The Golden Girls, season 1

Dorothy: I taught a class today. The finest school in Dade County. Two girls had shaved heads, and three boys had green hair. Coco: They're expressing themselves. Dorothy: Well, I expressed myself. I told them they had to leave. They were too ugly to look at. Now the parents are mad. A father came in in a three-piece suit and defended Tiffany, a bald girl with a nose ring. [looks over Coco's shoulder to see what he's cooking] What's that? Coco: Enchiladas rancheros. Dorothy: Why don't you just shoot me?

The Golden Girls (season 1), CC BY-SA 4.0

Oh, it is wonderful dating in Miami. All the single men under eighty are cocaine smugglers.

The Golden Girls (season 1), CC BY-SA 4.0

Dorothy: Tell me, how is Blanche? Rose: She didn't go to work again today. It's been three weeks and she just sits in her room. The museum's gonna fire her. Dorothy: Well, we've tried everything. Golf, the movies, theater tickets. She wouldn't even budge for Julio Iglesias. Rose: I know grief. It takes time. Dorothy: Please, Rose. Listen, if you're Irish, you have a wake. You eat, you cry, you drink, you vomit, and you're done. If you're Jewish, you cry, you sit, you eat for seven days, you put on ten pounds, and it's over. We Italians scream, dress up a donkey, hire a band, and that's that. It's these southern Protestants who make it a way of life. Sophia: When I go, put me in a steel sack and leave me on the curb next to the cans.

The Golden Girls (season 1), CC BY-SA 4.0

Dorothy: You walked out on me and you didn't even have the decency to tell me you were leaving. I heard it from some lawyer over the telephone. A stranger, Stanley, a total stranger told me that my marriage was over. Stanley: Dorothy, look, things happened... Dorothy: Things happened. You're damn right things happened. Thirty-eight years happened. Thirty-eight years of sharing and crying and dreaming and fighting, and loving and, and children and diapers and, and school plays and little league. And worrying if you'd get through your gallbladder surgery and wondering if I'd get through another Sunday dinner at your mother's house. And the lean years, when the business failed. And the good years and the happy Christmases. All those things happened, Stanley, and because they happened, I deserved better than a stinking phone call from my husband's legal representative. You had a choice, Stanley, and you took the easy way out and it was a rotten thing to do. But now you're here in front of

The Golden Girls (season 1), CC BY-SA 4.0

Dorothy: Honey, are you alright? Rose: I'll be fine. Blanche: Is this about Arnie? Dorothy: No, Blanche. She's upset because they keep changing the taste of Coke.

The Golden Girls (season 1), CC BY-SA 4.0

Blanche: I'm going to have to meet men lying down. Sophia: I thought you did.

The Golden Girls (season 1), CC BY-SA 4.0