Kick-Ass 2

Dave: I wanna team up, like Batman and Robin. Mindy: Nobody wants to be Robin. Dave: What's wrong with Robin? Weren't you like Big Daddy's Robin? Mindy: Robin wishes he was me. Dave: What I'm trying to say is, we should be partners. You and me, like the Dynamic Duo. Mindy: I'm in the NFL, Dave. You play pee-wee. Dave: So, train me. I wanna walk the walk, and you're the closest thing I know to a real superhero. Aren't you tired of being on your own? Don't you wanna know someone's there for you? Someone who's got your back? Mindy: And you'll do anything I say? Dave: Anything. Mindy: Hit me. Dave: You're a fifteen-year-old girl... [Mindy slaps him] What the hell? Mindy: Act like a bitch, get slapped like a bitch. Dave: Oh, God.

Kick-Ass 2 (film), CC BY-SA 4.0

Dave: [narrating] Mindy beat me like morning wood, every day for three weeks. Mindy: Come on, guard up! Left, right. Guard up! Dave: [narrating] Even with my damaged nerve endings, it hurt like hell. In a weird way, I kinda liked it. It gave me a sense of purpose.

Kick-Ass 2 (film), CC BY-SA 4.0

Chris D'Amico: What the hell, Mom? Did you delete the news off the DVR? Mrs. D'Amico: Yes. Yes I did, Christopher. Chris D'Amico: That was the one with Kick-Ass! Mrs. D'Amico: Ugh, Christopher! You've got to stop obsessing over this superhero! Chris D'Amico: He is not a superhero, Mom. He's a murderer! He blew Dad up with a bazooka, for heaven's sake! Mrs. D'Amico: [making sign of the cross] Your father died in a fire. Chris D'Amico: A fire?!! What is your problem? Mrs. D'Amico: You! You are my problem! I am trying to raise you to be a normal boy. That's why we moved to Long Island after your father's accident. Chris D'Amico: A bazooka is not an accident, you delusional bitch! Mrs. D'Amico: This conversation is over! Chris D'Amico: Great! Then, I'm leaving. come on, Javier, be cool. Javier: Sorry, Chris, but your mom pays me not to be cool. Chris D'Amico: I hate you! You home-school me like I'm a prisoner! You threw away my Red Mist costume. God! I am not the problem! You are! I wish y

Kick-Ass 2 (film), CC BY-SA 4.0

Hit-Girl: If I ever catch you robbing again, shit-burger, I'm gonna go Saudi Arabia on your ass and cut your hand off. Promise me you're done with your life of crime? Thug: I-I promise. Hit-Girl: Pants on fire.

Kick-Ass 2 (film), CC BY-SA 4.0

Marty: Come on, forget it. It's just one of those dickheads that follows the Motherfucker on Twitter. Dave: Who? Marty: The Motherfucker, he's some guy planning to be the world's first supervillain. He's got like a thousand followers already. Dave: What an asshole.

Kick-Ass 2 (film), CC BY-SA 4.0

Mr. Lizewski: Dave, have you been sneaking out at night? Miss Neipert said she thought she saw you leaving at two in the morning. Dave: Miss Neipert's crazy, Dad. She tried to teach her dog Spanish.

Kick-Ass 2 (film), CC BY-SA 4.0