Quotes

Dialogue

Thor: Now, I know what you're thinking: "Oh, no. Thor's in a cage. How did this happen?" Well, sometimes you have to get captured just to get a straight answer out of something. It's a long story, basically...I'm a bit of a hero. See, I've spent some time on Earth, fought some robots, saved the planet a couple of times. Then I went searching through the cosmos for some magic colorful Infinity Stone things...didn't find any. That's when I came across a path of death and destruction. Which led me all the way here into this cage...where I met you. [Camera shows a skeleton. Its jaw ever so conveniently falls off] How much longer do you think we'll be in here? Surtur: Thor, son of Odin. Thor: Surtur, son of ... a bitch! You're still alive? I thought my father killed you, like....half a billion years ago. Surtur: I cannot die. Not until I fulfill my destiny, and lay waste to your home. Thor: You know, it's funny you should mention that. Because I've been having these terrible dreams of late!

Dialogue

Skurge: [Out of breath, shoving through the crowd] Behold! Thor...Odinson- Loki: [Snaps his fingers] No, no! [Turns and glares at Skurge] You had one job. Just the one! Thor: Where’s Odin? Loki: You just couldn't stay away, could you? Everything was fine without you. Asgard was prospering. You've ruined everything. Ask them. Thor: [moves towards Loki] Where’s Father? Did you kill him? Loki: You had what you wanted. You had the independence you asked for. [Thor presses his hammer against Loki’s chest] Whoa, whoa, whoa! Okay! I know exactly where he is.

Dialogue

Thor: [Examining a piece of a relic] So Earth has...wizards now, huh? [goes to put the piece back, but accidentally knocks more off. He awkwardly tries to put the relic back together] Stephen Strange: I prefer the term "Master of the Mystic Arts". You can leave that now. Thor: All right, wizard. Who are you and why should I care? Strange: My name is Dr. Stephen Strange, and I have some questions for you. Take a seat. Strange: Tea? Thor: [Sees that a cup of tea has appeared in his hand] I don't drink tea. Strange: What do you drink? Thor: Not tea. Strange: So, I keep a watch list of individuals and beings from other realms that may be a threat to this world. Your adopted brother, Loki, is one of these beings. Thor: He's a worthy inclusion. Strange: [While using the magic to refill the beer] Then why bring him here? Thor: We're looking for my father. Strange: So, if I told you where Odin was, all parties concerned would promptly return to Asgard? Thor: Promptly. Strange: Great. Then I'll

Dialogue

Hela: So he's gone. That's a shame, I would have liked to have seen that. Thor: You must be Hela. I'm Thor, son of Odin. Hela: [Disbelieving] Really? You don't look like him. Loki: [Clearly uneasy] Perhaps we can come to an arrangement? Hela: [Snarling] You sound like him. Kneel. Loki: [Affronted] Beg your pardon? Hela: Kneel, before your Queen. Thor: Oho, I don't think so. [Thor hurls Mjölnir at her, only for Hela to catch it in one hand] It's not possible! Hela: [Smiling cruelly] Darling, you have no idea what's possible!

Dialogue

Hela: It's come to my attention that you don't know who I am. I am Hela, Odin's firstborn, commander of the legions of Asgard, the rightful heir to the throne and the Goddess of Death. My father is dead, as are the princes. [raises her hand reassuringly] You're welcome. We were once the seat of absolute power in the cosmos. Our supremacy was unchallenged. Yet Odin stopped at the Nine Realms. Our destiny is to rule over all others. And I am here to restore that power. Kneel before me and rise into the ranks of my great conquest. Hogun: Whoever you are... whatever you've done, surrender now! Or we will show you no mercy. Hela: [Sounding incredibly put out] Whoever I am? Did you listen to a word I said? Hogun: This is your final warning! Hela: I thought you'd be happy to see me. [Forms her headdress] Fine.

Dialogue

Soothing Voice: Fear not, for you are found. You are home... and there is no going back. No one leaves this place. But what is this place? The answer in Sakaar. [The tunnel walls show images of Sakaar's place in the Cosmos.] Surrounded by cosmic gateways, Sakaar lives on the edge of the known and unknown. [Images of the wormholes that cover Sakaar's atmosphere.] It is the collection point for all lost and unloved things. Like you. But here on Sakaar, you are significant. You are valuable. Here, you are loved, and no one loves you more than the Grandmaster. Grandmaster. [Grandmaster, in silhouette, arrives on Sakaar.] He is the original. The first lost, and the first found. The creator of Sakaar and the father of the Contest of Champions. [Aliens in the arena battle to the death.] Where once you were nothing, now you are something. You are the property of the Grandmaster. Congratulations! You will meet the Grandmaster in five seconds. [Images around the tunnel begin speeding up. Chaos,

Dialogue

Hulk: Thor sad. Thor: Shut up. Hulk: [gets out of bed and shoves Thor] Thor sad! Thor: I'm not sad, you idiot. I'm pissed off! Angry, I... [kicks a medal] lost my father! I lost my hammer! Hulk: Oh, whining and crying like a little baby. Thor: AND YOU'RE NOT EVEN LISTENING! [starts angrily kicking things at Hulk] Hulk: Don't kick stuff! [throws bowl at Thor, but he dodges] Thor: YOU'RE BEING A REALLY BAD FRIEND! Hulk: YOU BAD FRIEND! Thor: You know what they call you?! Hulk: No! Thor: They call you a stupid Avenger! Hulk: [enraged; picks up the shield] YOU'RE TINY AVENGER! [throws it, but Thor dodges it] Thor: What are you crazy?! Hulk: [picks up his weapon] Yes! Thor: You know what? Earth does hate you.

