Quotes

Dialogue

Loretta: Who the hell are you? The Leprechaun: I'm a leprechaun me lass, and I'm gonna make you pay! Loretta: What do you want? The Leprechaun: Your boobs are big. Your butt is small. But still you're in for quite a fall. Loretta: What are you talking about? The Leprechaun: Oh, well didn't you hear? Bigger is good, but jumbo is dear. I'll give ya boobs that come out to here.

Dialogue

Scott: There once was a lady of Totten whose tastes grew perverted and rotten. She cared not for steaks or for pastries and cakes, but lived upon penis au gratin. Waitress: Metallica. No, wait... White Zombie. I got the album. Enjoy your spuds! Scott: What the hell did I just say?

Dialogue

Doctor: Now listen to me! This may mean the difference between living and dying. Do you have health insurance? Scott: Do ya take Green Cross?

Dialogue

Tammy: Let me go, you son of a bitch! Leprechaun: Now that's no way to speak about me mother, bless her green soul.

Dialogue

Doctor: All right, let's just start with every test that starts with the letter A, tomorrow we'll do the B's, and then Thursday... Nurse: You play golf on Thursday. Doctor: Well, this is an emergency.

Dialogue

Mitch: Will you keep your voice down? One thing I can't stand is a fat broad with a big mouth. Loretta: Who's callin' fat, fat, Mr. Porker? You couldn't get a woman if your life depended on it. Mitch: Oh yeah? I could have any broad that I want. Loretta: Like that bubble-headed little bimbo Miss Tammy?

Dialogue

Scott: Excuse me, where can I cash a check? Mitch: You old enough to be in here, kid? [Sees the amount of Scott's check] Yes, you're old enough. Right over there. If there's anything you need, just come to me.

Dialogue

Tammy: Sorry I'm late, Fazio. Fazio: I told you, you will address me as Great One offstage and on. Tammy: You're a magician, not the Pope.

Dialogue

Fazio: [The Leprechaun has turned his white rabbit into a pile of green feces] Oh, shit! The Leprechaun: A little token of my esteem. It is exactly what it seems. Made fresh daily at exactly 9:00. It comes from my shillelagh. You can keep it in a crock. [Cruelly chuckles]

Dialogue

Scott: I thought maybe you could sneak me inside the casino to see what it's like. Tammy: What? Do you think this is like Disneyland or something?

Dialogue

Scott: Have you ever blown a rod before? Tammy: I beg your pardon? Scott: The engine, I meant. See, you got your pistons and your rods... You don't want to know this, right? Tammy: No, actually, I don't.

Dialogue

Loretta: Why don't you hire me? Fazio: Twenty years ago, Loretta, or should I say twenty pounds ago?

Dialogue

Lucky: He's a good luck charm. Gupta: Yes, I can see it's working very well.

Dialogue

Tony: Look sharp, be sharp. Art: No, tell him the other thing. The threat thing. Tony: Oh. You pay Arthur the money you owe him or I will kill you. Mitch: What are you, tough guys? I got hemorrhoids tougher than you.