Quotes

Others

Gaear Grimsrud: You're a smooth, smoothie, yah know? Wade Gustafson: It's my money. I'll deliver it - what do they care?...They want my money, they can deal with me. Wade Gustafson: Look, Jerry, you're not selling me a damn car. It's my show here. Mike Yanagita: Ya know, it's the Radisson, so it's pretty good. Mike Yanagita: So ya went and married Norm Son-of-a-Gunderson! Shep Proudfoot: [beating Carl violently] Fucking little fucking weasel! Fuck you! You fucking motherfucking son of a fucking bitching fucking cunt! Jesus fucking Christ you fucking shitfuckbag motherfucker!

Dialogue

Jerry: I'm, uh, Jerry Lundegaard. Carl: You're Jerry Lundegaard? Jerry: Yah. Shep Proudfoot said-- Carl: Shep said you'd be here at 7:30. What gives now? Jerry: [confused] Shep said 8:30. Carl: We've been sitting here an hour. He’s peed three times already. Jerry: Ah, I'm terribly sorry. Shep told me 8:30. It was a mix-up, I guess. Carl: You got the car? Jerry: Yah, you bet! It's in the lot there. Brand-new burnt umber Ciera. Carl: Yeah, okay, well, sit down then. [Jerry takes a seat] I'm Carl Showalter and this is my associate Gaear Grimsrud. Jerry: Yah, how ya doin'. So, we all set on this thing, then? Carl: Sure, Jerry, we're all set. Why wouldn't we be? Jerry: Yah, no, I'm sure you are. Shep vouched for you and all. I got every confidence in you fellas. [smiles at Grimsrud] So, I guess that's it, then. Here are the keys... Carl: No, that's not it, Jerry. Jerry: Huh? Carl: The new vehicle, plus forty thousand dollars. Jerry: Yah, but the deal was, the car first, see, then the forty

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Jerry: - I'm the executive sales manager. Marge: - Yah, but I understand... Jerry: - We run a pretty tight ship here. Marge: - I know, but how do they establish that? Are the cars counted daily, or what kind of a routine here? Jerry: Ma'am! I answered your question. Marge: - I'm sorry, sir? Jerry: - Ma'am, I answered your question. Jerry: I answered the darn damn good question ... I'm cooperating here, and there's no... Marge: Sir, you have no call to get snippy with me. I'm just doing my job here. Jerry: Ok ... Marge: ookie --

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Scotty: [finishing supper] May I be excused? Jerry: Ya done, there? Scotty: Yah. Can I go out? Jean: Where ya goin'? Scotty: Just to McDonald's. Jerry: Be back at 9:30. Wade: He just ate - he didn't finish! He's goin' to MAC-Donalds instead of finishin' here. Jean: He sees his friends there. It's okay. Wade: It's okay? Whaddya think they do there? They don't drink milkshakes, I assure you. Jean: It's okay, Dad! Jerry: Wade, have ya had a chance to think about, uh, that deal I was talkin' about, those forty acres there on Wayzata? Wade: You told me about it. Jerry: Yah, you said you'd have a think about it. I understand it's a lot of money... Wade: A heck of a lot. What'd you say you were gonna put there? Jerry: A lot. It's a limited... Wade: I know it's a lot. Jerry: I mean a parking lot. Wade: Yah, well, seven hundred and fifty thousand dollars is a lot. Jerry: Yah, well, it's a chunk, but... Wade: I used to own a lot myself way back in the late '50's. It's a lotta money. Jerry: Yah,

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Grimsrud: Where is Pancakes House? Carl: What? Grimsrud: We stop at Pancakes House. Carl: What are ya nuts? We had pancakes for breakfast. I want to go somewhere I can get a shot and a beer, and a steak, maybe. No more fuckin' pancakes, c'mon man. C'mon man! Okay here's an idea. We'll stop outside of Brainerd. I know a place there we can get laid. What do ya think? Grimsrud: I'm fuckin' hungry now, you know! Carl: Yeah, yeah. Jesus. I was just saying we could stop, get pancakes, and get laid.

