Veep, season 3

[to Dan] You have more nervous tics than a shoe bomber.

Veep (season 3), CC BY-SA 4.0

Dan: [as Amy pulls a phone out of her panties] You keep a second phone there? Hypocritical... and horny. Photographer: One... two... Amy: Shit on my tits! Maddox just resigned.

Veep (season 3), CC BY-SA 4.0

Jonah: Ah! You guys are just like two little pretty Easter eggs. I'd love to crack you open. Dan: Hey, Hepatitis J. How's that pic you posted on your blog going, huh? Jonah: It's a hashtag hurricane, bitch tits. Dan: You don't think maybe you should take that down? Jonah: You don't think you should go fist a chimp?

Veep (season 3), CC BY-SA 4.0

Jonah: Sir, please, don't take this away from me. The West Wing is part of my DNA, and vice-versa. Okay, this is a teachable moment, and I think from here on... Kent: You're embarrassing yourself. Jonah: Sir, I don't have anything else in my life. Dan: He really doesn't. Jonah: See? Exactly. Thank you, Dan...(angrily): Fuck you, Dan! Kent: That'll be all, Mr. Ryan. Jonah: Sir, did POTUS okay this? Kent: Get him out of here!

Veep (season 3), CC BY-SA 4.0

You think you've seen the end of Jonah Ryan? You haven't even seen the start of Jonah Ryan! I'm leaving here with my head held high, and my nuts hanging low on your mom's chin, Martin.

Veep (season 3), CC BY-SA 4.0

Gary: About the campaign, I had an idea. Selina: [handing him a used sanitary wipe] Here you go. Gary: Instead of doing all this pre-campaigning, sometime in the next 24 hours, you grab a mic, you say, "I'm Selina Meyer, and I'm running for President of the United States." Selina: I'm just gonna use the bathroom really quick. Dan: You don't announce your candidacy while the incumbent is still warm. That's like trying to bang the widow at the funeral. You would have hear start her campaign with no strategy, no money, no staff except for [indicating himself...] Superman and [...and Amy] Wonder Woman over there, just, [super-cutesy] "I wanna be President." Gary: Ma'am, I don't know if you just heard what he was saying... Selina: No, I didn't hear what he was saying, but I agree with Dan. I completely appreciate your ideas, Gary. Dan: No matter how dumb they are.

Veep (season 3), CC BY-SA 4.0