Quotes

Dialogue

Once upon a time, long, long ago. Well, more like 20 years ago. Belle married her Beast in front of 6,000 of their closest personal friends. Big cake. Yeah, so, instead of a honeymoon, Beast united all of the kingdoms and got himself elected king of the United States of Auradon. He rounded up all the villains and sidekicks, basically all the really interesting people and he booted them off to the Isle of the Lost with a magical barrier to keep them there. This is my hood. No magic. No Wi-Fi. No way out. Or so I thought. Hang on, you're about to meet us. But first this happened.

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Man: Sleeve. Head. Beast: How is it possible that you're going to be crowned king next month? You're just a baby. Belle: He's turning 16, dear. Ben: Hey, Pops. Beast: 16? That's far too young to be crowned king. I didn't make a good decision until I was at least 42. Belle: Uh, you decided to marry me at 28. Beast: Ah, it was either you or a teapot. [He winks at Ben, who laughs, but Belle scoffs] Kidding. Ben: Mom, Dad-- Man: Ah! Mm-mmm! Ben: I've chosen my first official proclamation. I've decided that the children on the Isle of the Lost be given a chance, to live here in Auradon. Belle: (squeaks) Ben: Every time I look out to the island, I feel like they've been abandoned. Beast: The children of our sworn enemies, living among us? Beast: Have you? Belle: I gave you a second chance. Who are their parents? Ben: Cruella de Vil, Jafar, Evil Queen, and Maleficent. Man: Ah! Oh, oh. Beast: Maleficent! She is the worst villain in the land! Ben: Dad, just hear me out here. Beast: I won't hear

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Maleficent: You will go. You will find fairy godmother and you will bring me back her magic wand. Easy peasy. Mal: What's in it for us? Maleficent: Matching thrones. Hers-and-hers crowns. Calos: Um, I think she meant us. (Points at himself, Mal, Evie and Jay.)

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Carlos: Ow! You got everything else! Why do you want whatever this is?! Jay: Coz you want it!

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Audrey: I totally do not blame you for your mother trying to kill my parents and stuff. Oh, my mom's Aurora. Sleeping... Mal: Beauty. Yeah, I've heard the name, you know, and I totally do not blame your grandparents for inviting everyone in the whole world... but my mother to their stupid christening.

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Jay: (smirking) That's your mother's spinning wheel? Carlos: Yeah, it's kinda dorky. Mal: It's magic. It doesn't have to look scary.

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Fairy Godmother: If someone gives you a crying baby, do you, A: curse it? B: lock it in a tower? C: give it a bottle? Or D: carve out its heart? Fairy Godmother: Evie. Evie: What was the second one? Fairy Godmother: (Smiles, tries not to look disappointed.) Oh, okay. Anybody else? Mal? Mal: C, give it a bottle. Fairy Godmother: Correct. Again. Carlos: You are on fire, girl! Mal: Just pick the one that doesn't sound like any fun. Carlos: Oh. Evie: That makes so much sense. Mal: Oh. Jane: (squeals) Fairy Godmother: Hello, dear one. Jane: Hi. You need to sign off on early dismissal for the coronation. Fairy Godmother: Everyone here remembers my daughter, Jane? Jane: Mom, no! Fairy Godmother: It's okay. Jane, this is everyone. Jane: Hi. That's okay. Don't mind me. As you were. (squeals) Fairy Godmother: (clears throat) Let's continue. You find a vial of poison. Do you, A: put it in the king's wine? B: paint it on an apple? Or C: turn it over to the proper authorities? Carlos: Oh! Oh! Get o

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Lonnie: It's just... (rips the bottom her dress.) Now I'm cool! Mal: Like ice. Jane: (Rips the bottom her dress too before looking shocked.) What did I just do?! My mom's gonna kill me!

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Mal: Coz we're rotten... All VKs: To the core.

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Lonnie: It could use some chips. Jay: Chips? Mal: And those are? Lonnie: Chocolate chips. Just the most important food group. Wait, didn't your moms ever make you guys chocolate chip cookies? Like, when you were feeling sad, and they're fresh from the oven, with a big old glass of milk, and she just makes you laugh and puts everything into perspective and... why are you all looking at me like that? Mal: It's just different where we're from. Lonnie: Yeah, I know. I just, you know, I thought... even villains love their kids. Lonnie: Oh... how awful.

