Quotes

Dialogue

Lieutenant, junior grade Douglas A. "Doug" Roberts: Doc, that new hospital hasn't got nurses, has it? Lieutenant "Doc": It didn't have yesterday. Ensign Frank Thurlowe Pulver: It has today. Lieutenant "Doc": And how did you find out they were there? Ensign Frank Thurlowe Pulver: Just came to me all of a sudden. I was lying in my bunk here this morning, um, thinking. And there wasn't a breath of air. And all of a sudden, a funny thing happened. A little breeze came up, and I took a big, deep breath, and I said to myself, "Pulver, boy, there's women on that island!"

Dialogue

Lieutenant, junior grade Douglas A. "Doug" Roberts: Frank, I like you. There's no getting around the fact that you're a real likable guy. Ensign Frank Thurlowe Pulver: Yeah? Yeah! Lieutenant, junior grade Douglas A. "Doug" Roberts: But... Ensign Frank Thurlowe Pulver: But what? Lieutenant, junior grade Douglas A. "Doug" Roberts: Well, I also think you're the most hapless, lazy, disorganized, and in general, the most lecherous person I've ever known in my life. Ensign Frank Thurlowe Pulver: I am not! Lieutenant, junior grade Douglas A. "Doug" Roberts: You're not what? Ensign Frank Thurlowe Pulver: I'm not disorganized, for one thing! Lieutenant, junior grade Douglas A. "Doug" Roberts: Have you ever in your life finished one thing you started out to do? You sleep 16 hours a day. You pretend you want me to improve your mind. You've never finished one book I've given you to read. Ensign Frank Thurlowe Pulver: I finished God's Little Acre, Doug boy! Lieutenant, junior grade Douglas A. "Doug

Dialogue

Lieutenant, junior grade Douglas A. "Doug" Roberts: Doc, he lies in his sack all day long, bores me silly with great, moronic plots against the captain. He's never carried out one of them. Ensign Frank Thurlowe Pulver: I haven't, huh? Lieutenant, junior grade Douglas A. "Doug" Roberts: No, Frank, you haven't. Whatever happened to those marbles you were gonna put in the captain's overhead so they'd roll around all night and keep him awake? Ensign Frank Thurlowe Pulver: Now you've gone too far. Now you've asked for it. [He pulls out a box.] What does that look like? Five marbles. Got another one in my pocket. Six marbles. I'm looking for marbles all day long!

Dialogue

Lieutenant, junior grade Douglas A. "Doug" Roberts: We've got nothing to do with the war. Maybe that's why we're on this ship, 'cause we're not good enough to fight. 'Cause our glands don't secrete enough adrenaline or our great-great-grandmothers were afraid of the dark or something. Lieutenant "Doc": What is it you want to be, Doug, a hero? Lieutenant, junior grade Douglas A. "Doug" Roberts: Hero? Doc, you haven't heard a word I've said. Look, Doc, the war's way out there, and I'm here. Well, I don't want to be here, I wanna be out there. I'm sick and tired of being a lousy spectator.

Dialogue

Lieutenant "Doc": That's mostly what makes physical heroism. Opportunity. It's a reflex. I think 75 out of a hundred young males have that reflex. You take any one of them. Say even Frank Thurlowe Pulver, here. Put him into a B-29 over Japan, and you know what you'd have? Lieutenant, junior grade Douglas A. "Doug" Roberts: No, I don't, Doctor. Lieutenant "Doc": You'd have Pulver, the Congressional Medal of Honor winner. Pulver who, single-handed, shot down 23 attacking Zeros. Pulver who, with his bare hands, held together the severed wing struts of his plane and, with his bare feet, successfully landed his mortally wounded plane on his home field. Reflex. It's like the knee jerk. Strike the patella tendon in any human being, you produce the knee jerk. Look. [He hits Ensign Frank Thurlowe Pulver in the knee, and nothing happens.] Ensign Frank Thurlowe Pulver: What's the matter, Doc? Lieutenant "Doc": Nothing, but, uh, stay out of B-29s, Frank, my boy.

Dialogue

Lieutenant, junior grade Douglas A. "Doug" Roberts: Captain, you told me... Lieutenant Commander Morton: Never mind what I told you! I'm telling you.

Dialogue

Lieutenant, junior grade Douglas A. "Doug" Roberts: How did you get in the Navy? How did you get on our side? Ah, you ignorant, arrogant, ambitious... keeping 62 men in prison, 'cause you got a palm tree for the work they did. I don't know which I hate worse, you or that other malignant growth that stands outside the door. Lieutenant Commander Morton: Why, you stinking little...! Lieutenant, junior grade Douglas A. "Doug" Roberts: How did you ever get command of a ship? I realize in wartime they have to scrape the bottom of the barrel, but where did they ever scrape you up? Lieutenant Commander Morton: There's just one thing left for you, Mister. A general court martial! Lieutenant, junior grade Douglas A. "Doug" Roberts: That suits me fine, court martial me! Lieutenant Commander Morton: You've got it! Lieutenant, junior grade Douglas A. "Doug" Roberts: I'm asking for it! If I can't get transferred, I'll get court martialed off! I'm fed up! But you'll need a witness. Call your messenge

Dialogue

Shore Patrol Officer: A little while ago, six men from your ship broke into the home of the French colonial governor. Started throwing things through a plate glass living room window. We found some of the things on the lawn. Large world globe. Small love seat. A lot of books. A bust of Balzac. The French writer? We also found an Army private, first class, who was unconscious at the time. He claims they threw him, too. Lieutenant, junior grade Douglas A. "Doug" Roberts: Through the window? Shore Patrol Officer: That's right. It seems he took 'em there for a little joke. He didn't tell 'em it was the governor's house. He told 'em it was uh...well, what we call in Alabama... Lieutenant, junior grade Douglas A. "Doug" Roberts: Yeah, we call it the same thing in Nebraska. Shore Patrol Officer: Well, that's about all, Lieutenant. If it makes you feel any better, Admiral Wentworth says this is the worst ship he's ever seen in his entire naval career.

Dialogue

Chief Boatswain's Mate Dowdy: Schlemmer! Schlemmer, you alright? Schlemmer: Yeah. Chief Boatswain's Mate Dowdy: Get up here, you idiot! What're you tryin' to do? Get up here! Schlemmer: I forgot my motorcycle! Chief Boatswain's Mate Dowdy: Come back here, Schlemmer! [Schlemmer jumps back into the water.]

Dialogue

Lieutenant Commander Morton: Yes, who is it? Ensign Frank Thurlowe Pulver: Captain, it is I, Ensign Pulver, and I just threw your stinking palm tree overboard! [This gets Morton's attention as he puts town the comic book and faces Pulver.] Now what's all this crud about no movie tonight?!