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Irate customer: We sat right here in this room and went over this and over this. Jerry: Ya but that TruCoat- Irate customer: I sat right here and said I didn’t want any TruCoat! Jerry: Ya but I’m saying that TruCoat, you don’t get it, you’ll get oxidation problems. Cost ya a heck of a lot more than $500. Irate customer: You’re sitting there, you’re talking in circles, you’re talking like we didn’t go over this already! Jerry: Ya but this TruCoat- Irate customer: We had a deal here for 19.5 ($19,500) you sat there and darned if you didn’t tell me you’d get me this car, these options, without the sealant for 19.5! Jerry: Alright, I’m not sayin’ I didn’t- Irate customer: Ya called me 20 minutes ago, you said you had it ready to make delivery! You said come on down and get it! And here ya are, and you’re wasting my time and my wife’s time. And I’m paying 19.5 for this vehicle here! Jerry: Alright. I’ll talk to my boss. [Gets up to leave the room.] [Turns to the customer, before leaving] Se

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Jerry: Say, Shep, how ya doin' there? Say, uh, ya know those two fellas ya put me in touch with up there in Fargo? Shep: Put you in touch with Grimsrud. Jerry: Yah, well, he had a buddy there. He, um... Shep: I didn't vouch for him. Jerry: Well, that's okay. Shep: I vouch for Grimsrud. Who's his buddy? Jerry: Uh, Carl somethin'? Shep: Never heard of him. Don't vouch for him. Jerry: Well, that's okay, he's a buddy of the guy ya vouched for, so I'm not worryin'. I just, I was wondering, see, I gotta get in touch with 'em for. See this deal I've been working on, I might not need it anymore, sumpn's happenin', see. Shep: Call 'em up. Jerry: Yah, well, see, I did that, and I haven't been able to get 'em, so I thought you maybe'd know an alternate number or what have you. Shep: Nope. Jerry: [optimistic] Okay! Well, real good, then.

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Carl: Hey, look at that. Twin Cities. That's the IDS Building, the big glass one. Tallest skyscraper in the Midwest - after the uh, Sears, in, uh, Chicago, or John Hancock Building, whatever. You ever been to Minneapolis? Grimsrud: Nope. Carl: Would it kill you to say something? Grimsrud: I did. Carl: "No." That's the first thing you've said in the last four hours. That's a, that's a fountain of conversation, man. That's a geyser. I mean, whoa, daddy, stand back, man. Shit. You know I'm sittin' here drivin', doin' all the drivin', man, the whole fuckin' way from Brainerd, drivin', just tryin' to chat, you know, keep our spirits up, fight the boredom of the road, and you can't say one fuckin' thing just in the way of conversation? Well, fuck it. I don't have to talk either, man. See how you like it. [Pause] Just total fuckin' silence. Two can play at that game, smart guy. We'll just see how you like it. Total silence.

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Deifenbach: Mr. Lundegaard, this is Reilly Deifenbach calling from GMAC. How are you this morning? Jerry: Yah, real good. How you doin'? Deifenbach: Pretty good, Mr. Lundegaard. You're damned hard to get on the phone. Jerry: Yah, it's pretty darned busy here, but that's the way we like it. Deifenbach: That's for sure. Now, I just need, on these last, these financing documents you sent us, I can't read the serial numbers of the vehicles on here, so I-- Jerry: But I already got the, it's okay, the loans are in place, I already got the, the what, the-- Deifenbach: Yeah, the three hundred and twenty thousand, you got the money last month. Jerry: Yah, so we're all set. Deifenbach: Yeah, but the vehicles you were borrowing on, I just can't read the serial numbers on your application. Maybe if you could just read them to me-- Jerry: But the deal's already done, I already got the money. Deifenbach: Yeah, but we have an audit here, I just have to know that these vehicles you're financing with t

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Gaear Grimsrud: [lifts up his mask and looks at the bite as Carl heads up the stairs behind Jean] Unguent. Carl Showalter: What?! Gaear Grimsrud: I need Unguent!

