Quotes

Dialogue

[first lines of the film; narrating] For as long as can be remembered, storks delivered babies... [We see the tower called "Stork Mountain" as the storks fly out to deliver babies] From their perch on Stork Mountain. [We see clouds as a silhouette stork is flying] It was an honor and a privilege to serve. [We see a stork flying while holding a blonde-haired brown skinned baby with a white blanket] It was our duty, our core belief the driving force of our very lifeblood.

Dialogue

Toady: [shows Junior a picture of a Goose on his phone] Check out my girlfriend! She's in Canada! Junior: Yeah huh. Toady: She migrated, she's not made up. Junior: Okay. Toady: [waving his phone around] Look at her, look at her! She exists, brah! Junior: That's great.

Dialogue

Hunter: Junior, you know why I built my office entirely out of glass even though birds can't see glass? Junior: I do not. Hunter: Power move. 18 years ago, I saved all storks by getting out of babies and into package delivery. Now, this Monday at Storkcon, the board will announce they're kicking me upstairs.. I'm going to be named Chairman. Which means you are going to be named boss.

Dialogue

Junior: Excuse me! Orphan Tulip? Tulip: Junior, you're talking to me? Junior: Yes, Orphan Tulip! Tulip: No, it's ju- Uh, it's just that you never talk to me. Junior: Well, yeah, that's changing starting today, Orphan Tulip. Tulip: Oh, uh, Tulip is just fine, Orphan hurts my heart.

Dialogue

Junior: Oh boy. Uh, Tulip, OK. I have news for you. Tulip: Before you finish, for you to come to wish me a happy birthday, that's just the nicest, you know it's like a little rainbow. So, thank you. [sniffs] That's really nice. But, oh, I'm sorry, I interrupted you. What were you gonna tell me? Junior: Uh...Oh boy. I have wonderful news for you. You have been liberated. Tulip: What does that mean? Junior: Well, it means that you are [softly, faster] fired. Tulip: What? Junior: You're fir...[stuttering; grunting] Tulip: Are you okay? Junior: Excuse me. You're fi...You're fantasic! Tulip: Really? Because I just blew up the most of the factory. Junior: Oh yeah. What a twist. Um...Well, it means [a scene pans over the baby factory] Oh!

Dialogue

Henry: Gardner Real Estate. Henry... Sarah: ...And Sarah... Both: Gardner! A house is not a home without a Gardner! [laughs] Nate: Ninja Commander, where are you? Henry: Uh, can you hold one second? Nate: You promised me that we were taking down Dr. LeFreeze this afternoon. You didn't show up, and now he controls most of Western Europe. Ethnic tension is on the rise. Henry: Yeah...We're totally done after this call, okay? Nate: Really? Henry: Five more minutes. Sarah: And then we'll stop. Both: We promise.

Dialogue

Nate: Mom! Dad! the storks are bringing me a baby brother! Henry: [yawns] That sounds like a nice dream, buddy. Sarah: Let's go back to sleep, honey. Nate: This is the best day of my life!

Dialogue

[seeing white powder on the floor] Powduh? [brushes some into the air, tastes a bit of the powder] Baby Powduh!

Dialogue

Tulip: [singing] Baby, what are we gonna call you, baby? This is crazy! We're delivering a baby! Junior: No, we're delivering a package. Maybe we should name it instead of calling the package. We do not name the package, OK? We make a plan, stick to the plan, always deliver. And we get back to Storkcon, so, the board can name me boss. Tulip: Whoa, it's so exciting! What can we expect from boss Junior? Junior: [lowers Tulip's hand] Oh, you know it's top secret. [guffaws] Tulip: You can tell me, come on. Junior: It's gonna be big. Tulip: Like, what? Like what? How big? Like, what are you gonna do? Junior: I prefer we're gonna talk about it right now. Tulip: Do you not know? Junior: What? Tulip: Oh, my gosh, you don't know. Junior: [offscreen] I know. Tulip: [gasps] If you don't know, why do you want to be boss? Junior: I know. Tulip: You don't? [laughing with Junior] All man, you laugh when you're uncomfortable. Junior: [laughing] No. Tulip: Am I pushing your buttons? Junior: Uh, no. Tul

Dialogue

Tulip: Look at the baby! Junior: NO! Just a brief exposure to baby cuteness can ruin your life! Tulip and Junior: Awww!

Dialogue

If this baby finds her family, then maybe I can find mine.

Dialogue

Alpha Wolf: I'm gonna devour this thing! Beta Wolf: I'm gonna bite her arm clean off.

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Junior: Suck it, wolves! Alpha Wolf: Wolf Pack, form a wolf bridge! Junior: What is happening? Tulip: The wolves are forming a suspension bridge. Junior: How is that possible? Tulip: I don't know.

Dialogue

Wolf Pack, form a wolf submarine!

Dialogue

Nate and Henry: Five more minutes and then we stop. Sarah: [shocked] What?! Nate and Henry: Five more minutes... Sarah: [off-screen] No! [As Henry accidentally throws a sledge hammer away, crashes] That's our chimney, you're gonna destroy the whole roof?! Nate: Mom, we have to replace the chimney with a slide for when the storks deliver my baby brother. Henry: What he said. Sarah: No. Don't be crazy. You cannot do the chimney. Come on, don't make me the mean mom. Nate: Dads are fun, moms are mean. Henry: I heard that! Sarah: Parent conference. [As she pinches Henry's ear] Henry: Pinching. Sarah: Henry, people are gonna think we're crazy. We need to tell him. Henry: Tell him what? What, to go watch more TV? This is the best time I've had with Nate in my life. I actually feel like a dad again. Sarah: And when no baby brother shows up? Henry: Well, then we tell him. We can get a new chimney, but we'll never be able to replace this time with Nate. And if we put those headsets back on, how

Dialogue

We're not like a family; we're just a guy and girl trying to put a baby to sleep.

Dialogue

Junior: My old nemesis: glass! Tulip: [gasps] Birds can't see glass!

Dialogue

Policeman: This is not code. Nate: [Henry and Sarah gasp] What?! Policeman: It's all have come down. Junior: [Hunter opens the door; gasps] Hunter? Hunter: You're fired. Junior: [stammers] But, but-but-but... Hunter: [mockingly] "But, but-but-but-but..." You are so idiotic. How were you not suspicious? [the screen zooms out to reveal a fake house in front of two warehouses] Junior: I thought this was a gentrifying neighborhood. Toady: Didn't expect to see you here, brah! Oh, yes, I did. I set it up. Hunter: Seize the thing! Junior: Wait, no! Not the baby! Hunter: Don't worry, she's gonna be fine. She's with penguins. There are whole documentaries about how great they are at baby-sitting! Hunter: And she'll be an excellent swimmer. And then when she's old enough, we'll return her to the human world. Junior: That's insane! You need to deliver her! Hunter: We can't let it get out that we accidentally made a baby! Our stock would plummet everything we've built. My entire company will fall

Dialogue

Junior: Put down that baby! Penguin: Shhh!