Guess Who

Theresa: I was just showing Simon around the house. Simon: You have a very nice house, Mrs. Jones. Marilyn: Thank you, Simon. You can call me Marilyn. Simon: You too, Mr. Jones. Percy: Thank you, Simon. You can call me Mr. Jones. Percy: Just kidding.

Guess Who, CC BY-SA 4.0

Simon: [reeling off "black" jokes] Why can't black people listen to country music? Keisha: Why? Simon: Because every time they say "hoedown", they think their sister got shot!

Guess Who, CC BY-SA 4.0

Simon: [after telling a series of black jokes, family laughing] What are three things a black guy can't get? A black eye, a fat lip and a job. Howard: I tell you. I'm going to kick that boy's ass!

Guess Who, CC BY-SA 4.0

Howard: You didn't tell me he was white! Percy: Yes, I did. Back at the retirement home. Howard: I thought you was kidding.

Guess Who, CC BY-SA 4.0

Howard: You don't hear me calling no white folks honky and flat-ass! Percy: Casper. Howard: Cracker. Percy: Ofay. Howard: Peckerwood. Percy: Wonder bread. Howard: Bird shit. Percy: Bird shit? Howard: Well, it's almost white.

Guess Who, CC BY-SA 4.0

Percy: If you're going to marry one of these women, sometimes it's going to hurt like hell. And all you can do is admit that you're wrong and know that she's always right. Simon: She's right? Percy: That's right. Simon: Always? Percy: Right. Simon: Right? Percy: That's right. Simon: All right, okay. What about all that talk about my dignity? Percy: Do you love her? Do you want her? Then she's always right.

Guess Who, CC BY-SA 4.0