Quotes

Dialogue

Theresa: I was just showing Simon around the house. Simon: You have a very nice house, Mrs. Jones. Marilyn: Thank you, Simon. You can call me Marilyn. Simon: You too, Mr. Jones. Percy: Thank you, Simon. You can call me Mr. Jones. Percy: Just kidding.

Dialogue

Simon: [reeling off "black" jokes] Why can't black people listen to country music? Keisha: Why? Simon: Because every time they say "hoedown", they think their sister got shot!

Dialogue

Simon: [after telling a series of black jokes, family laughing] What are three things a black guy can't get? A black eye, a fat lip and a job. Howard: I tell you. I'm going to kick that boy's ass!

Dialogue

Howard: You didn't tell me he was white! Percy: Yes, I did. Back at the retirement home. Howard: I thought you was kidding.

Dialogue

Howard: You don't hear me calling no white folks honky and flat-ass! Percy: Casper. Howard: Cracker. Percy: Ofay. Howard: Peckerwood. Percy: Wonder bread. Howard: Bird shit. Percy: Bird shit? Howard: Well, it's almost white.

Dialogue

Percy: If you're going to marry one of these women, sometimes it's going to hurt like hell. And all you can do is admit that you're wrong and know that she's always right. Simon: She's right? Percy: That's right. Simon: Always? Percy: Right. Simon: Right? Percy: That's right. Simon: All right, okay. What about all that talk about my dignity? Percy: Do you love her? Do you want her? Then she's always right.

Dialogue

Simon: [to Theresa] I want to see your sexy body go BUMP, BUMP, BUMP! Kimbra: Did he just say bump, bump, bump? Naomi: Yes he did, and it's Percy Jones' fault!