Kindergarten Cop

My dad's a gynecologist and he looks at vaginas all day long.

Kindergarten Cop, CC BY-SA 4.0

Police officer 1: Drop the gun! Police officer 2: Yeah, that's right! Drop the gun! Kimble: Hey! I'm a police officer. This is an arrest. Crisp: This man's crazy. Look at him. He'll kill me. You're just going to stand there? Police officer 1: Freeze! Hairstylist: Jeez! Kimble: [annoyed] I'm a cop, you idiot! I'm Detective John Kimble. This man is under arrest.

Kindergarten Cop, CC BY-SA 4.0

Kimble: How do I look? Phoebe: Take off the gun. Kimble: That's a good idea. Phoebe: Little bastards are gonna eat you alive. Kimble: Get some rest and don't worry. I've been working undercover for a long time. They're six-year-olds. How much trouble can they be? Phoebe: On second thought, take the gun.

Kindergarten Cop, CC BY-SA 4.0

Kimble: Emma, take your toy back to the carpet. Emma: I'm not a policeman, I'm a princess! Kimble: [not in the mood] Take your toy back to the carpet! Emma: I'm not a policeman, I'm a princess! Kimble: [loses his patience] TAKE IT BACK! Emma: [timidly] All right.

Kindergarten Cop, CC BY-SA 4.0

Phoebe: Listen, Kimble. You've gotta handle this like any other police situation. You walk into it showing fear, you're dead. And those kids know you're scared. Kimble: [nods] No fear. Phoebe: No fear.

Kindergarten Cop, CC BY-SA 4.0

Miss Schlowski: Your teacher, Mrs. Hagley, had to go on an important trip for a few days. Lisa: Where'd she go? Miss Schlowski: That doesn't matter. Lowell: Did she die? Miss Schlowski: No, Lowell, she went to see someone. Lowell: Did they die? Miss Schlowski: No, Lowell. Lowell: Everyone dies, you know.

Kindergarten Cop, CC BY-SA 4.0