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Jerry Lundegaard: How ya doin' there, Stan? How are ya, Wade? Stan Grossman: Good to see ya again, Jerr'. If these numbers are right, this looks pretty sweet. Jerry Lundegaard: Oh, those numbers are right, all right. Believe me. Wade Gustafson: This is doable. Stan Grossman: Congratulations, Jerry. Jerry Lundegaard: Yah, thanks, Stan, it's a pretty-- Wade Gustafson: What kind of finder's fee were you looking for? Jerry Lundegaard: Huh? Stan Grossman: The financials are pretty thorough, so the only thing we don't know is your fee. Jerry Lundegaard: My fee? Wade, what the heck're you talkin' about? Wade Gustafson: Stan and I're okay. Jerry Lundegaard: Yah. Wade Gustafson: We're good to loan in. Jerry Lundegaard: Yah. Wade Gustafson: But we never talked about your fee for bringin' it to us. Jerry Lundegaard: No, but, Wade, see, I was bringin' you this deal for you to loan me the money to put in. It's my deal here, see? Stan Grossman: Jerry, we thought you were bringin' us an investment. J

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Gaear Grimsrud: [to Jean] Shut the fuck up! Or I'll throw you back into the trunk, you know. Carl Showalter: Geez. That's more'n I've heard you say all week.

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State Trooper: This is a new car, then, sir? Carl: It certainly is, officer. Still got that smell.

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Marge: Okay, so we got a trooper pulls someone over, we got a shooting. These folks drive by, there's a high-speed pursuit, ends here, and then this execution-type deal. Lou: Yah. Marge: I'd be very surprised if our suspect was from Brainerd. Lou: Yah! Marge: And I'll tell you what, from his footprint he looks like a big fella... [bends over] Lou: See somethin' down there, Chief? Marge: No, I just think I'm gonna barf. Lou: Geez. You okay there, Margie? Marge: Yah, I'm fine. [stands up straight] It's just morning sickness. Well, that passed. Lou: Oh yah? Marge: Yah, now I'm hungry again. Lou: You eat breakfast yet, Margie? Marge: Oh yah. Norm made some eggs. Lou: Yah? Well, what now d'ya think? Marge: Lets go take a look at that trooper.

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Lou: The last vehicle that the trooper cited was a tan Ciera at 2:18 AM. Under the plate number, he put DLR - I figure they stopped him or shot him before he could finish fillin' out the tag number... So I got the state lookin' for a Ciera with a tag startin' DLR. They don't got no match yet. Marge: I'm not sure that I agree with you a hundred percent on your policework there, Lou. Lou: Yah? Marge: Yah. I think that vehicle there probably had dealer plates. DLR? Lou: Oh... Geez. Marge: Say Lou. Did ya hear the one about the guy who couldn't afford personalized plates, so he went and changed his name to J3L 2404? Lou: Yah, that's a good one.

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Stan Grossman: Okay. We'll get the money together. Don't worry about it, Jerry. Now, d'you want anyone at home, with you, until they call? Jerry: No, I- they don't want- they're just s'posed to be dealin' with me, they were real clear. Ya know, they said no one listenin' in, they'll be watchin', ya know. Maybe it's all bull, but like you said, Stan, they're callin' the shots. Stan Grossman: Okay. And Scotty, is he gonna be all right? Jerry: Yah... Geez... Scotty. I'll go talk to him.

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Jerry: How ya doin' there, Scotty? Scotty: [crying] Dad... What're they doing? What do ya think they're doin' with Mom? Jerry: It's okay, Scotty. They're not gonna want to hurt her any. These men... they just want money. Scotty: What if... What if sumpn goes wrong, Dad? Jerry: No, no, nothin's goin' wrong here. Grandad and I, we're- we're makin' sure this gets handled right. Scotty: I really think we should call the cops, ya know. Jerry: No. No one can know about this thing. We gotta play ball with these guys. You ask Stan Grossman, he'll tell ya the same thing! Scotty: Yeah, but Dad-- Jerry: We're gonna get Mom back for ya, but we gotta play ball. Ya know, that's the deal. So if Lorraine calls, or Sylvia, you just say that Mom's down in Florida with Pearl and Marty. That's the best we can do here.

