The Hangover

Phil: Tracy, it's Phil. Tracy: Phil, where the hell are you guys? I'm freaking out. Phil: Yeah, listen. Uh... we fucked up. Tracy: What are you talking about? Phil: The bachelor party-- The whole night-- Things got outta control, and, uh…we lost Doug. Tracy: What? Phil: We can't find Doug. Tracy: What are you saying, Phil? We're getting married in five hours! Phil: Yeah. That's not gonna happen.

The Hangover, CC BY-SA 4.0

Sid: Remember, what happens in Vegas stays in Vegas. Doug: Ah! Sid: Except for herpes. That shit'll come back with ya.

The Hangover, CC BY-SA 4.0

Alan: I want you to know, Doug, I'm a steel trap. Whatever happens tonight, I will never, ever, ever speak a word of it. Doug: Okay. I got it. Thank you. I don't think that... Alan: Seriously. I don't care what happens. I don't care if we kill someone. Doug: What? Alan: You heard me. It's Sin City. I won't tell a soul. Doug: Okay. I got it. Thank you. Alan: No, thank you. [the two future in-laws embrace] I love you so much.

The Hangover, CC BY-SA 4.0

Doug: All good with Melissa? Stu: Oh, yeah. Told her we're two hours outside of wine country, and she bought it. Phil: Don't you think it's strange that you've been in a relationship for three years, and you still have to lie about going to Vegas? Stu: Yeah, I do. But trust me, it's not worth the fight. Phil: Oh, so you can't go to Vegas, but she can fuck a bellhop on a Carnival Cruise Line? Stu: Okay. First of all, he was a bartender. And she was wasted. And, if you must know, he didn't even cum inside her. Phil: And you believe that? Stu: Uh, yeah, I do believe that, because she's grossed out by semen.

The Hangover, CC BY-SA 4.0

Alan: I like to say somethin' that I prepared tonight. Stu: All right, Alan. Alan: [extracts a sheet of paper; presents his speech] Hello. How 'bout that ride in? I guess that's why they call it Sin City. You guys might not know this, but I consider myself a bit of a loner. I tend to think of myself as a one-man wolf pack. But when my sister brought Doug home, I knew he was one of my own. And my wolf pack, it grew by one. So, there were two of us in the wolf pack. I was alone first in the pack, and then Doug joined in later. And six months ago, when Doug introduced me to you guys, I thought, "Wait a second, could it be?" And now I know for sure, I just added two more guys to my wolf pack. Four of us wolves, running around the desert together, in Las Vegas, looking for strippers and cocaine. So tonight, I make a toast! [pulls out a pocket knife] Stu: What?! Doug: Whattaya got there? Phil: What the fuck?! Stu: What is that?! Alan: Blood brothers.

The Hangover, CC BY-SA 4.0

Phil: [sees Alan with his new satchel] You're not really wearin' that, are you? Alan: Wearin' what? Phil: The man purse. You actually gonna wear that, or you guys just fuckin' with me? Alan: It's where I keep all my things. Get a lot of compliments on this. Plus it's not a man purse. It's called a satchel. Indiana Jones wears one. Phil: So does Joy Behar.

The Hangover, CC BY-SA 4.0