Quotes

Dialogue

Waiter: Just pay up and get out of here. Leprechaun: So it's me gold you be wanting? Waiter: Gold Card, Visa, Master, I'd prefer cash, but maybe you're a little short. [Laughs hysterically] Aw, you kill me! Leprechaun: Now there's an idea!

Dialogue

Bridget: How did you know it wasn't me you gave the coin to before? Cody: He kisses differently than you.

Dialogue

Cody: You can't drive the tour. Morty: Why not? Cody: Because you're plastered! Morty: What difference does that make? Now, never forget rule number one. Cody: I know, never turn down a paying customer. Morty: I may be a little loose, but I am not so far gone that I would turn away a packed hearse. [Drunkenly tries to exit the bathroom, but walks into a toilet] Of course, there's always rule number two. Cody: Which is? Morty: Never kill a paying customer.

Dialogue

Cody: You should've been an actor. Morty: There's no money in it.

Dialogue

Morty: The cops are looking for you every place. They found this dead kid at Bridgette's. She's gone, everybody says you did it. Cody: Me?! That's crazy! Morty: That's what I told the cops. Now what the hell happened? Cody: A leprechaun did it. Morty: Maybe I should call the cops.

Dialogue

Morty: Maybe I should've kept you away from all this supernatural stuff. Cody: He dropped a rack of pots on my head Morty. Morty: Oh, well now I'm convinced.

Dialogue

Cody: [An angry woman chases Cody's tour bus away from her house] Oh by the way, that was the final resting place of Bela Lugosi. Tourist: Then who the hell was that? Cody: Um, his stepdaughter Stella Lugosi.

Dialogue

The Leprechaun: What do you think of your bridal chamber? Bridget: It... it's awful! The Leprechaun: Now I know it lacks a woman's touch, but you'll change that.

Dialogue

Leprechaun: Do you wish me out of the safe? Morty: Yes, goddammit! I wish you out of the safe! Where the hell are you?! The Leprechaun: You have to open the door. It's wrought iron. Remember? Didn't you read the book?

Dialogue

Morty: [Dying] Help me. The Leprechaun: Love to, friend, but you're all out of wishes. [Cruelly chuckles]

Dialogue

Morty: I should've returned this book to the library five years ago! I don't know what you saw, but leprechauns don't exist! The Leprechaun: What's that ya say? Leprechauns don't exist?

Dialogue

Cody: Everything is a scam to you, isn't it? Morty: Damn right.

Dialogue

The Leprechaun: It's the seventeenth of March. The feast of St. Patrick! William O'Day: And your birthday. The Leprechaun: 'Tis a special birthday for a leprechaun. I'm one thousand years old. Tonight, I can claim me bride.

Dialogue

Morty: Okay so you found a gold coin and it's old and it looks just like the one in this book. It's probably worth some cash, but this leprechaun stuff... Cody: Listen, it says "Leprechauns are devious creatures. They live for trickery, even get pleasure out of it". Morty: Cody, if you were taking some dope you would tell me, right?