Extras

Ben Stiller: A lot of you might be thinking, 'Why am I making this movie?' Sure, you guys look at me as one of the world's most successful comedy actors … what does that mean? I mean, yeah, I make Along Came Polly, it opens to $32 million, one of the biggest Martin Luther King, Jr. birthday holiday opening weekends ever, goes on to gross 170 million worldwide. Meet the Parents, double that. But what does the money and the success mean in real terms? If I find a little orphan child in a warzone, hiding in a burnt out building. His parents, murdered. Persecuted for his race, his religion. What am I gonna do? Pop on Dodgeball on DVD? Goran: Is funny film. Ben Stiller: Thanks, and I can put on Dodgeball, and he's gonna laugh for an hour and 32 minutes, you know, escape reality for a while, but what happens when the film finishes? Back to reality. Still an orphan. Still living with fear. How do I help him? Put on Dodgeball again? Sure, he's gonna laugh again. He'll see things he didn't see

Extras (TV series), CC BY-SA 4.0

Ben Stiller: Who are you? Andy: Nobody. Ben Stiller: What's that? Who? Andy: Nobody. Ben Stiller: That's right. Nobody. Yeah. And who am I? Andy: It's either Starsky or Hutch, I can never remember. Ben Stiller: Was that supposed to be funny? Andy: You tell me, you were in it. Stiller: Get off my set. Go on, get off my set. Ben Stiller: Hey, do you know how much Meet the Fockers made in its opening weekend? Andy: No. Ben Stiller: No, you don't do you? [Suddenly points to a random crew member] What do you think? Random Crewmember: I dunno. Ben Stiller: Take a wild guess. Random Crewmember: Twenty million? Ben Stiller: [Smugly, to Andy] Way off. Double it. Add six. Forty-six, three days. Seventy million, five days. Five hundred million worldwide. Number one movie in India, right now. Andy: [Unimpressed] Well done. Bye, nerd. Ben Stiller: [Livid] Oh, I'm a nerd?! Andy: Yes, you are. Ben Stiller: I'm a nerd! I've kissed Cameron Diaz, Drew Barrymore! I, uh, I slapped Jennifer Aniston's butt!

Extras (TV series), CC BY-SA 4.0

Andy: Sorry, the reason I'm here is, I want to know what your plan of action is. What's your strategy, what is your business plan? Darren: Well, my plan is, when you get some work, then I can start making some money. 'Cause what I'm no good at, is, you know, breaking an act. Andy: Oh! So, when I'm successful, you can deduct 12.5%, no problem. Darren: 15 for adverts. That's what I'm hanging on for, really. Andy: [incredulous] Yeah? You just want someone to call up and give me an advert? Darren: That would be amazing. That would be brilliant. Andy: Right, OK. Make sure the phone's on the hook, then. Darren: You joke about it; it was unplugged for two days! No one noticed. Tsk!

Extras (TV series), CC BY-SA 4.0

Andy: Ah, and what do you recommend, my good man? Caterer: Chicken's the warmest. Andy: Is it? I'll have that then. Caterer: One chicken. Andy: Your heart isn't in this is it? Oh, but one of your pubes is, I notice! Andy: Ooh, straight in there, no fuss. Caterer: That's not a pube, it's a dog hair. Andy: Oh, it's alright everyone! It's not a pube, it's just a dog hair, that's all. I thought it was a pube, but no. Oh, by the way, if you do happen to find any hairs in your food, he just goes straight in there with his sausage fingers.

Extras (TV series), CC BY-SA 4.0

Andy: Have you talked dirty back to him? Have you? Maggie: No, no, I have not. I don't know what to say to him, it's too embarrassing. What if I say, like, something and he just laughs at me, or something and he, and it's too much and he gets all offended. Andy: Well, no, it's just all stuff like, "Ooh, I'm playing with myself." Kate Winslet: Sounds interesting. Andy: Hi. Not me. Her. Kate Winslet: Go on. Andy: Her boyfriend likes to talk dirty on the phone and she doesn't know what to say to him. Kate Winslet: Oh, yeah, that can be a bit awkward. Well, why don't you just start off with something light, you know, like, um, "I'd love it if you stuck your Willy Wonka between my Oompa Loompas." You know, something a bit fun, a bit jokey. And then you can get more hardcore, rattle off the old classics, like, "I'm playing with my dirty pillows," "I'm aching for your big purple-headed womb-ferret," and then go straight in hard, like, "Get 'round here 'cause I'm fudding myself stupid and I'm

Extras (TV series), CC BY-SA 4.0

Winslet: My God, I'm not doing it for that. I mean, I don't think we really need another film about the Holocaust, do we? It's like, how many have there been, you know? We get it. It was grim. Move on. No, I'm doing it because I've noticed that if you do a film about the Holocaust you're guaranteed an Oscar. I've been nominated four times. Never won. The whole world is going, "Why hasn't Winslet won one?" Andy: Def-yeah Winslet: Right, so... That's why I'm doing it. "Schindler's bloody List." "The Pianist." Oscars coming out of their arse.

Extras (TV series), CC BY-SA 4.0