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Hooker #2: Yeah, we both did. She went to college too. Hooker #1: I went to Normandale for about a year'n-a-half. Hooker #2: Yah, that's where we met. Hooker #1: But I dropped out though. Hooker #2: Yah, she dropped. Hooker #1: Yah! Marge: So, where you girls from? Hooker #1: Chaska. Hooker #2: Le Sueur. But I went to high school in White Bear Lake. Go Bears. Marge: Okay. I want you to tell me what these fellas looked like. Hooker #1: Well, the little guy, he was kinda funny-looking. Marge: In what way? Hooker #1: I dunno, just funny-lookin'. Marge: Can you be any more specific? Hooker #1: I couldn't really say. He wasn't circumcised. Marge: Was he funny lookin' apart from that? Hooker #1: Yeah. Marge: So, you were having sex with the little fella then? Hooker #1: Uh-huh. Marge: Is there anything else you can tell me about him? Hooker #1: No. Like I say, he was funny lookin'. More n' most people even. Marge: And what about the other fella? Hooker #2: He was a little older. You know, lo

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Jerry Lundegaard: Jerry Lundegaard. Carl Showalter: All right, Jerry, you got this phone to yourself? Jerry Lundegaard: Well... yah. Carl Showalter: Know who this is? Jerry Lundegaard: Well, yah, I got an idea. How's that Ciera workin' out for ya? Carl Showalter: Circumstances have changed, Jerry. Jerry Lundegaard: Well... what do ya mean? Carl Showalter: Things have changed. Circumstances, Jerry. Beyond the, uh, acts of God, force majeure- Jerry Lundegaard: What the... how's Jean? Carl Showalter: Who's Jean? Jerry Lundegaard: My wife! What the- how's... Carl Showalter: Oh, Jean's okay, but there's three people up in Brainerd who aren't so okay, I'll tell ya that. Jerry Lundegaard: What the heck're you talkin' about? Let's just finish up this deal here - Carl Showalter: Blood has been shed, Jerry. Jerry Lundegaard: What the heck ya mean? Carl Showalter: Three people. In Brainerd. Jerry Lundegaard: Oh, geez. Carl Showalter: That's right and we need more money. Jerry Lundegaard: The heck

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Officer Olson: Hiya, Norm. How ya doin' Margie? How's the fricassee? Marge: Pretty darn good, ya want some? Officer Olson: No, I gotta-- hey, Norm, I thought you were goin' fishin' up at Mille Lacs? Norm: Yah, after lunch. Officer Olson: Ah. Marge: Whatcha got there? Officer Olson: The numbers y'asked for. Calls made from the lobby pay phone at the Blue Ox. Two to Minneapolis that night. First one's a trucking company, second one's a private residence. A Shep Proudfoot. Marge: Uh-huh... A what? Officer Olson: Shep Proudfoot. That's a name. Marge: Oh. Yah, okay, I think I'll drive down there, then. Officer Olson: Oh, yah? Twin Cities? Norm: [to Marge] Oh yah?

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Wade Gustafson: Damn it! I wanna be a part of this thing! Jerry Lundegaard: No, Wade! They were real clear! They said they'd call tomorrow with instructions and it's gonna be delivered by me alone! Wade Gustafson: It's my money, I'll deliver it - what do they care? Stan Grossman: Wade's got a point there. I'll handle the call if you want, Jerry. Jerry Lundegaard: No, no. See - they, no, see, they only deal with me. Ya feel this, this nervousness on the phone there, they're very - these guys're dangerous. Wade Gustafson: All the more reason! I don't want you - with all due respect, Jerry, I don't want you mucking this up. Jerry Lundegaard: The heck ya mean? Wade Gustafson: They want my money, they can deal with me. Otherwise I'm goin' to a professional. There's a million dollars here! Jerry Lundegaard: No, see - Wade Gustafson: Look, Jerry, you're not sellin' me a damn car! It's my show here. That's that. Stan Grossman: It's the way we prefer to handle it, Jerry.

