Quotes

Dialogue

The Dude: Nobody calls me Lebowski. You got the wrong guy. I'm the Dude, man. Blond Treehorn Thug: Your name's Lebowski, Lebowski. Your wife is Bunny. The Dude: My— my wife, Bunny? Do you see a wedding ring on my finger? Does this place look like I'm fucking married? The toilet seat's up, man!

Dialogue

The Dude: Yeah, man, it really tied the room together. Walter Sobchak: This was a valued, uh... The Dude: Yeah. Donny: What tied the room together, Dude? The Dude: My rug. Walter Sobchak: Were you listening to The Dude's story, Donny? Donny: What? The Dude: Walter. Walter Sobchak: Were you listening to The Dude's story? Donny: I was bowling. Walter Sobchak: So you have no frame of reference here, Donny. You're like a child who wanders into the middle of a movie and wants to know– The Dude: Walter, Walter, what's the point, man? Walter Sobchak: There's no reason–Here's my point, Dude–There's no fucking reason why these two– Donny: Yeah, Walter, what's your point? Walter Sobchak: Huh? The Dude: Walter, what is the point? Look, we all know who is at fault here. What the fuck are you talking about? Walter Sobchak: Huh? No, what the fuck are you–? I'm not...we're talking about unchecked aggression here, Dude. Donny: What the fuck is he talking about? The Dude: My rug. Walter Sobchak: Forget

Dialogue

The Big Lebowski: Okay, sir. You're a Lebowski, I'm a Lebowski. That's terrific. But I am very busy, as I imagine you are. What can I do for you, sir? The Dude: Uh, sir. Well, it's this rug i have. It really tied the room together. The Big Lebowski: You told Brandt on the phone, and he told me. What do I fit in? The Dude: Well, uh. They were looking for you, these two guys. The Big Lebowski: I'll say it again. You told Brandt on the phone, he told me. I know what happened, yes? yes? The Dude: Oh, so you know that they were trying to piss on your rug. The Big Lebowski: Did I urinate on your rug? The Dude: I mean, did you personally come and pee on my rug? The Big Lebowski: Hello! Do you speak English, sir? Parla usted Ingles! I'll ask you again, did I urinate on your rug? The Dude: No, Like I said. Woo peed on my rug. The Big Lebowski: I just want to understand this, sir. Every time a rug is micturated upon in this fair city, I have to compensate the person? The Dude: Come on, man. I'm

Dialogue

Brandt: Uh, our guest needs to be going now, Mrs. Lebowski. The Dude: Oh, you're Bunny. Bunny Lebowski: I'll suck your cock for a thousand dollars. Brandt: [laughs] Wonderful woman! We're all, we're all very fond of her. Very free-spirited. Bunny Lebowski: Brandt can't watch, though, or he has to pay a hundred. Brandt: Ha ha. That's marvelous. The Dude: Uh, I'm just gonna go find a cash machine. The Big Lebowski: What makes a man, Mr. Lebowski? The Dude: Dude. The Big Lebowski: Huh? The Dude: Uhh... I don't know sir. The Big Lebowski: Is it being prepared to do the right thing, whatever the cost? Isn't that what makes a man? The Dude: Hmmm... Sure, that and a pair of testicles Walter Sobchak: Fucking dog has fucking papers— Over the line! Smokey: Huh? Walter Sobchak: I'm sorry, Smokey. You were over the line, that's a foul. Smokey: Bullshit. Mark it 8, Dude. Walter Sobchak: Uh, excuse me. Mark it zero. Next frame. Smokey: Bullshit, Walter. Mark it 8, Dude. Walter Sobchak: Smokey, this

Dialogue

Walter Sobchak: You know, Dude, I myself dabbled in pacifism at one point. Not in 'Nam of course. The Dude: And, you know, he's got emotional problems, man. Walter Sobchak: You mean beyond pacifism?

Dialogue

The Dude: Fuckin' Quintana. that creep can roll, man. Walter Sobchak: Yeah, but he's a pervert, Dude. The Dude: Yeah. Walter Sobchak: No! He's a sex offender, with a record. He served 6 months in Chino for exposing himself to an eight year old. The Dude: Oh! Walter Sobchak: When he moved to Hollywood, he had to go door to door to tell everyone he was a pederast. Donny: What's a pederast, Walter? Walter Sobchak: Shut the fuck up, Donny.