Dialogue

Quinjet Computer: Voice activation required. Thor: Thor. Quinjet Computer: Access denied. Thor: Thor, son of Odin. Quinjet Computer: Access denied. Thor: God of Thunder. Quinjet Computer: Access denied. Thor: Strongest Avenger. Quinjet Computer: Access denied. Thor: Strongest. Avenger. Quinjet Computer: Access denied. Thor: Ugh. Damn you, Stark. "Point Break". Quinjet Computer: Welcome, Point Break.

Dialogue

Thor: [Copying Black Widow] Hey, big guy. Sun's getting real low. I don't want to hurt you anymore...there – Loki: [Cheers] YES! That's how it feels! [To the Grandmaster] I'm just a huge fan of the sport.

Dialogue

Thor: Heimdall, I know you can see me. I need you to help me see. Heimdall: I see you, but you're far away. Thor: What's going on? Heimdall: Come see for yourself. Heimdall: I'm providing refuge in a place built by our ancestors. But if the Garrison falls, our only escape is Bifrost. Thor: You're talking about evacuating Asgard. Heimdall: Hela is ravenous. She draws her powers from Asgard. If I let her leave, she'll consume 9 realms and the Cosmos. We need you. Thor: I'm working on it. I don't know where I'm at. Heimdall: You're on a planet surrounded by doorways. Go through one. Thor: Which one?! Heimdall: The big one.

Dialogue

Loki: [Seeing Valkyrie's tattoo] You're a Valkyrie? I thought the Valkyrie all died gruesome deaths? Valkyrie: Chose your next words wisely. Loki: I'm terribly sorry, must be a very painful memory.

Dialogue

Valkyrie: Look. I've spent years, in a haze, trying to forget my past. Sakaar seemed like the best place to drink, and forget and to die, one day. Thor: Well, I was thinking that you drink too much and that was probably going to kill you. Valkyrie: I don't plan to stop drinking...but I don't want to forget. I can't turn away anymore. So, if I'm going to die, well...it may as well be driving my sword through the heart of that murderous hag.

Dialogue

Loki: Surprise. Loki: Ow! Thor: Just making sure.

Dialogue

Thor: Loki, I thought the world of you. I thought we were going to fight side-by-side forever, but at the end of the day, you're you and I'm me. I don't know, maybe there's still some good in you. But let's be honest: our paths diverged a long time ago. Loki: [Sighs] Yeah. It's probably for the best that we never see each other again. Thor: It's what you always wanted. [He claps Loki on the shoulder.] Hey, let's do "Get Help". Loki: [Slightly confused] What? Thor: "Get Help". Loki: [Seeing what Thor is getting at] No. Thor: Come on, you love it. Loki: I hate it! Thor: It's great! It works every time. Loki: It's humiliating! Thor: You got a better plan? Loki: No. Thor: We're doing it. Loki: [Thoroughly exasperated] We are not doing "Get Help"! Thor: GET HELP! Please! My brother's dying! Get help! Help him! [He chucks Loki at the guards, knocking them unconscious.] Ah, classic! Loki: [Stands up looking 100% done with this] Still hate it! It's humiliating! Thor: Well, not for me, it's not

Dialogue

Thor: [Aboard the Commodore] Where are the weapons on this thing?! Valkyrie: THERE AREN'T ANY! IT'S A LEISURE VESSEL! Thor: Say what?! Bruce Banner: DID SHE JUST SAY THE GRANDMASTER USES IT FOR ORGIES?! Thor: [To Banner] Yeah. Better not touch anything.

Dialogue

Korg: Hey, man, I'm Korg. We're gonna get out of here on that big spaceship. Wanna come? Loki: Well, it seems that you are in dire need of leadership. Korg: Thank you!

Dialogue

Thor: Hela! Enough! You want Asgard? It's yours. Hela: Whatever game you're playing, it won't work. You can't defeat me. Thor: No, I know...but he can. Hela: No!

Dialogue

Thor: [The Hulk takes on Surtur] Hulk, stop, you moron! Hulk: [Growls and starts getting back up] Hulk: [Whiny] Big monster! Valkyrie: Let's go! Hulk: [Annoyed, he looks at Surtur, then turns back to Thor and Valkyrie] Fine. [Goes with Thor and Valkyrie, leaving Surtur behind]

Dialogue

Thor: Miek, where are you from? Korg: Oh, Miek's dead. Yeah, no. I accidentally stomped on the bridge, I've just felt so guilty, I've been carrying him around all day. [Miek then moves] Oh, Miek! You're alive. He's alive, guys. What was your question again, bro? Thor: ... Earth it is.

Dialogue

Loki: Do you really think it's a good idea to go back to Earth? Thor: Yes, of course. People on Earth love me, I'm very popular. Loki: Let me rephrase that. Do you really think it's a good idea to bring me back to Earth? Thor: Probably not, to be honest. I wouldn't worry, brother. I feel like everything's going to work out fine.

Dialogue

Oh. Oh. I... I just... I got to say, I'm proud of you all. This revolution has been a huge success. Yay, us! Pat... pat on the back. Pat on the back. Come on. No? Me too. Because I've been a... a big part of it. Can't have a revolution without somebody to overthrow. So, uh, you're welcome. And, uh, it's a tie.