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Jay: Are you feeling kinda weird about this? I mean... it's not so bad here, you know. Mal: Are you insane?! Long live evil! You're mean! You're awful! You're bad news! Snap out of it! Jay: Thanks, Mal. I needed that.

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Mal: Ben! Ugh! You scared me! Ben: You can't swim? Mal: No! Ben: You live on an island! Mal: Yeah, with a barrier around it, remember? Ugh! Ben: (touched) And you still tried to save me? Mal: Yeah! And do you thank me?! No! All I get is soaking wet!

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Mal: I don't know what love feels like. Ben: Maybe I can teach you.

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Evie: M, what d'you think are parents are gonna do if we don't pull this off? Mal: I think they'll be... quietly disappointed in us, but ultimately... proud of us for doing our best. Carlos: Really? Mal: No, I think we are definitely goners.

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Queen Leah: Hello. Mal: Hi. Queen Leah: Have we met? Queen Leah: Ah. Audrey: Grammy! Queen Leah: Oh, Audrey! Give Grammy a kiss, dear. Audrey: Sleeping Beauty's mother. (Mal nods nervously.) Grammy, I don't think you want to be talking to this girl. Unless you feel like taking another hundred-year nap. Queen Leah: What? (Mal looks at her awkwardly.) You?! How are you here? And how have you stayed so young? Ben: Queen Leah, it's ok. Maleficent is still on the island. This is her daughter, Mal. Don't you remember my proclamation to give the new generation a chance? Queen Leah: A chance to what, Ben? Destroy us? You remember? The poison apples? And the spells? Spells... (To Mal.) My daughter was raised by fairies because of your mother's curse. (Mal looks at her, obviously ashamed.) So her first words, her first steps, I missed it all! Chad: Go away! Stay away from her! Ben: Don't do this, Chad. Chad: What?! They were raised by their parents, Ben. What do you think villains teach their ki

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Mal: Do you feel ok? Ben: You bet. Mal: Would you say that you're still in... that... that you have very strong feelings for me? Ben: I'm not sure. I mean, let's give the anti-love potion a few minutes to take effect. Mal: Yeah... ok. (Looks at him in shock, Ben laughs.) What?! You knew?! Ben: That you spelled me? Yeah, I knew. Mal: (Anxiously) I can explain myself! Ben: No, look, it's fine. I mean, you had a crush on me. I was with Audrey. You didn't trust that it could happen on its own. Am I right? Mal: (Hastily) Yes! You're so right. So, then, how long have you known? Ben: Since our first date. Your spell washed away in the Enchanted Lake. Mal: So what, you've just been... faking it since then? Ben: I haven't been faking anything. (Mal looks both touched and surprised.)

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Fairy Godmother: Do you solemnly swear to govern the peoples of Auradon, with justice and mercy, as long as you shall reign? Maleficent: Oh, grab the thing already! Ben: I do solemnly swear. Fairy Godmother: Then it is my honor and my joy, to bless our new king. (gasps) Maleficent: Yes! Yeah! Cruella de Vil: Oh! Maleficent: Oh! Evil Queen: The barrier is broken! We're free! Maleficent: Scepter! Now! (cackling) Fairy Godmother: Child, what are you doing? Jane: If you won't make me beautiful, I'll do it myself! Bibbidi-Bobbidi-Boo! Beast: Take cover! Belle: Careful, Mal! Ben: Mal, give me the wand. Mal: Stand back. Ben: It's okay. Mal: Ben, I said stand back! Audrey: I told you so! Carlos: (To Mal anxiously) Let's go! Jay: (Uneasily) Revenge time. Ben: You really wanna do this? Mal: We have no choice, Ben! Our parents... Ben: Your parents made their choice. Now you make yours. Mal: (Quietly) I think I wanna be good. Ben: You are good. Mal: How do you know that? Ben: Because... Because I'

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Oh! (chuckles) I was having so much fun, I almost forgot. You didn't think this was the end of the story, did you?