Dialogue

The Dude: She probably kidnapped herself. Walter Sobchak: Huh? Donny: What do you mean, Dude? The Dude: Rug peers did not do this. Look at it! A young trophy wife marries this guy for his money. she figures he isn't given her enough, you know. She owes money all over town. Walter Sobchak: That fucking bitch. The Dude: It's all a goddamn fake, man! It's like Lenin said: You look for the person who will benefit, and, uh, uh, you know— Donny: "I am the walrus"? The Dude: You know what I'm trying to say? Donny: "I am the walrus." Walter Sobchak: That fucking bitch The Dude: Oh yeah! Donny: "I am the walrus." Walter Sobchak: That's ex— Shut the fuck up, Donny! V.I. Lenin! Vladimir Ilyich Ulyanov! Donny: What the fuck is he talking about? Walter Sobchak: Fuckin' exactly what happened to those— That makes me fuckin' sick! The Dude: Well, what do you care, Walter? Walter Sobchak: Those rich fucks! This whole fuckin' thing! I did not watch my buddies die face-down in the muck so this fuckin' st

Dialogue

The Dude: Jesus, man, can you change the channel? Cab Driver: Fuck you, man! If you don't like my fucking music, get your own fucking cab! The Dude: I had a really rough— Cab Driver: I'll pull to the side and kick your ass out. The Dude: Man, come on. I had a rough night, and I hate the fucking Eagles, man. Cab Driver: Out of my fucking cab! Out!

Dialogue

Donny: They posted the next round for the tournament! Walter Sobchak: Donny, shut the f— When do we play? Donny: This Saturday. Quintana and— Walter Sobchak: Saturday? Well, they'll have to reschedule. The Dude: Walter, what am I gonna tell Lebowski? Walter Sobchak: I told that fuck down at the league office–who's in charge of scheduling? The Dude: Walter. Donny: Burkhalter. Walter Sobchak: I told that kraut a fucking thousand times that I don't roll on Shabbos! The Dude: Walter. Donny: They already posted it. Walter Sobchak: WELL, THEY CAN FUCKING UNPOST IT!!!! The Dude: Who gives a shit? They're gonna kill that poor woman, man! What am I gonna tell Lebowski? Walter Sobchak: Come on, Dude. Eventually she'll get tired of her little game and, you know, wander on back. Donny: How come you don't roll on Saturday, Walter? Walter Sobchak: I'm Shomer Shabbos. Donny: What's that, Walter? The Dude: Yeah, and in the meantime, what do I tell Lebowski?! Walter Sobchak: Saturday, Donny, is Shabbos

Dialogue

Walter Sobchak: Fucking Germans. Nothing changes. Fucking Nazis. Donny: They were Nazis, Dude? Walter Sobchak: Oh, come on, Donny. They were threatening castration! Are we gonna split hairs here? Am I wrong?

Dialogue

Maude Lebowski: What do you do for— for recreation? The Dude: Oh, the usual. I bowl. Drive around. The occasional acid flashback.

Dialogue

Walter Sobchak: [talking to The Dude] We're gonna see some tank battles. Fighting in desert is very different from fighting in canopy jungle. I mean, that was a foot-soldier's war whereas this thing here should, uh, you know, should be a piece of cake. I mean, I had an M16 Jacko, not an Abrams fucking tank. Me and Charlie, eyeball to eyeball. That's fucking combat. The man in the black pajamas, Dude. Worthy fuckin' adversary. Donny: Who was in pajamas, Walter? Walter Sobchak: Shut the fuck up, Donny. Whereas what we have here: Bunch of fig-eaters wearin' towels on their head tryin' to find reverse on a Soviet tank. This is not a worthy fuckin' adversary.. Jesus Quintana: Hey! What's this "day of rest" shit?! What's this bullshit? I don't fuckin' care! It don't matter to Jesus. But you're not foolin' me, man. You might fool the fucks in the league office, but you don't fool Jesus. This bush-league psych out stuff. Laughable, man. Ha ha! I would have fucked you in the ass Saturday. I fuc