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Attendant: Hi. Carl: Yeah, I decided not to park here. Attendant: What do you mean? You decided not to park here? Carl: Yeah, I just came in. I decided not to park here. Attendant: You, uh... I'm sorry, sir, but-- Carl: I decided not to... I'm, uh, not taking the trip as it turns out. Attendant: I'm sorry, sir, we do have to charge you the four dollars. Carl: I just pulled in here. I just fuckin' pulled in here! Attendant: Well, see, there's a minimum charge of four dollars. Long-term parking charges by the day. Carl: I guess you think, ya know, you're some kind of an authority figure. With that stupid fucking uniform. Huh, buddy? King Clip-on Tie here. Big fucking man, huh? You know, these are the limits of your life, man. Ruler of your little fucking gate here. There's your four dollars, you pathetic piece of shit.

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Marge: So, do you remember getting a call last Wednesday night? Shep: Nope. Marge: Well, you do reside their at 1425 Fremont Terrace? Shep: Yep. Marge: Anyone else residing there? Shep: No. Marge: Well, Mr. Proudfoot, this call came in past three in the morning. It's just hard for me to believe you can't remember anyone calling. Now, I know you've had some problems, struggling with the narcotics, some other entanglements, currently on parole... Shep: So? Marge: Well, associating with criminals, if you're the one they talked to, that right there would be a violation of your parole. And would end with you back in Stillwater. Now, I saw some rough stuff on your priors, but nothing in the nature of a homicide. I know you don't want to be an accessory to something like that. So you think you might remember who those folks were who called ya?

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Marge: Mr. Lundegaard? Jerry: Huh? Yah? Marge: Could take just a minute of your time here? Jerry: What- What is it all about? Marge: Hmm? Do you mind if I sit down? I'm carrying quite a load here. You're the owner here, Mr. Lundegaard? Jerry: Naw, I... Executive Sales Manager. Marge: Well, you can help me. My name's Marge Gunderson-- Jerry: My father-in-law, he's the owner. Marge Gunderson: Uh-huh! Well, I'm a police officer from up Brainerd investigating some malfeasance and I was just wondering if you've had any new vehicles stolen off the lot in the past couple of weeks? Specifically a tan Cutlass Ciera? [Jerry just stares at her] Mr. Lundegaard? Jerry: [smiles] Brainerd? Marge: Yah. Yah. Home a Paul Bunyan and Babe the Blue Ox. Jerry: Babe the Blue Ox. [laughs] Marge: Yah, ya know we've got the big statue there. So, you haven't had any vehicles go missing then? Jerry: [smiles] Nope. No, ma'am. Marge: Okey-dokey, thanks a bunch. I'll let you get back to your paperwork then.

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Mike: Marge!? Marge: Mike! Mike: Geez! Oh, you look great! [awkwardly hugs Marge] Marge: Yah, easy there, you do too! I'm expecting, ya know. Mike: I see that! That's great! Oh, what can I get ya? Marge: Just a Diet Coke, please. [they take a seat at the booth] This is a nice place. Mike: Yah, ya know it's the Radisson, so it's pretty good. Marge: So, you're livin' in Edina, now? Mike: Oh, yah, couple years now. It's actually Eden Prairie, that school district. So Chief Gunderson, then! So ya went and married Norm Son-of-a-Gunderson! Marge: Oh, yah, a long time ago. Mike: Great. So, uh, what brings ya down. Are ya down here on that homicide if you're allowed, ya know, to discuss that? Marge: Oh, yah, but there's not a heck of a lot to discuss. So, what about you, Mike? Are you married? You got kids? Mike: Well, uh, I was married. I was married to- You mind if I sit over here? [slids out of his side of the booth and eases in next to Marge] I was married to Linda Cooksey. Marge: No, I...

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Female Escort: So, you from around here? Carl: Just in town on business. Just in and out. A little of the old in-and-out. Female Escort: What do ya do? Carl: Have ya been to the Celebrity Room before? With other, uh, clients? Female Escort: I don't think so. It's nice. Carl: Yeah, well, it depends on the artist. You know, José Feliciano, ya got no complaints. Waiter! What is he deaf? So, how long you been with the escort service? Female Escort: I don't know, a few months. Carl: Find that work interesting, do ya? Female Escort: What're ya talkin' about?

