisis meeting. So, you know... Rob: It's Les Grossman. He throws these words around. "Crisis," "explosion," "not rolling," "fired." These are just words.

Tropic Thunder, CC BY-SA 4.0

Les Grossman: I see you. I see you. I see you. Which one of you fuckfaces is Damien Cockburn? Damien Cockburn: Uh, that's me, sir. It's an honor to finally meet you. Get some face time. Les Grossman: And who here is the key grip? [the key grip raises his hand] You? You! Hit that director in the face, really fucking hard! Key Grip: [reluctantly walks over to Damien] Sorry, man. [punches him in the face] Les Grossman: This is all your fault, you Limey fuck! You shit the money-bed, my friend. Damien Cockburn: What? Rob Slolom: God damn it, Damien! with all due respect, Les Grossman did not blow up the jungle. Damien Cockburn: What? Les Grossman: Fuck the jungle. Rob Slolom: Exactly! come on, man. Damien Cockburn: Hey, Les, I understand if you're angry, but I am dealing with a bunch of prima donnas! clowns! Tugg Speedman, he can't cry! he can't cry! Les Grossman: You know how you handle an actor? they whine about anything, you pull down their pants and you spank their ass. Rob Slolom: You

Tropic Thunder, CC BY-SA 4.0

Les Grossman: The universe is talking to us right now. You just gotta listen. Grossman: See, this is the good part, Pecker. This is when the job gets fun. Rob Slolom: Mmm, yeah. Grossman: Ask, and you shall receive. Slolom: All right! Grossman: You play ball, we play ball. [Slolom nods. Grossman begins dancing like he's slapping ass.] I know you want the goodies. Mmm! Slolom: Welcome to the goodie room. Grossman: You payin' attention? 'Cuz I'm talkin' G5, Pecker. That's how you're gonna roll. No more frequent flyer bitch miles for my boi. Oh yeah. Playa. Playa. Big dick playa. Slolom: Swingin' past your knees. Grossman: Big dick, baby. Slolom: Yup. Grossman: Or, you can grow a conscience in the next five minutes and see where that takes you. Rick "Pecker" Peck: Let me get this straight. You want me to let my client of fifteen years, one of my best friends, die in the jungle alone for some money and a G5. Grossman: Yes. Pecker: A G5 airplane. Grossman: Yes. And lots of money. Playa....

Tropic Thunder, CC BY-SA 4.0

Jeff Portnoy: So, what's the plan, man? You gonna talk Vietnamese to those dudes? Kirk Lazarus: No, no. Mandarin Chinese. What I can tell, it's what they're speaking down there. Portnoy: How the hell do you know Chinese? Lazarus: Land of Silk and Money with Gong Li. Second Globe, third Oscar. I prepped for that one by working in a Beijing textile factory for eight months.

Tropic Thunder, CC BY-SA 4.0

Cody: Dude, dude, what the hell is going on here? Where are we? Four-Leaf Tayback: I have no idea, I've never been outside the States. Cody: Wait what?! Are you fucking kidding me?! Did you make this whole goddamn thing up?! Dude you weren't even in the fucking service?! Tayback: Yes! Of course! Coast Guard! Cody: Coast Guard. Tayback: Sanitation Department. Cody: Oh my God! You're a fucking garbage man! Dammit! F.L. Tayback lies to me and the whole goddamn U.S. of A. Tayback: I wrote the book as a tribute! I'm a patriot. Cody: Yeah, you're the Milli Vanilli of patriots okay? You lied about fighting in the Vietnam War. It's like - It's like punching the American flag in the face goddammit! God, to think I believed you! Tayback: Writers lie all the time! Cody: [a guard bursts in] Can I be tied to another post please?

Tropic Thunder, CC BY-SA 4.0

Speedman: I don’t believe you people! Lazarus: Huh! What do you mean, “you people”? [silence] Chino: What do YOU mean, “you people”!? Lazarus: HUH? Sandusky: I... I think what, uh, Tugg means is, “you people”, “you actors”. Speedman: Chill! Alright? Just chill it! Now, let’s go get those Vietcongs. Chino: Vietcong! Speedman: What? Chino: It’s “Vietcong”, there’s no ‘s’, it’s already plural. You wouldn’t say “Chineses."

Tropic Thunder, CC BY-SA 4.0