Johnny English

Lorna Campbell: What are you going to do, Johnny? Sit in this grotty flat feeling sorry for yourself, or are you gonna get out there and save your country? Johnny English: I'm gonna sit in the flat.

Johnny English, CC BY-SA 4.0

Funeral Officer: Everything in order, English? Johnny English: I think you'll find it's more than just in order, sir. You are now entering the most secure location in the whole of England. [a bomb explodes in the distance, killing all the British agents]

Johnny English, CC BY-SA 4.0

Pegasus: It's an unmitigated disaster, English! Johnny English: I couldn't agree more, sir. Pegasus: Well, we need to get those jewels back, English, and fast! [English is momentarily distracted by the sight of Pegasus's secretary (who he accidentally tranquilized earlier) scooting past the doors outside in a wheelchair, glaring at him] Now tell me about this assailant. Because when they searched the room later, there was no sign of him. Johnny English: [Uncomfortable; the 'assailant' was made up by him to account for him accidentally knocking a man out] Well, the man was clearly a professional. He must have escaped while the Queen was being sedated. Pegasus: But he's the only lead we've got, English! We have to find him. [A man with a laptop walks into the room] Oh, come in. This is-this is Roger from Data Support. He'll produce a likeness based on your description. So tell us, what did this man look like? Johnny English: Well, he was... big. Roger: Hair colour? Johnny English: [looks

Johnny English, CC BY-SA 4.0

[picks up a snazzy-looking golden ballpoint pen on the secretary's desk] Oh, reminds me of the old service-issue ballpoint. I remember every agent would carry a pen that looked just like this. Completely innocent to the untrained eye, but, click it twice-- [clicks the pen twice, accidentally firing a mini-dart, which hits the secretary in the buttocks. She collapses]

Johnny English, CC BY-SA 4.0

Bough: Are you all right, sir? Johnny English: Yes, I landed on something quite soft. Bough: That was me, sir. Johnny English: Oh, good.

Johnny English, CC BY-SA 4.0

Johnny English: It may be pitch black, but we can still see. Bough: How? Johnny English: The Bedouin monks of the Al Magreb Mountains developed a system of sonic chanting. Bough: I see, sir. Johnny English: The sound of their chanting would bounce back off any obstacles, and using their highly tuned ears they could paint a mental picture of the path ahead. Bough: Brilliant, sir. Johnny English: However, you must always sing in E-flat. [singing] E-E-E-E flat, E-E-E flat, E-flaaaaaaat! Thaaaaank you for the music, the songs I'm singing-- Bough: Is it working, sir? Johnny English: Extremely well, thank you, Bough. [singing] Thanks for all the joy they're-- [Johnny hits the tunnel wall] Ow!

Johnny English, CC BY-SA 4.0