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Jerry Lundegaard: [answers the phone] Yah? Carl Showalter: All right, Jerry, I'm through fucking around! You got the fucking money? Jerry Lundegaard: Yah, I got the money, but, uh - Carl Showalter: Don't you fucking "but" me, Jerry! I want you with this money on the Dayton-Radisson parking ramp, top level, thirty minutes, and we'll wrap this up! Jerry Lundegaard: Yah, okay, but, uh - Carl Showalter: You're there in thirty minutes or I find you, Jerry, and I shoot you, and I shoot your fucking wife, and I shoot all your little fucking children, and I shoot 'em all in the back of their little fucking heads! Got it? Jerry Lundegaard: Okay, now you stay away from Scotty now. Carl Showalter: Got it?! Jerry Lundegaard: Okay. Real good then.

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Carl: Who the fuck are you?! WHO THE FUCK ARE YOU! Wade: I've got your damn money! Now where's my daughter? Carl: I am through fuckin' around! Drop that fuckin' briefcase! Wade: Where's my daughter!? Carl: Fuck you man! Where the fuck's Jerry?! I gave simple fuckin' instructions! Wade: Where's my damn daughter? No Jean, no money! Carl: Drop that fucking money! Wade: No Jean, no money! Carl: Is this a fuckin' joke here? [pulls out his gun and shoots Wade] Wade: [falls down] Ohhhhh jeeeeez... Carl: Happy now, fuckhole? What the fuck's with you fucking people?! Ya fucking imbeciles! Carl: OW! Fuckin' shot me! [uses his left hand to staunch his bleeding cheek while he stands up, awkwardly aims his gun at Wade, and shoots him eight more times]

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Attendant: May I have your ticket please? [He sees Carl's bloody face] Carl Showalter: Open the fucking gate!

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Mr. Mohra: How ya doin'? Officer Olson: Mr. Mohra? Mr. Mohra: Yah. Officer Olson: Officer Olson. Mr. Mohra: Yah, right-o. Well, so, I'm tendin' bar down there at Ecklund & Swedlund's last Tuesday and this little guy's drinkin' and he says, 'So where can a guy find some action? I'm goin' crazy out there at the lake.' And I says, 'What kinda action?' And he says, 'Woman action, what do I look like?' And I says, 'Well, what do I look like? I don't arrange that kinda thing.' And he says, 'But I'm goin' crazy out there at the lake,' and I says, 'Yah, but this ain't that kinda place.' Officer Olson: Uh-huh. Mr. Mohra: He says, 'Oh, so I get it, so you think I'm some kinda jerk for askin',' only he don't use the word "jerk". Officer Olson: I understand. Mr. Mohra: Then he calls me a jerk and says the last guy who thought he was a jerk is dead now. So, I don't say nothin'. He says, 'What do ya think about that?' And I says, 'Well, that don't sound like too good a deal for him, then.' Officer O

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Marge: [on the phone] No, I'm leavin' this mornin', back up to Brainerd. Det. Sibert: Well, I'm sorry I won't see ya. Marge: But ya think he's all right? I saw him last night and he's - Det. Sibert: What'd he say? Marge: Well, it was nothin' specific he said, it just seemd like it all hit him really hard, his wife dyin' - Det. Sibert: His wife? Marge: Linda. Det. Sibert: Who? Marge: Linda Cooksey. Det. Sibert: No! No. No, they weren't - he, uh, he was bothering Linda for about, oh, for a good year. Really pestering her, wouldn't leave her alone. Marge: So, they didn't... Det. Sibert: No. No, they never married. Mike's had psychiatric problems. Marge: Oh. Oh, my. Det. Sibert: Yah, he's been struggling. He's living with his parents now. Marge: Oh, geez. Det. Sibert: Yah, Linda's fine. You should call her. Marge Gunderson: Geez. Well... geez, that's a surprise.

