Batman Returns

Penguin: Ah, what have we here?... [takes out a flask, opening it and pouring an eerie green liquid out that dissolves a slab of stone] A batch of toxic waste, from your "clean textile plant". There's a whole lagoon of this crud in the back! [sets aside flask] Max: That could've come from anywhere. Penguin: What about the documents that prove you own half the firetraps in Gotham City? Max: If there were such documents, and that's not an admission, I would have seen to it they were shredded. Penguin: [grins] Good idea... [shows shredded papers stuck back together] A lot of tape and a little patience make all the difference. By the way, how's Fred Adkins, your old partner? Max: Fred? Fred's actually...I believe he's on extended vacation. He's, uh, he's good. Penguin: [chuckles sinisterly] "Good"... [pulls out a severed hand, goes into scary voice] "Hiya, Max! Remember me?! I'm Fred's hand! Yeah, you wanna greet any other body parts?!" [normal] Remember, Max: you flush it, I flaunt it. Ma

Batman Returns, CC BY-SA 4.0

Security Guard 1: Who is she? Security Guard 2: What is she? I don't know whether to open fire or fall in love... Catwoman: You poor guys. Always confusing your pistols with your privates. [disarms both guards with her whip] Security Guard 1: Don't hurt us, lady! Our take-home's less than $300! Catwoman: You're overpaid. Hit the road!

Batman Returns, CC BY-SA 4.0

Batman: Admiring your handiwork? Penguin: Touring the riot scene. Gravely assessing the devastation. Upstanding mayor stuff. Batman: You're not the mayor. Penguin: Things change. Batman: What do you want? Penguin: Ah, the direct approach. I admire that in a man with a mask! [laughs, then turns serious] You don't really think you'll win, do you? Batman: Things change. Catwoman: Meow. Penguin: [to Batman] I saw her first. Gotta fly! [activates his helicopter umbrella and rises away, waving cheerfully]

Batman Returns, CC BY-SA 4.0

Catwoman: Did somebody say Fish? I haven't been fed this morning. Batman: Eat floor. It'll be good for you; high in fiber.

Batman Returns, CC BY-SA 4.0

Penguin: My babies...did you miss me? Red Triangle Thin Clown: Great speech, Oswald! Penguin: [punches him aside with his umbrella] MY NAME IS NOT OSWALD! IT'S PENGUIN!! I AM NOT A HUMAN BEING!!! I AM AN ANIMAL!!! COLD-BLOODED!!! CRANK THE A.C.!!! WHERE ARE MY LISTS?! BRING ME THE NAMES!!! [a henchman passes him some papers, which he gives to everyone] Ah! It's time...These are the names of the firstborn sons of Gotham City, just like I was. And like me, a terrible fate waits for them. Tonight, while their parents party, they'll be dreaming away in their safe cribs, their soft beds - AND WE WILL SNATCH THEM, CARRY THEM INTO THE SEWER, AND TOSS THEM INTO A DEEP, DARK WATERY GRAVE...! Red Triangle Fat Clown: [last words] Erm...Penguin? I mean, killing sleeping children...isn't that a little, uh...? Penguin: [shoots clown with gun umbrella] No! It's a LOT "uh"! [kicks the dead henchman into the sewage river]

Batman Returns, CC BY-SA 4.0

Max Shreck: Ingenious costume, let me guess. Trust-fund goody-goody. Bruce Wayne: Feeling good, huh? Yeah, well, you almost made a monster of the Mayor of Gotham City. Shreck: I am the light of this city...and I am its mean, twisted soul. Does it matter who's Mayor? Wayne: It does to me. Shreck: Yawn.

Batman Returns, CC BY-SA 4.0