Dialogue

Walter Sobchak: I'm saying, I see what you're getting at, Dude. He kept the money. My point is: here we are. It's shabbos, the sabbath, which I'm allowed to break only if it's a matter of life or death. The Dude: Will you come off it, Walter? You're not even fucking Jewish, man. Walter Sobchak: What the fuck are you talkin' about? The Dude: Man, you're fucking Polish Catholic. Walter Sobchak: What the fuck are you talking about? I converted when I married Cynthia! Come on, Dude! The Dude: Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Walter Sobchak: And you know this! The Dude: Yeah, and five fucking years ago you were divorced. Walter Sobchak: So what are you saying? When you get divorced you turn in your library card? You get a new license? You stop being Jewish? I'm as Jewish as fucking Tevye. The Dude: It's all a part of your sick Cynthia thing, man. Taking care of her fucking dog. Going to her fucking synagogue. You're living in the fucking past. Walter Sobchak: Three thousand years of beautiful tradit

Dialogue

The Dude: Where was she, man? Brandt: Visiting friends of hers in Palm Springs. She just picked up and left, never bothered to tell us. The Dude: Well, I guess the fucking nihilists knew where she was. Walter Sobchak: Jesus, Dude. She never even kidnapped herself. Brandt: Who is this gentleman, Dude? Walter Sobchak: Who am I? I'm a fucking veteran! That's who I am. Brandt: You shouldn't go in there, Dude. He's very angry. [Dude and Walter enter Lebowski's office] The Big Lebowski: So, she's back. No thanks to you. The Dude: Where's the fucking money, Lebowski? Walter Sobchak: A million bucks from fucking needy little urban achievers! You are scum, man! The Big Lebowski: Who the hell is he? Walter Sobchak: Who am i? Who am i? I'm the guy that's gonna kick your phony goldbricking ass! That's who I am! The Dude: We know the briefcase was fucking empty. We know you kept the million bucks for yourself. The Big Lebowski: You have your story, I have mine. I say I entrusted the money to you an

Dialogue

The Dude: Well, take care, man. Gotta get back. The Stranger: Sure. Take it easy, Dude. The Dude: Oh yeah! The Stranger: I know that you will. The Dude: Yeah, well, the Dude abides. The Stranger: "The Dude abides." I don't know about you, but I take comfort in that. It's good knowin' he's out there. The Dude. Takin' 'er easy for all us sinners. Shoosh. I sure hope he makes the finals.

Dialogue

Walter Sobchak: Is this your homework Larry? Is this your homework Larry? The Dude: Look man, is— Walter Sobchak: Dude please. Is this your homework Larry? The Dude: Just ask him about the car man. Walter Sobchak: Is this yours, Larry? Is this your homework Larry? The Dude: Is that car out front— Walter Sobchak: Is this your homework Larry? The Dude: We know it's his fucking homework! Where's the fucking money you little brat? Walter Sobchak: Look, Larry. Have you ever heard of Vietnam? The Dude: Oh, for Christ sake, Walter. Walter Sobchak: You're entering a world of pain, son. We know that this is your homework. We know you stole the car— The Dude: And the fucking money! Walter Sobchak: And the fucking money. And we know this is your homework. The Dude: They're gonna cut your dick off, Larry! Walter Sobchak: You're killing your father, Larry! Walter Sobchak: All right. This is pointless. Okay, time for Plan B.

Dialogue

The Dude: Get out of that car! Get the fuck out of the car, man. Get out of the fu— [Da Fino steps out of the car] Who the fuck are you?! Da Fino: Easy man. Relax. No physical harm intended. The Dude: Who the fuck are you, man? Da Fino: Okay, man. I'm okay. The Dude: Why are you following me around? Come on fuckhead! Da Fino: Hey, relax man. I'm a Brother Shamus. The Dude: Brother Shamus? Like an Irish monk? Da Fino: What the fuck are you talking about? My name's Da Fino. I'm a private snoop, like you, man. The Dude: I'm not— Just stay away from my special lady friend. Da Fino: Hey, hey. I'm not messing with your special lady. The Dude: She's not my special lady. She's my fucking lady friend. I'm just trying to help her conceive, man. Da Fino: Hey man, i'm not tryin to— The Dude: Who're you working for? Lebowski? Jackie Treehorn? Da Fino: The Knutsens. The Dude: The— Who the fuck are the Knutsens? Da Fino: The Knutsens. It's a wandering daughter job. Bunny Lebowski, man. Her real name