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Marge Gunderson: Mr. Lundegaard? Sorry to bother you again. Can I come in? Jerry Lundegaard: Yah, no, I'm kinda - I'm kinda busy here. Marge Gunderson: I understand. I'll keep it real short, then. I'm on my way out of town, but I was just - Do you mind if I sit down? I'm carrying a bit of a load here. Jerry Lundegaard: No, I - Marge Gunderson: Yah, it's this vehicle I asked you about yesterday. I was just wondering - Jerry Lundegaard: Yah, like I told ya, we haven't had any vehicles go missing. Marge Gunderson: Okay! Are ya sure? Cause, I mean, how do you know? Because, see, the crime I'm investigating, the perpetrators were driving a car with dealer plates, and they called someone who works here. So it'd be quite a coincidence if they weren't - ya know - connected! Jerry Lundegaard: Yah, I see. Marge Gunderson: So how do you - have you done any kind of inventory recently? Jerry Lundegaard: The car's not from our lot, ma'am. Marge Gunderson: But do you know that for sure without - Jerr

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Carl: [force-laughs] You should see the other guy. [He sees Jean slumped to the floor, dead] The fuck happened to her? Grimsrud: Uh, she started shrieking, ya know. Carl: Jeezus. Oh. Well, I got the money. All of it. All eighty grand. Forty for you, forty for me. That's it, then. [Sets keys on table] You can have my truck. I'm takin' the Ciera. Grimsrud: We split that. Carl: How the fuck do ya split a fuckin' car, ya dummy?! With a fuckin' chainsaw?! Grimsrud: One of us pays the other for half. Carl: Hold on. No fuckin' way! You fuckin' notice this?! [motions to his bullet wound] I got fuckin' shot!! I got fuckin' shot in the face!! I went and got the fuckin' money! I got shot fuckin' pickin' it up! I've been up for thirty-six fuckin' hours! I'm takin' that fuckin' car! That fucker's mine, ya fuckin' asshole. Ya know, I've been listenin' to your fuckin' bullshit all week. Are we square? [Gaear does not respond. Carl indicates his gun.] Are we square? [Gaear does not respond.] Yeah, ya

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Lou: [voice from cop scanner] His wife. This guy says she was kidnapped last Wednesday. Marge Gunderson: The day of our homicides. Lou: Yah. Marge Gunderson: And this guy is who? Lou: Lundegaard's father-in-law's accountant. Marge: Gustafson's accountant. Lou: Yah. Marge Gunderson: But we still haven't found Gustafson. Lou: [crackle] ...looking... Marge Gunderson: Sorry, didn't copy that Lou. Lou: Still missing. We're looking. Marge Gunderson: Copy. And Lundegaard too. Lou: Yah. Where are ya, Margie? Marge Gunderson: Oh, I'm almost back. I'm driving around Moose Lake. Lou: Oh. Gary's loudmouth. Marge Gunderson: Yah, the loudmouth. So the whole state has it, huh. Lundegaard and Gustafson? Lou: Yah, it's over the wire, it's everywhere, they'll find 'em. Marge Gunderson: Copy. Lou: We've got a - Marge Gunderson: There's the car! There's the car! Lou: Whose car? Marge Gunderson: My car! My car! Tan Ciera! Tan Ciera!

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Norm: They announced it. Marge: They announced it? Norm: Yah. Marge: So? Norm: Three-cent stamp. Marge: Your mallard? Norm: Yah. Marge: Why that's terrific! Norm: It's just the three-cent. Marge: It's terrific. Norm: Hautman's blue-winged teal got the twenty-nine cent. People don't much use the three-cent. Marge: Oh, for Pete's sake, of course they do! Whenever they raise the postage, people need the little stamps. Norm: Yah? Marge: When they're stuck with a bunch of the old ones. Norm: Yah, I guess. Marge: That's terrific. I'm so proud of ya, Norm. Heck, Norm, you know we're doin' pretty good. Norm: I love you, Margie. Marge: I love you, Norm. Norm: Two more months. Marge: Two more months.