The IT Crowd

Standard nerds!

The IT Crowd, CC BY-SA 4.0

Roy Trenneman: [picking up the phone] Hello, IT. Have you tried turning it off and on again? Uh... okay, well, the button on the side, is it glowing? Yeah, you need to turn it on... uh, the button turns it on... yeah, you do know how a button works don't you? No, not on clothes. Maurice Moss: [picking up the phone] Hello, IT...Yaha... Have you tried forcing an unexpected reboot? Roy: No, no there you go, no there you go. I just heard it come on... no, no, that's the music you heard when it come on... no, that's the music you hear when... I'm sorry, are you from the past? Moss: See the driver hooks a function by patching the system call table, so it's not safe to unload it unless another thread's about to jump in there and do its stuff, and you don't want to end up in the middle of invalid memory! [chuckle] Hello? Roy: Oh really? Then why don't you come down and make me then. Huh, what you think I'm afraid of you? I'm not afraid of you. You can come down here any time and I'll be waitin

The IT Crowd, CC BY-SA 4.0

Moss: You had a job? Roy: [coyly] Girl on 5th. Moss: Did you hit it off? Roy: Define 'hit it off'. Moss: Did she continue talking to you after you'd fixed her computer? Roy: No. And while I was working, she rested a cup on my back. Moss: No! Roy: Yep! (shows a cup mark on his back) I mean, they have no respect for us up there! No respect whatsoever! We're all just drudgeons to them! Moss: Yes! If there were such a thing as a drudgeon, that is what we'd be to them. Roy: It's like they're pally-wally with us when there's a problem with their printer, but once it's fixed— Moss: They just toss us away like yesterday's jam. Roy: Yes! Yesterday's jam. That is what we are to them! Actually, that doesn't work as a thing, because, you know, jam lasts for ages. Hello IT. Have you tried turning it off and on again?

The IT Crowd, CC BY-SA 4.0

Moss: Did you notice how she didn't even get excited when she saw this original ZX81? Roy: Yeah, that was weird. It's almost as if she doesn't know anything about computers. Moss: What?! (Drops mug) Roy: What're you doing?! Moss: Oh, don't worry. That's why I always make two cups of tea. (Picks up another mug) Anyway, what were we talking about? Roy: Her not knowing anything about computers. Moss: WHAT?! (drops mug)

The IT Crowd, CC BY-SA 4.0

Moss: Chairman Wow! You just defused that entire situation! Jen: What situation? (Sees Roy on the floor) Oh, yeah that. Wow, does that happen often? Moss: They're fairly regular, the beatings, yes. I'd say we're on a bi-weekly beating. Roy: Oh, it's not that bad. Moss: Come on, it's pretty bad.

The IT Crowd, CC BY-SA 4.0

TV Advert Narrator: [Voicing an Emergency Services advert] Has this ever happened to you? [The old woman on the advert twists her ankle and falls down stairs, gets up and falls down second flight of stairs before picking up her phone and trying to dial 999] From today, dialing 999 won't get you the Emergency Services, and that's not the only thing that's changing! [upbeat music starts, followed by close-ups and shots of new emergency vehicles and team] Nicer ambulances, faster response times and better-looking drivers mean they're not just the Emergency Services, they're your Emergency Services. So, remember the new number! :[upbeat voice singing to jingle] 0118 999 881 999 119 725! [short pause] 3! That's [number is repeated in similar style whilst the old woman dials the number and waits] Old Woman: Hello? I've had a bit of a tumble. Moss: [watching the ad] Well that's easy to remember. [singing in a similar style to the advert] 0118 999 881 999 119 725! [short pause] 3. Roy: [listen

The IT Crowd, CC BY-SA 4.0